♛ I Will Not Die ♛

Chapter 19- One Life for Another

I hold Tommen at my hip and he turns into my dress, crying with a quiet wail. I brush his hair with my fingers as I stare off into the receding ship. Myrcella looks at me with tears in her soft eyes. I want to run. To run as far as the water will allow me. To swim to her and bringer her back. But I can barely move. Can barely breathe.

"May the Seven guide the princess on her journey. May the Mother give her health. May the crone give her wisdom. May the warrior give her courage." The high Septon goes on as Tommen's cries go softer. I hear my mother speak to her brother.

"One day I pray you love someone. I pray you love her so much, when you close your eyes, you see her face. I want that for you. I want you to know what it's like to love someone, to truly love someone. Before I take her from you." He turns to face her but she continues to look straight ahead. He walks away, silently.

"You sound like a little cat mewling for his mother. Princes don't cry." Joffrey criticizes and I glare at him. He just smirks.

"I saw you cry." Sana'a pipes up. His smile disappears but mine appears.

"Did you say something, my lady?" He questions.

"My little brother cried when I left Winterfell."

"So?"

"It seems a normal thing."

"Is your little brother a prince?"

"No." She says, a little defeated

"Not really relevant then, is it? Come, dog."

Joffery leaves, followed by the Hound. They walk past Cersei on their way out. She still stares after the skiff. I approach her and hand Tommen off. I lean in and kiss her cheek before pulling her into a hug. Despite it all we both just lost a very special girl to us.

We walk through the crowd, among the kingsguard. I hold close to the Hound with Tommen on my dress. The crowd begins to hassle Joffery.

"Hail Joffrey! Hail to the King. Seven blessings on you, Your Grace."

"Murderer! Bastard!"

"All hail the King."

"He's no king."

"He's a bastard!"

"Please, Your Grace, we're hungry."

"Freak."

Tyrion turns to one of the guards.

"Get the Prince and Princess back to the Keep now." He commands.

"Yes, my lord. Come, quickly." Some of the guards escort Tommen away, hopefully to safety. They try to pull me along but I refuse, grabbing ahold of Clegane's armor.

"I've got this one." He says with a grunt.

"Please, Your Grace, give us some food!"

"Bread, Your Grace, please!"

Joffery ignores them, until he is hit in the face with a mudball. He groans and doubles over. The Hound pulls away from me and he and the other kingsguard draw their swords to defend the king.

"Who threw that? I want the man who threw that. Find who did that and bring him to me!" Joffery screeches. I back up a little, suddenly feeling the fear of the surrounding crowd. The Hound holds Joff back, trying to control him.

"Hold on!"

"Hold them back!" The kingsguard push into the crowd. A full riot begins. I look so see Sansa and her hand maidens. Scared and helpless.

"Just kill them! Kill them all!"

"Move. Move!" Tyrion commands he looks back and reaches for me but the kingsguard blocks my way. The Hound grabs Joffrey around the chest and guides him forward.

"Pull back!"

"Tear him to pieces!"

"What are you doing? I want these people executed!"

"And they want the same for you." The riot escalates. My eyes catch Sansa as she flees awkwardly. I watch in horror as the crowd tears one of their party limb from limb. The crowd cheers. Everything begins to blend together. Words of keeping the king safe. The guards attacking the civilians. My brain goes fuzzy as I try to follow any familiar voice. I try to find something familiar. I sea the sea in the distance and try to go that direction. I could. I could escape.

I find myself in an alley, walking with a stumble. I pull off my heels and chuck them to the ground, not caring about the dirt that clings between my toes. I look around for any familiar structures as I hold the walls of the alleyway.

I hear enclosing echoing voices as I make my way through the ally. I look back to see the shadows of two men at the end of the alleyway. "There!" They call. Their footsteps grow closer and closer as they run towards me. I'm slammed against the wall and I see stars. I feel coldness at my throat. No. No. Not again.

I grip the hand that holds the knife and kick blindly. I hear a groan and push the knife back. I feel it puncture skin and a load scream. "Crazy bitch!" I hear yelled as I open my eyes. I stare directly into blank eyes with a knife in between. I pull away and drop the knife, the body falling with it. The other man runs away in the dark alley and I feel the world spin. I look down at the lifeless body. I try to move but trip on something wet. I look down to see my bare feet covered in blood. I put my hand down to push myself up and feel more wetness.

I begin to hyperventilate, trying desperately to stand up as I while the blood on my dress as best as I can. I stumble backwards, my mind fuzzy and confused. I. I just. I can't stop it. I bend over and throw up onto the ground below me. The tears finally flow like a waterfall as I try to find my way around the body. Suddenly hands grab my arms. I scream out, thrashing and kicking.

"Princess!" A voice calls. I'm relaxed a little at the sound of Ser Meryn even if I hate the man. I still thrash a little as he throws me over his shoulder. I stare at the body as we retreat from the alley. He drops me onto a bench and I wipe my face only to get blood on it. I look over to see Joffrey staring at me. A sadistic glint in his eyes. Like the sight of me covered in blood is the best thing he's ever seen.

I look away, curling up on the bench and closing my eyes. Ignoring the screams and other sounds as I breath out and try to steady my quick breathes. I killed a man just now. I killed a man. I killed him.

I killed.