I DON'T. [harvey mills]

Four.

I pull away. I can't believe what just happened. He kissed me!

"Why-why did you do that?" I exclaim in a high pitched voice

"I had wanted to do that since I met you at the party"

"Well, I hadn't. What even..."

"I like you"

"Woah... I..."

"I have been thinking about you day and night, and day and night and day and night and day and when I saw you here, I-"

"Okay, I get it" I stop him

He starts twiddling his thumbs, making it obvious to me that he is nervous "so..." he smiles

"Dude, we talked for like 5 minutes at that party. What the heck do you mean you like me?"

"It was more than enough. Plus, come on, Morgan. You obviously like me too! You've been stalking me from your window"

"How do you know it was me?"

"Please, with that face? I'd recognize you anywhere. I've seen you"

I won't deny that's the most flattering compliment I've ever gotten from a boy, but it still won't make me change my mind.

"You totally like me" he says

"I think you're a bit delusional" I press my lips together, "leave" I say pushing him towards the main door

"I don't want to leave" he stops me and tries to kiss me once again, and I back off.

"But I want you to" I reply opening the door, seeing both, Bryce and Emily outside

"Wha-what are you guys..." I asked them being unable to finish my sentence

"Movie night, remember?"

"Oh" I put a hand on my forehead "movie night... right! But what is-"

"Bryce didn't have any plans so I invited him to come as well"

"Ah" I answer "cool"

"Hi" Bryce says to me

"Hey, Bryce" I respond looking nervous. Why does he make me so nervous?

"Who's your friend?" Emily asks me pretending not to know who he is. She knows, from the party.

"He's Harvey... from the party, remember? Turns out he's my neighbor"

"It's a small world, I guess" Harvey says laughing

Emily and Bryce laugh "it sure is", she says "so are you guys like... dating?"

I wanna make Bryce jealous. I want to make him want me. This will probably not get me anywhere... but maybe? "Yes. He's my..." I gulp "boyfriend" I say grabbing his hand. Bryce is the only reason I'm doing this.

Harvey looks at me and gives me a small smile, probably thinking I've changed my mind. "We just started dating" he says playing along.

"This means... that's why you told Mason that you didn't want to be with him that one day! You had feelings for Harvey"

"Well... it's not exactly what..."

"It's actually... far more complicated than it seems. But we like each other and we're happy together, aren't we, babe?" he asks me kissing my cheek

I force a smile "Yes, we are!"

•••

"Bye, guys" I say closing the door. I go to my room and sit on my bed for a while, not being able to think about anything but how I keep on making things worse. 

Unknown
Hey, it's Harvey
I told Emily I had lost all my contacts and asked her to give me your phone
Hope you don't mind ;)

I go to the window and open it, I couldn't help but smile as soon as I got that text. Maybe a part of me likes it, but since I like to pretend I am tough, pretend I don't or can't  feel anything, I pretend it's nothing to me.

Morgan
Oh
Ugh
Hey I guess

Harvey
I saw you smiling when you got my text

Morgan
You cant even see me

Harvey
I can now

He opens the window and waves at me smiling

Harvey
I make you nervous
Don't try to deny it

I roll my eyes and then smile to myself

Morgan
You're so annoying

Harvey
I like you too :)

"You're an idiot, Harvey" I yell unintentionally smiling at him

He smiles back "goodnight"

"Goodnight" I say rolling my eyes and closing the window.

I can't stop thinking about the kiss, which was actually my first, and which kind of pisses me off to think about.

You may be thinking I am making a big deal out of nothing, but it is a biggie to me. I am 16 and since I hadn't had my first kiss yet, I honestly expected it to be more... special. Not to mention that, I would've only wanted to get it from one person and only one person, who in fact isn't Harvey, it's Bryce... welp. It is something to think about.

Everybody says I have to forget about him. Even my gut feeling does. I like to think of him as an asshole and as a waste of time. Mostly because it broke my heart when he confessed his feelings to Emily, specially because everyone thought he had a thing for me.

Being in love with him is hell. But the worst part is possibly that he is dating one of my friends. And in case you're wondering why I am so chill with them dating and stuff, I just want to say, I am not. I am really not okay with all that happening. What I said before, I lied. I haven't forgiven her, because, I mean, think about it... who the hell would be okay with one of the people you trust the most to start flirting with your crush and eventually start dating him even when she knew how much he meant to you and yet, now, rub it on your face every time they feel like it? Would you be okay with that? Because I know I am not.