Words Travel Fast

"I Can't Get Hurt Again."

Nathan was standing in the doorway of the cafte and I watched his eyes dart around until they landed on me an Jay. He started to make gestures to Jay until he noticed me watching him. "I'll be right back, and don't even consider leaving." Jay got up and walked over to Nathan.  I watched them as they were talking outside and Nathan looked angry an upset. Jay kept trying to convince Nathan of something but Nathan didn't look like he was accepting it. They walked back inside after a few minutes and Nathan sat down next to Jay. He mumbled hellos and looked down at the floor. The silence was too loud and it was killing me. Jay started to say something but I wasn't listening. "I can't do this. I'm sorry Jay, I have to leave." I grabbed my stuff, put some money on the table, and walked out. I heard someone running after me. I walked faster and looked back to see Nathan watching me. "Lorrie, wait! Please, can we just talk?" I pretended not to hear him calling but I had to look back. He was looking straight at me so we made contact. He started to say something but he was swarmed by fans. But he never stopped looking at me. The was so much pain and anger in his eyes. Maybe I should talk to him. No I shouldn't we're not even together anymore. I had to look away, I couldn't keep looking at him. I heard Jay come out but I didn't look back this time. "Lorrie, please come back!" I didn't turn around, I could feel all the fans watching me now. I'm so glad I never told Jay about what happened before breakfast. 

Flashback: This scene is inbetween when she wakes up and calls Jay for breakfast.

I had to drop off Nath's boxers at his house, I drove over with the boxers hoping I wouldn't have to have a conversation with anyone. I knocked on the door, but there wasn't an answer. They must be asleep. I opened the door slowly and walked in. I started up the steps towards the bedrooms.I opened the door to Nathan's room thinking he was asleep but he was wide awake. "Oh, sorry Nath, I just came by to drop these off." I said holding out the underwear. He was sitting on the floor his knees hugged to his chest. I noticed beer bottles all over the floor. "It's ok." He looked up and me and gestured me over. I walked over and sat down in front of him. He leaned forwards toward my ear, "I'm sorry"   "Nathan-" He crashed his lips into mine and put his arms around my waist trying to pull me onto him. He smelled and tasted like alcohal. I pulled myself away. I couldn't face this again. He looked at me sadly, he seemed confused. "Nathan, I can't do this again, I can't get hurt again." He nodded and looked at his feet. He started to reach around for bottle. "No Nathan, I can't let you keep drinking."  "But I can't loose you again! I can't live knowing you aren't mine anymore, I couldn't survive knowing you where in someone elses arms. This is what I have now." I've never heard him yell like that. He's never yelled at me like that. "Don't you ever yell at me like that Nathan! And you know that's not all I'm not all you have. You have 4 great mates that support you in all of your desicions and they love you. They're like your brothers Nath. You've got a great manager and Big Kev and Benson. All I had was you. I didn't have that kind of support system. You know about my parents, I don't even have them to help me.You where my support. I loved you Nathan. I left America to be here with you Nath. My only mates where Kelsey and Nareesha but now I won't be seeing them."  I felt the tears slowly building up, but I didn't try to stop them from coming. "I loved you Lorrie! I had everything I could've needed when I was with you. You were my best mate and the best thing that ever happened to me. But now that's gone, because I was an ididot and a bitch to you. Now we're not even friends anymore." I watched as tears fell from his eyes, but he just kept looking at the floor.  "I guess it's official now, now that you've said it. We're not together anymore, we're not even friends. I thought you were different Nathan. I thought you would've responded differently than getting into this kind of thinking. Where's the Nathan I fell in love with? I guess I'm just not good enough for you. I'm not famous enough. Maybe the Nathan I fell in love with wasn't even real. Maybe it's just who I wanted you to be." I tried to stop crying but I couldn't. I can't believe this. It's over. Everything I loved is gone. I should've seen it after I called him about the Twitter thing. He didn't seem like himself on the phone. But I guess I must never have known the real him. I picked up my bag, threw the boxers on his bed and walked out. I could hear him crying down the stairs. But that couldn't get to me. I got into my car and drove away.