The Dare

Chapter 31

Alex's POV

The sun was setting and the sky was painted in blue, pink, yellow and orange. How I wished I could enjoy these moments but right now I was thinking about how this is it. This is how it ends.

Standing over the cliff, the river underneath was flowing so peacefully, I was jealous. Why can't I be in peace? There were no tears, just numbness. I had cried way too much of Dylan and I wasn't going to spend my last few breathes crying over him.

It was like I was on auto-pilot mode. I slump down to the ground and sit on the fresh grass and take in nature around. I wanted to remember all the happy moments before I end it. I never thought I would ever do this. I never thought I was this weak. But here I am.

I shake my head and look at the setting sun and start thinking of the happy memories that happened this year.

My first kiss.

It was magical. It was shared underneath the stars and on this cliff. The emotions I felt that night were surreal. Sadness takes over the memory as I remember all of this was done for a dare and nothing more.

How can someone be so cruel and play with someone's emotions? Maybe I deserved this. I know Uncle David would be ashamed of me for doing this but I need this pain to end. Would my family be mad at me for doing this or would they be relieved that I am gone?

Dylan's promise.

I look down to the promise ring on my ring finger. I never had the will in me to take it off and give it back. It was the only part of Dylan that was present with me alongside the memories I was holding. When he asked me to be his girlfriend I thought everything would just be okay in life. I thought I would have a happy family with Dylan. 

I thought a lot but none of my dreams would come true now. Some people will think this is a cowardly way out but I was done with it. I don't think I could go another day and live in the pain. I wanted to be happy and move on but I couldn't.

Losing my virginity.

It was a final promise that he would always be my first. I loved him so much. Hell, I still love him and it broke me knowing that it was one-sided. He marked me in a way I would never forget him. I would always think about him whenever someone asked me about my sex life. He doesn't know the power he holds on me.

To be completely honest, I don't regret it. Even if it was for a few moments, I experienced so many emotions that I know I would never if it wasn't for Dylan.

'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.'

This thought rung in my head and a small smile makes its way on my face. I see the sun had completely set and the sky was clear with the stars twinkling. I grab my phone and see that I had a message from Axel. I don't bother reading it and call him.

"Hey." He says after he picks up.

"Hi," I say softly.

"Are you coming over tonight?" I frown in confusion.

"Was I meant to?" I say with a confused laugh.

"Did you not read my message?" He asks in the same tone.

"No." I chuckle.

"Nevermind then. Where are you?"

"Somewhere." I wasn't going to let anyone find me before I did it.

The line went quiet and we both sat in the comfortable silence.

"Axel, I have to tell you something. You won't see me after today. I will be gone forever and will be at peace once it's over. I want to make sure you will take care of my family and J after I am gone and make sure everything is okay. I don't want anyone blaming themselves for what I am going to do since this is my decision. Make sure everyone is okay after I am gone. I am giving you this responsibility since I trust you with all my heart. I am sorry we couldn't be anything but I did feel something for you. Let Fallon know that I hold no grudge against her I hope she will forgive me for lashing out on her. Please take care of everyone."