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"So, how'd you get this?" I asked touching the scar that is on the side of Mesyiah's face.
"My dad cut my face with a blade when I was eleven." he said making me frown.
"Are you serious?" I asked grabbing the bottom of his face and turning his head.
"Dead serious." he said turning his head to look at me. "I'm fine it was six years ago."
"That's still sad, let me kiss it." I said kissing the scar, he shook his head. "It make you look tough."
"I am tough." he said. "I can ask you a question?"
"Mhm." I said sitting back at my vanity and pulling my wig off.
"You know somebody who committed suicide?" he asked as I pulled the stocking cap off, revealing my hair that was braided.
"Why you ask that?" I asked him, beginning to take down a braid.
"The pamphlets." he nodded at the pamphlets that sat on my dresser.
"I tried to, when I was twelve." I told him. "Help me."
I rolled myself over to between his legs and he started helping me take down the braids. "Why?"
I shrugged. "I was getting bullied, bad. That's actually the reason why I left private school because they were bullying me so badly, I ended up trying to kill myself. My mom found me, she said it was the worst day of her life. I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills and I slit my wrists, see."
I lifted the sleeve of my shirt to show him my wrists, that had scars on them. "I went to therapy for some years and now we're here." I smiled putting my hands under my face. "Also my room is yellow because that's the suicide awareness color."
"I wouldn't have even guessed it." I shrugged. "I'm happy you happy now."
"Thank you, Mesyiah." I said finishing my braid. "We gotta work on getting you happy."
"I'm happy." he lied making me roll around in my chair to face him.
"You said to me, and I quote, not much to smile about. So when you don't have anything to smile about, I take it as you're not happy." I said crossing my arms on his lap and leaning forward. "Why?"
"Why what?" he asked pushing my hair out my face.
"Why aren't you happy?" I asked.
"My dad killed my mama four months ago." he said to me. "That's why I moved here, I ain't have nowhere else to go but I haven't been happy for some years now, that just added on."
"Your dad... where is he? What happened?" I asked.
"Jail. He used to beat my mama ass, everyday. That's how I got the scar, he was beating on her and I tried to break it up so he got on top of me, held me down, and cut my face. Anyway, he beat her ass and I came home to her laying face down on the kitchen floor, dead." I looked at him with this sorry expression. "It's fucked up, she ain't deserve that. She was a good person, love is just a prison."
"I'm sorry." I said holding his face in my hands. "I'm sorry I even asked."
"You good, I'm good." he said trying to look away but I held his face so he couldn't. "Tink."
"You aren't coping correctly, Mesyiah. You haven't moved past it." I said. "It's okay to cry."
"Tink," he mumbled closing his eyes. "Please."
"It's okay to cry, Mesyiah." I said wiping his face.
"She didn't deserve that, she didn't deserve to die like that." he said letting some tears fall. "If I was there she wouldn't have died."
"I know baby, I know." I whispered letting him put his face in my shoulder to cry. I rubbed the back of his neck and head as he cried. "Let it out."
It's sad, really. His mom was taken away from him, I couldn't imagine not having my parents. I feel bad for him, by the way he's crying I know he's in pain.
"I wish I could've been there, to help her. She wanted to leave." he mumbled as I rubbed his head. "He killed my mama, the only person who loved me in this world."
"You can't blame yourself, you had no control over your fathers actions. It's not your fault, it's anybody's fault but his." I told him. "There's no way you could've known, Syiah. No way."
•
"I wanna beat that hoe up over you Tink." Mya said making me shake my head. "A whole month later, I wanna stomp that hoe."
"I've moved on, you should too Mya." I said. "Karma gon come around for both of them."
"Look like it already did." Mya nodded towards the cafeteria doors to Daisha who looked pregnant. "And I heard they burning too."
I shook my head. "Anyway, what's up with you and your new man?"
"I don't have a new man." I chuckled.
"Nah you gotta new man, my titi be telling me everything. Mesyiah and Tink sitting in the tree." she sung like a child. "Y'all so cute."
"As friends? The cutest ever." I said smiling. "Because that's all we are, friends. Plus I just got out of a relationship."
"With a fuck nigga, Mesyiah gon show you the real deal. That's what you need, broke niggas can't be trusted. My mama taught me that." Mya said making me laugh.
"I'm finna go to class, I'm coming over later." I said standing up from the lunch table and throwing my trash away. Mya nodded walking over to her boyfriend as I grabbed the Wendy's bag and walked out the lunch room. I went to my next class, which I had with Mesyiah, and sat in my seat.
"Tink can we talk?" I rolled my eyes looking up at Daisha.
"What do we have to talk about?" I asked her. "You slept with my boyfriend, Daisha, I wasn't shit but a good friend to you. You don't do that to people and expect them to want to talk to you and be cool."
"Tink, please. It didn't mean anything-"
"Is that supposed to make it better? Obviously our friendship didn't mean anything either because you slept with him. You gave me advice about this nigga when I would think he was cheating and he was cheating on me with you the whole time, it's not shit you can say to me that will make me want to be your friend again. Daisha, leave me alone." I said dipping a fry in ranch. "I wish you the best in life love, you gon need it."
"And that's on period!" Mesyiah's cousin, Amber, said clapping her hands. Mesyiah came and sat beside me making me push the bag over to him. "Read that hoe."
"What happened?" Mesyiah asked.
"Tink reading bitches left and right, that's what happened." I chuckled shaking my head. "You want me to fight her? I'll do it."
"No I don't." I said. "It's not worth the energy. Hey." I said looking at Mesyiah.
"Hey, Tink." he kissed my cheek.
"How are you feeling?" I asked grabbing another fry from his bag.
"I'm okay." he said making me smile.
"That's good."
hey bitches!
my hair is growing so much since I cut in on my birthday, like I'm-
