Vorfreude

Chapter 18

My eyes flutter open as the room begins to burn.

My skin is hot. 

Super hot. 

Sweat is dripping down my forehead and my hair feels like a matted mess. I look out into darkness, but cannot see anything wrong. My hand reaches forward and feels around on the night stand until my fingers come upon my thin frames. I unconsciously place them on my face and flick on the lamp. The clock reads 5:02 am.

Sighing, I fall back into the pillows and startle when I remember I fell asleep in Oliver's bed next to him. He is faced towards the wall and a light snore is coming from his lips. He looks so... innocent. I'm surprised my loud commotion didn't wake him up. 

I wonder what time we're supposed to be getting up today. My mind fully wakes up when that thought is brought forth. Today is my signing. 

My FIRST signing. 

As a published author. 

What if people don't like me? What if no one has actually read my book meaning they are there just to get an autograph because I'm connected to Harry or worse, to make fun of me? What if no one even shows up?

Oh my gosh..

I feel my anxiety as it begins flexing. 

I need to calm down. I have no one to talk to and the only people who can calm me down and out of this is are hundreds of miles away from me. I wish someone I knew was here with me.. 

I quietly get out of bed and head to the bathroom to refresh myself.  I do some small breathing exercises and remind myself that I didn't come this far to let a little flare of anxiety bring me down. Finally, after a couple minutes, a wave of calmness washes over me and I find relief. 

I look in the mirror once again to now see myself looking like a hobo. I felt so refreshed last night before we fell asleep. I don't understand what happened in these short comatose hours. 

My appearance makes me look as if I had a restless night, but if I'm being honest, I slept very pleasantly. 

The more I look at myself, the more I want to take another shower. Who knew Oliver radiated so much body heat.  I end up washing my face and putting in some dry conditioner. Throughout the process, I decide I should go ahead and get ready before Oliver wakes up particularly because I hate being rushed and if I go look at the itinerary, then everything will become to surreal.

I straighten my curls and paint on my eyebrows within record time. When I come out of the bathroom it's only 5:26 am.

I grab my phone off of the couch where I left it last night and I scroll through hundreds of notifications before curiosity gets the best of me. I go on twitter and search my name. I want to see if people are actually coming today.

I read a few threads from people who are just quoting poems from inside my book. A majority are still just retweeting Harry's first tweet. My heart beat quickens as I come across a photo taken of Harry and I yesterday when we were on the street together. Harry's hands are connected with my arms as he holds me at my elbows. I zoom in and feel my face blushing. We look so nonchalant, almost as if we are friends that enjoy seeing each other on a daily basis. The grin on my face can not compare to his pearly whites. His long hair is blowing in the wind and his tangled coat is hitting my legs. How did I not notice that? 

Together we just look soo.. normal. 

My phone repeatedly vibrates in my hand, sending chills down my body when I see Harry's name flash across my notification menu. It's a speak of the Devil situation, but Harry is no where near in the diameter of hell. 

"Good morning, Katherine ☺️"

"It was great getting to meet you yesterday, but I do wish to know you more."

"Are you awake?"

I feel as if someone has hooked my heart up to a cardio machine given the instant shock and irregular beats processing through my body in this instant. I'm not used to fact that Harry Styles has my number and actually acknowledges me. Matter of fact, I almost forgot I myself have Harry's phone number and can make myself acknowledged if I pleased.

"Morning, Harold 😁 yes, I'm awake. I agree. I cannot wait to get to know you more."

That sounded really corny. Jesus, I'm never going to learn how to sound proper in a text. I can only assume Harry likes proper people, therefore I do not know how he puts up with my oddly worded text messages. Then again, I don't even know why he's interested in me at all. 

I get out of twitter and await his reply.

Is he going to reply?

I sigh after minutes go by and my screen darkens. Getting up I walk over to the desk where Andy set down my copy of the itinerary last night. My eyes begin scanning over dates, but soon everything becomes a jumbled mess. We're leaving from Seattle to Atlanta tonight then from Atlanta back to Washington the day after next. I skip ahead and notice a couple more places where the same occurrence is taking place. Logically how is this beneficial?

I skim back over to today's date and read Whimington Book Store: 2 pm. Oliver and I passed this place yesterday and he said it's one of the most crowed bookstores in Seattle alone. We didn't get to go inside, but it looked huge from the outside. That's definitely appalling. 

I grab my phone and take a pic of the schedule. I need to have a digital copy, but I don't feel like typing myself one up, therefore a photo will do just as much justice. Despite the time, I go ahead and send it to my parents and Ant. I know they all want to have a copy just for safety reasons. I debate on whether or not to send it to Harry even though I told him I would. 

"Would you want to have breakfast with me?" vibrates onto my screen before I can collect my thought. My fingers feel as jittery as my insides while I type a reply.

"Sure! Where are you?"

I walk back into the bathroom to check my appearance again. I know I'm not miraculously gorgeous, but the light in my eyes and the glow in my cheeks make me feel like I mean something in this world. Just minutes ago I called myself a hobo. It's unbelievable what a little makeup can do and or the natural essence another person brings out of you. 

"Downstairs in the cafe. I'll wait for you by the elevator doors," my phone reads. Harry's here?!

"You're at the Hillingdon?"  I write back.

Walking back into the bedroom, I slide on a different pair of black leggings (these have fleece) with a mustard color sweater. The sweater hides my chubby stomach, making me feel more confident than I am. I also have a nervous habit of needing to fidget with something, hence the long sleeves. No one knows what my hands are doing as they twirl inside the thick fabric. Lastly, I slide on my tan ankle boots, grab my purse and shut the door quietly behind me. 

Seriously, how did none of that wake Oliver up? 

"Yes, of course, are you coming?" 

Nervously, I push the down button on the elevator and patiently wait to get inside. My mind is anywhere but in this moment. I'm about to hang out with Harry flipping Styles on the day of my first book signing. My life is literally insane. 

"On my way!"

___

I feel like this isn't the update you were all expecting, but my mind just isn't there tonight. I've started writing the next chapter already though,  so I'll post an update probably in the next day or two. P.S. remember, DON'T BE A SILENT READER. 

Thanks you for coming to my TED TALK. 

Also, p.s.s. for the people worried that Harry isn't a main part of this book, just wait. WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED. A good book takes time! Y'all are seriously going to hate me by the end of this though. I apologize in advance. 

Much love,

Kat