The Password Is... {A Jim Moriarty FanFiction♥} *Completed*

12. Vanish inside your kiss.

"Come on then. Out with it." He said leaning against his car. I took a deep breath and started talking.

*A few minutes later *

"So, I only did what Irene told me to do because that way, if I succeeded then I naught be she to succeed on knowing where my parents are. Because I need that information, I need to find them. I haven't seen them for a long long time. It probably sounds like I was using you to get what I want, and I guess in a way I was. And that is so selfish of me, and I feel terribly bad. I just, wanted to find them. You were just-" He cut me off. "I was just a piece of crap for you to use and then you'd be done with me, huh?" He said getting angrier by the second. "Irene told you to get information on Sherlock, but she already has information on him. So why would she tell you to do that? Why did you do that to me Sam? Really why? Because I feel so pissed off right now, and I- you don't even understand." He said pushing himself off of the car. "Understand what? Tell me and it will all be easier to understand. How will I understand if you don't tell me?" I asked. He paced up and down and said,"I can't- I don't-. I don't feel any emotions for anyone, to do with love anyway. So, when I saw you, I just- Look, the whole reason I was in college as a teacher was because I needed to get away from something and go undercover for a while. So, I just expected to leave in a couple of weeks, but then you came into the class and I just- I don't let myself fall in love, or get emotionally attached to people. But this time, I let myself go. I shouldn't have but I did. I couldn't help myself no !matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop." He sighed, looking up into the dark sky. "I feel pissed off because you used me for your own selfishness." He looked back at me with tears forming in his eyes. "I feel like you don't care at all. I feel like the victim here, it's not you. You said it yourself, you were being selfish. I tried Sam, I really tried to stop myself, its not what I do. But you have done something to me and I can't get out of this pit I've fallen into. I feel like you don't give two shits about my feelings and it really is killing me and I don't know how to cope because I've never felt this way before. Ever." He turned away from me and I reached for his shoulder but he turned away from me.

I told you to stay away from him. You've hurt him now, look what you've done. He won't leave you alone now and- Shut up! Just shut up. God damn it.

I sighed and spun around pushing my hands through my hair. Everything was so confusing I couldn't think straight. I wanted to find my parents, of course I did, but I knew I wouldn't be able to right now. I had to push that aside and think bout the present. Now. This very moment. Jim was broken and I'd made him that way. What have you done? "What have I done?" I mumbled. I turned back to Jim who was rubbing his eyes. "Sam, my heart, it doesn't-" he stopped as his voice hitched and his words were caught in his throat. "Jim, I'm sorry. I didn't know that it would do this to you. Don't you think your overreacting just a little bit?" I asked. His eyes widened and he said,"over reacting? I'm, not- have you not heard a single thing I've said?" He choked out. Oh my god. I've messed him up real bad. I had to fix him.

"No, I have heard it. Every word. I'm sorry Jim. Truly I am." I said approaching him. I brought my hands up to his cheeks and tries to calm him down. "Just think about something that will calm you down, huh? Don't get stressed. Please, just- just keep calm." I brought him in ams hugged him tightly. It seemed to be working. "Just, listen. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. You came across as, well, devil may care. And I thought it would just be a one time thing you know? No strings attached. But I was wrong and I'm sorry. I do care about you Jim. I really do. And I'm sorry I made you feel like this." I pulled away and looked at him. He seemed to have calmed down now. "I don't n-normally say this t-to !any p-people. So cherish this one t-time. I forgive you. Just don't, do it, again. Don't h-hurt me. Please, I hate this feeling of broken hearted, whatever you call it. Just please don't do it again." He pleaded. I nodded and told him I promise I won't ever hurt him again.

Jim suddenly took my face in his hands and kissed me passionately. I swear, I could vanish inside his kiss. He pulled away and said,"Everyday I love you more, and more." He loves me. He just said he loves me. He's probably much older than me by about, 15 years or so? By in that moment, that one moment, I didn't care about anything but Jim. "I love you too Jim. I love you I'm so sorry. I really am. I love you so much I can't believe that I feel this way." I said. Jim forced a smile and said,"I have to go." Go? "Where?" I asked. "Home. I need to get home, I have a meeting that I'm going to be late for unless I leave now." He told me. "Its 10:30! This is late!" I said surprised at the time. "Well I work late. Its apart of !y job. Listen, I've got to go. I'm going to see you tomorrow aren't I? So I'll see you then." He said. I nodded and said goodbye. He kissed me one last time before driving off.

I pulled my hood up on my hoodie and walked home. I was happy that we cleared the air and he's okay. I don't think I'd be able to cope knowing he was feeling that way about the situation. But its fine now. Its all good. Is it really? Yes! It is! ...