Breeze Among Flowers (On Hold)

Chapter 1

Picture of Faith .

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CHAPTER 1

Every person has their secret sorrows which the world knows not;

and often times we call a person cold, when they are only sad.

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Faith.

          Bright light hits my face and I crease my eyebrows but I don’t open my eyes. I pull the covers over my face and turn to the other side, trying to go back to sleep.

          “Faith, dear, it’s 8 already. I don’t want you to be late for the first day of college,” dad’s soothing voice says and I can feel the bed sink which means he took a seat just beside me.

          I hold on to my covers tightly, afraid that he would suddenly pull them and see what a horrible mess I was.

          “C’mon sweety,” dad calls out again, now putting his arm on my shoulder.

          “I’m awake,” I mumble out.

          “Good to know that,” he says quietly. “Sweety, are you sure you’re ready to go to college? I mean, you can always take a gap year you know.”

          I pull the covers off me and sit up, covering my arms with the blanket. I glare at him, clutching my teeth for saying those words.

          “Dad, I’m fine. I told you already. I don’t think taking any sort of gap will help me in anyways,” I say strictly.

          “You know you can always go to the thera-”

          “DAD!” I exclaim, cutting him out.

          “Alright, alright, I’m sorry. Get ready now,” he says and kisses my forehead.

          After dad leaves my room, I groan a bit at the thought that I’m finally sophomore. I don’t know how will this go and if I was making the right decision, but I had no choice. I needed a way to distract my mind and for now, and going back to college seemed to be my best option.

          I slowly get out of my warm, comfortable bed and walk to the bathroom. I can already smell dad cooking and hear my younger sister complaining to her friends over the phone about waking up so early.

           When I get to the bathroom, I stand in front of the mirror and stare at myself in disgust. I run my hand through my short, light brown hair in frustration. My brown eyes looked extremely dull and I had bags under my eyes. I haven’t noticed that how much I’ve changed in the past four months up until today. It seemed like I have lost at least ten pounds in these couple of days and my arms…. my arms were covered with deep scars.

           What was making me notice myself so suddenly today? Was it because I was being self-conscious? I mean, I really didn’t care how I looked as I already started believing I was an ugly duckling. Maybe, it was because I didn’t want to be the weirdo of sophomore this year. After all, all girls do want to look their best but maybe I don’t; not anymore at least.

           With a sigh, I force a fake smile on my face, telling myself, “Smile, you ugly bitch.”

          I get out of the bathroom after getting fresh and open my cupboard to see if I could find something good to wear. I threw all my dresses and skirts four months back and all I was left with was jeans and long-sleeved t-shirts or hoodies to wear outside.