I DON'T. [harvey mills]

Ten.

It's more than clear that I'm not thinking straight. I probably wouldn't say this in other circumstances, but it's almost as if I couldn't stop spitting out every stupid word that comes to my mind.

"I like him" I say.

He nods looking upset "night, Morgan" he says walking out the room, and for some reason, I am not able to say anything to stop him.

•••

I can't remember what happened after that. All I know, is I woke up with a terrible headache.

"Does your head hurt?" Harvey asks me as soon as he sees me putting a hand on my forehead.

"How long have you been here?"

"This is my house. Uh- what do you mean how long have I been here?"

"What time is it?"

"10... ish"

"Oh. It's late. I gotta go. I don't think my parents are home. It must be just Mae right now, so that means I can go" I say getting up

"Bet that's an excuse" he says, "You're going to see Bryce, aren't you?"

"What-"

"You want him? Fine. I hope he does exactly what I did for you last night. But maybe if you weren't so blinded by his perfect hair or perfect eyes,", he says sarcastically "you would be able to see that he doesn't care about you. Neither as a friends nor as anything else"

"You know nothing, okay? "

"Believe whatever you want, okay? Go to him, Morgan, go see him. Go kiss him. I don't care. Not anymore" he says.

I wasn't even thinking about Bryce. My mind was all over Harvey. Honestly, he is pretty cute, but I am so pissed right now, the only thing I that comes out of my mouth, —even though it's not even true— is "I guess that's what I'm gonna do" and without even fixing my hair or anything about me, I grab my stuff and rush out of his apartment.

•••

I enter my apartment. Mae is lying on the couch and she tells me "you stayed over at Emily's or was that a lie?"

"I-uh" I put a hand on my forehead "no, it wasn't a lie"

"What happened at that party?", she asks. There's awkward silence "No way" she exclaims with a grin on her face "You got drunk. You... got drunk!"

"Shush"

"My parents aren't here, chill" she says "so... how did it happen?"

I could tell her the whole truth... but I don't want someone else telling me that Bryce was an ass for getting me to drink and not saying a word after. "You go to many parties, Mae, you know exactly how these things happen".

"And how do you feel right now?"

"Sorta... uh... well, I have a really terrible headache"

"I was going out now, but do you want me to help you with-"

"Nah. I'm fine. You go" I say.

•••

After she left, I fell asleep on the couch. I only woke up after she came back and smashed the door closed.

""You will not believe this" she yells

"Believe what?" I ask her.

"Harvey and Emily are a thing!" she tells me

"Harvey? The boy that lives in the building opposite to ours?"

And the one I may or may not have something for?

"Yeah, him. I mean, I'm not completely sure. Did Bryce and Emily break up? Is that why you two went on a date the other day?"

"Ah... yeah" I answer looking down at the floor. I don't want to believe what she is saying. After all, maybe it isn't even true. It can't be true. I refuse to believe it is. However, I can't help but wonder if it is. But it couldn't be. He likes me-

"What are you thinking about?"

"Noth- I just wanted to know... how do you know... that Harvey and her are like... together?"

"I saw them. At the mall. They were... well... they held hands and then she kissed him"

"Did he kiss her back?"

"Yeah" she nods "I guess he did"

I look back down at the floor "Ah"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't"

"Morgan... you clearly care. Way more than you think"

I care. I shouldn't, but I care. I can't even understand why I care, but I care. Too. Damn. Much.

"No. I... I like Bryce"

"No, you-"

"We kissed" I tell her to distract her from insisting about Harvey "it was a great kiss"

"Oh yeah? How'd it happened?"

"At the party. We-uh... we were playing truth or dare and he was dared to kiss me"

"Not exactly the best way it could've happened in, huh?"

"Maybe not. But I'm telling you, it was great."

"Better than the one you had with Harvey?"
How does she even know about that kiss? She wasn't even there.

"How do you even know about that?"

The expression on her face changes into a very confused one "Wait... So you two did kiss? Yikes, I was just kidding"

"Oh... yeah. Me too" I chuckle

She rolls her eyes and says "You're a terrible liar!"

"I know. I know"

"Why won't you tell me what happened?"

"Cause..."

"Do you not trust me?"

And there she goes again.

"Yes, I do, I do. You want to know what happened? Fine. You see... that one day when you first met him... we um... talked and then he told me he liked me and he... kissed me"

"So he has a thing for you, huh?"

"Yeah. He does. Or at least... he did" I answer pretending I am okay, but deep down, it's truly bothering me. "Are you sure they're together?"

"No, but they sure looked like it"

So that means she's not even sure about what she's saying. She could be wrong. This must be a misunderstanding. They can't be a thing. They just can't. Nope. No way. Not like it affects me in any way. But no. They're not a thing.