Vorfreude

Chapter 35

Anthony's POV...

"I wish I had better news, but unfortunately it's not like we hoped," the man wearing a large white doctors coat with a neon green stethoscope secured around his neck informs me. Dr. Kent is his name. I've been seeing him on and off for the past 6 months in hopes to figure out an action plan for what is wrong with me and how to cope with it.

The white walls that surround me are iridescent with luminous amounts of light flooding that seem kinda mocking considering this newfound discovery and the darkness it brings. I've been right all along. My biggest fear hasn't just been knocking at my doorstep; it's secretly invited itself in and now has friends coming over to join it.

"So basically this kicks the other treatment options out of the way and I need to prepare myself for what we've planned since the beginning?" I ask him even though I know the answer. He shakes his head and the weariness of concern splatters deeply across his face.

"I'm very sorry, Anthony. I wish I had a better option. You're very fortunate to have such a great support system through this though, therefore that's an upside that most people don't have."

I nod but keep my eyes on the floor. My leg bounces up and down with jitters. The first time I was here, I had Kat. She was all I needed even though I never actively told her what was happening. I don't know how I'm supposed to casually tell her this now. Especially when she's traveling the world and living out her dreams. If I tell her, she's going to put it all on hold for something that could be nothing and I could never live with myself if I was the reason she didn't get everything she deserves in this lifetime. She's fucking talented and it's about time the world sees that.

"You're right," I tell him bringing my gaze up. "I'm very fortunate."

He shifts in his seat. "Let me go and get the paperwork started. Will you be fine here for a minute? I'll be right back."

I nod my head once again and he exits the room.

My mind is vacant but also running with a million thoughts. I pull my phone out of my pocket and the anxious feeling that was coaxing throughout my body calms.

"Hey, you, reminder: I love you," Kat's text message says. "Also who knew Andy could fit 9 oysters in his mouth at one time?! It was against his free will though... oops. Anyways, I tried them. NEVER again. 🤢"

A small chuckle rises from the back of my throat. I can only imagine her reaction. She hates weird foods.

"Plz never try slimy things again unless I'm there to witness the horror on your face. Also, stop trying to kill Andy. We need him. Reminder: I guess I love you too 🙄🙈"

I'm so proud of this woman and I'm failing at showing her that. At least that's how I feel.

So much has changed with us in such a short amount of time, but I can blame that on this thing living inside my head. I can't believe I almost ruined Kat's and my friendship. I'd be lost without her. Just like she'd be lost without me...

I cringe at the god awful things I said to her and the assumptions I made about her. I know that's not her, but the me that was me couldn't find it's way out to shut that other me up.

I'm so fortunate to have the most open-minded and forgiving person as my best friend. That to me is the biggest miracle in life regardless of how the next couple weeks start playing out. I'll tell Kat one day. As I said, there's nothing to worry about so why should I make her worry? Erin's coming home next week which means she can come back to the doctor with me. If things start going downhill, then I'll tell Kat or knowing Erin, she will. As of right now, Kat's living out her best life and I cannot wait to see her thriving to the full amount. I knew from the moment I met her, she was made for greatness. Her journey is just beginning and one day when we're old and gray, sitting in our wheelchairs at the nursing home, we'll look back at all of this and laugh because she's made it and I've made it and we will have made it together.

Dr. Kent pushes back through the glass door with a stack of papers in his right hand. Wow, that wasn't long at all.

"You ready?" He asks, sliding into his seat on the other side of the desk. I lean forward and press my elbows onto the cold wood. 

"Is that a sadistic question?"

Please don't forget to comment if you're liking this story. Y'all inspire each time you do ❤️
-Kat