Saving Each Other

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Two weeks have gone by since the incident with Lydia. I still can't get it out of my head, her telling me no one wants a fat ass. I had been cleared by the doctor to have sex again but I just couldn't let Juice see me naked. I couldn't even look at myself. I was barely eating anything. Every time I would look at food I would hear her calling me fat ass. I had started keeping tabs on my weight and with not eating, I decided to look at some other ways to lose weight. I was trying everything. Making myself throw up anything I ate, taking a laxative once a day, anything to make it go away. I was even sleeping on the couch and barely speaking to Juice. I didn't realize just how much of a toll it was taking on my body.

We were at work and Bill walked into the office closed both doors. "What's going on with you?" he asked. "What do you mean?" I asked, not looking up from the paperwork I had in front of me. "You aren't acting like yourself and you are wasting away to nothing. When was the last time you ate something?" He asked. "I ate this morning. I am eating." I tell him, getting agitated. "Well, you aren't eating enough." he says back. "I'm fine. Between you and Juice, you are driving me crazy. I am fine. Can't y'all get that through your heads?" I almost scream. Juice comes running back into the office to see what's going on. As he walks in, I get light headed and pass out.

I wake up at the emergency room. "Mrs. Ortiz, what's the last thing you remember?" the doctor asked. "I was in the office at work and talking to Bill." I say. "Good, when was the last time you ate?" he asked. "I ate this morning." I tell him. "When was the last time you ate and kept it down?" he asked. I look at him confused. "Running the tests we have, your symptoms are consistent with an eating disorder. How long have you been not keeping things down?" he asked. "A couple of weeks." I tell him. "What methods are you using?" He asked. "Purging or barely eating anything at all. Using laxatives." I tell him and Juice's eyes go wide. "Doctor, can you give me and my wife a second please?" Juice asked. The doctor walks out of the room and he sits down on the side of the bed. "Janie, why are you doing this?" he asked. "Juice, I can't even look at myself in the mirror. All I see is fat." I tell him honestly. "Is that why you won't let me see you naked? Why you are sleeping on the couch?" he asked. I look away nodding my head yes. "Baby, why are you doing this? You don't realize how perfect you are." he tells me. Crying I tell him "I just can't get what she said out of my head. She's right. You deserve someone that can be what you want." I tell him. "Are you kidding me? You are the only one that I want. You are so fucking beautiful, baby. There's no one better for me than you." he tells me. "I'm sorry Juice." I cry even harder. The doctor comes back in and tells us some ways to get my weight back up a little and to get me back on my feet. Once we leave the hospital, Juice calls Bill to tell him everything and he brings Libby home to us. Once he walks in the door, he sits beside me and pulls me into his side. "Janie Bug, don't ever let someone make you feel that way. People say things to make others feel bad to feed their own ego. I want you to take the rest of the week and relax. I will handle the shop." Bill tells me. He's not called me Janie Bug in years. I just look down at the baby in my arms and quietly sob.