188 // PRIVATE CONVERSATION

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LANAahahahaha Chris you are so predictable

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LANA
ahahahaha Chris you are so predictable

CHRIS
What are you on about now?

LANA
You're going to New York

CHRIS
Yes, and?

LANA
I'm gonna take a wild guess here
But you wouldn't be going to see a certain SOMEONE, would you? 👀
Someone whose name starts with 'RE' and ends with 'GAN'

CHRIS
Wtf no
I have work in Soho
I'm meeting with a playwright

LANA
Funny how you chose to try your hand at theater right when Regan moves to Manhattan 👀
Your excuses are so lame

CHRIS
Stoooop Lana I know where this is going

LANA
Come on, don't tell me you're not going to New York to see her
Because even if you do I won't believe you

CHRIS
Guess I won't say anything then 🙄

LANA
Bahahahah this is so cute
You're so busted

CHRIS
I'm surprised that you're laughing instead of throwing a fit tbh

LANA
HA! So you're suggesting there's something to throw a fit about? 😏

CHRIS
NO
STOP BEING WEIRD

LANA
Oh pleaaaaase
I've caught you texting her like 3 dozen times already
I know you guys keep in touch

CHRIS
So what? We're friends
I know it might seem odd that we're on good terms after all that's happened but there's no hard feelings at all

LANA
Lol
Chris
Come on
You can tell me you like her
I know you do

CHRIS
Errr no I don't?

LANA
Mate, I know denial when I see it
Have you forgotten my husband and I basically invented it

CHRIS
Lmao how could anyone forget

LANA
Look, all I'm saying is if you do like her
And if you want to pursue a relationship
You have my blessing

CHRIS
Omfg what has pregnancy done to you
I swear you're like a totally different person

LANA
I'm not sure how to take this but I'll assume it's a compliment 🙃
Seriously though, Regan is not the person she used to be 3 years ago. She's grown a lot and I'm hella proud of her tbh. She deserves to have a committed and caring relationship
And I think you do too

CHRIS
That actually means a lot Lana
I'm still not entirely sure if this is you talking or if the pregnancy hormones have taken over your brain
But I'll take it 😅

LANA
I still have a feeling this isn't a compliment but I'll just consider it is 🙂

CHRIS
😂
Can I be honest with you?

LANA
Because you weren't honest before?

CHRIS
FFS 😅
No what I mean is
You were right
I think I do like her
But it's not like it was 3 years ago
When I saw her at your wedding it felt like we were meeting for the first time
At the same time it reminded me why I had feelings for her back in the day

LANA
Interesting
Because I confronted her about what the hell was going on a few months ago
And she said the exact same thing about you

CHRIS
Really?

LANA
Yeah
Same wording and everything

CHRIS
Oh
Good to know

LANA
You know what this means 👀

CHRIS
What?

LANA
Go get your girl, champ

CHRIS
Good God are you seriously trying to get me to date your sister

LANA
Don't pretend I need to do much convincing 👀

CHRIS
Can you stop using that fucking emoji it's creeping me out

LANA
What? You mean this emoji 👀?

CHRIS
YES THE CREEPY EYES EMOJI

LANA
👀👀👀👀👀
it's perfect to call you out on your bullshit though

CHRIS
You're playing cupid with the subtlety of a bulldozer, you know that?

LANA
I am ENABLING, my dear Evans
Big difference
I figured that after making Marj and Jeremy's relationship happen, I may as well keep up the matchmaking since I'm so good at it

CHRIS
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA how did you make Marj and Jeremy's relationship happen, you had no clue about it until a few months ago??

LANA
Excuuuuse me they literally wouldn't have met if it wasn't for me

CHRIS
Yeah but that doesn't make you a matchmaker

LANA
It means I am an ENABLER

CHRIS
Or a pain in the ass
Interchangeably 😂

LANA
asdfghjklfsg you can't tell me things like that I'm PREGNANT 😢

CHRIS
I'll be nice if you and Robert make me godfather

LANA
Ughhhh not this again
You and Scarlett have been nagging me for 6 months about being godparents
GET OVER YOURSELVES

CHRIS
I am the natural choice yOU CAN'T DENY IT

LANA
Choosing our baby's godparents should be a sentimental and instinctive process but you lot are literally bullying us into it 😩

CHRIS
I'd be a kickass godfather and you know it

LANA
Fml I want a positive ADULT role model in my kid's life tyvm

CHRIS
THE DISRESPECT
I am so offended
You shall never make it up to me
Unless...

LANA
Let me guess, the only way I can make it up to you is by naming you godfather? 🙄

CHRIS
Precisely 😌

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