♛ I Will Not Die ♛

Chapter 1- Arrival In Winterfell

I remember when Joffrey wasn't a down right prick. I remember when Tommen and Myrcella were just fresh babes. I remember when my father wasn't as much of a drunk. I remember when my mother was happy more than when she was just with us.

All those memories seem so distant now. The world before seems so distant now. I believe everything really went downhill when Uncle Jon died. My father's spiral has started long before but his fostered father's death just pushed it along. I didn't mind usually. My father was kind to me and almost never there anyway. My mother always cares for me and gave me love so I was content. But I loved my father almost as much as my mother for as a young child I looked up to him. He was my hero. The leader of the rebellion and the killer of a madman. It didn't take long for his heroic picture in my mind to change.

When I was 12 I had my first blood. And it didn't take long for the rest of my body to catch up with the womanly changes. At 14 and a half I had been given my mother's beauty and even more is what all the people whispered. I didn't see how that could be for my mother is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

At this age I really looked up to my father. I followed him everywhere. One night he got a little too drunk. I was in his room with him helping him skin the doe he had caught. He made me learn the things that he should have been teaching his son. He watched me intently as I worked. And when I was almost done he came up behind me and kissed my neck. I was very afraid. I held the knife given to me tightly. Like I would ever harm him. He whispered to me mumbled drunken words. "Lyanna" is what he called me. I had been told I looked like her many times but I always brushed it off. For how I could when I shared no blood with the stark beauty.

Luckily for me my mother had come in to the room to speak to my father and found me in the predicament. She had a fit. Screaming and yelling at him. He took his drunken confused rage out on her while I ran and hid with my little siblings who had no idea what was happening but held me anyway. I lost all respect for my father that day.

He didn't even remember his wrong doing the next day. It's what hurt the most. No apology or acknowledgement that he was wrong. He was a drunk old man who thought I was a whore for him to have. I have nightmares seeded from that day that I would never discuss to any one not even my mother. But it wasn't only my father I feared it was my brother, older by only a few minutes. As I grew so did he and he grew to be a horrible sickly boy.

He was just as scary and intimidating as my father. I felt I could do nothing if I was cornered in a room with him for I was powerless. He acted like he was practically king already. One night he came into my room and laid down in my bed. I told him to leave because I needed sleep but he just stared at me like the last piece of cake at the dining table. He told me to kiss him. And when I threw a fit and started for my door he pinned me against it and screamed and yelled at me. Threatening me and promising me that he would get his kiss and anything else he wanted. For he was going to be king.

It would be an understatement to say I've had my fair share of men trying to use me. When I told me mother of this she was furious but did nothing. For even an oaf of a father could be talked some sense into but my brother could not. I was alone in that fight.

My mind stopped wondering as I was tapped on the shoulder. I looked over to my uncle who smiled a devilish grin. Jaime was a catch. It is sad that he would choose to stay in the king's guard rather than find a girl and settle down. He would be happy. But maybe he just stayed with the king for us. If he wasn't in the king's guard I doubt he would be able to be with me and my mother as much. His sister. They were always so close.

"We're almost there. We don't want you passing out yet." He said sweetly. He patted my shoulder softly before steering his steed away from me. I tightened the reigns of my black mare given to me only for this trip. I had never had my own horse. I had no idea the point of teaching me to ride if I wasn't able to have my own horse.