Sketch

50 - Emmy

Dedicated to PurpleSquidney101!

"Ooh, so that's him."

Alex's hand catches the lid of the laptop before I can slam it shut.  I roll my eyes, which don't feel as swollen and sore as they did this morning.  My mind's still on Sam though and the temptation to check up on the band page when Alex left her laptop unattended was too much for me.

"Samuel Merrick."

My heart thuds at the sound of his name.

"He's cute."

I bite my lip, suppressing a sad smile, and nod.  "Yeah."

Alex seems to realise her mistake, her eyes narrowing and her smile pinching.  "Yeah, well, his loss."  She squeezes my shoulder and walks around from behind the sofa so she can sit back down next to me.  I watch as she opens and closes her mouth, fighting with herself.

"Just say it."

She smiles.  "He doesn't look like the kind of guy to mean the words he said."

"Then why'd he say them?"  It's a genuine question that I want the answer to.  I mean, if Sam didn't mean them, then why did he say them in the first place?

"How many times have you said things you don't mean?"

Hundreds.  "But I've never told someone they were a mistake."

"What about the time you told my mum her dress was ugly?"

My eyes go round at the memory.  "That had been an accident."

"And you told Jason Marks that I liked him, even though I told you not to."

"Yeah."  I feel a real smile tugging on my lips.  "But I thought you'd be cute together."

"Too bad I liked Jason Homes and not Jason Marks, huh?"

I snigger. "Just a little misunderstanding.  Besides, you do it too."

Alex nods and the hair piled on her head wobbles.  "Oh, yeah.  Remember the time when we both were saying how all the essays we were getting in English were stupid and  Mrs MacAndrew's heard us?"

"Her face!" I exclaim, remembering the evil look she'd given us.

"Yeah.  That was embarrassing."

"And an accident."

"A misunderstanding," Alex says, her tone implying a meaning I wasn't allowed to ignore.  "A mistake."

I shake my head, my smile fading.  "He called me a mistake.  How can you call someone  a mistake and not mean it?"

"Maybe it came out wrong.  You know, like he meant to say something else but the moment got heated or tense and he panicked."

I think her words over.  Sam does strike me as the type to get easily worked up.  I'm so chill and he's a little tightly wound.  He's so serious.  I shrug.  "I don't think so."

"Well I do," she says, bumping shoulders with me to make me look up from my hands.  Her eyes are warm and friendly again, her expression open and honest.

I lean in to hug her.  "I've missed you."

"Yeah, and I've missed you too.  But stop changing the subject."

I roll my eyes with a guilty shrug.  "I'm not.  I want to believe that you're right, but he hasn't even tried to talk to me since.  He didn't run after me like the guys do in all the romance films."

"That's because this is real life," Alex replies.  "Maybe it took him a while to realise he'd messed up.  Guys aren't as smart as us girls."  I manage a smile.  "Besides, maybe he got distracted by your killer looks and wide blue eyes."

I hit her arm.  "Doubt it."

"You said you thought he loved you, right?"

The words tug at my heart, making my chest ache again, but I nod anyway.

"Well then, maybe he saw your face the way everyone but you sees it, and he forgot what he was supposed to say and all the wrong things came tumbling out.  Sometimes when I try too hard at something to make it perfect, it all goes wrong."

It's difficult to think that I survived two whole months without Alex by my side.  She's so smart and pretty and funny that I don't know how I've made it without her.  You've had Sam.

"So, do you reckon I could be at least the tiniest bit right?"

I tap my teeth, a habit everyone but Alex hates.  "Maybe."

"Good," she says with a resolute nod.  "My job as best friend is done.  Now let me look at the rest of the band pics."

I smile and shift the laptop in my lap so she can see.  She's scrolling down the page when my phone rings.  She looks up at me as a nervous expression falls over my face.  Butterflies attack my insides and I take a deep breath as I move to look at the caller ID.  Ollie.  I frown, hesitate, and then press accept.

"Hello?"

I hear a breath being let out on the other end. "Emmy.  Hey."

I fidget in my seat.  Ollie's voice sounds so familiar, so like Sam's.  It makes me feel uncomfortable.  "Hey."

"Uh, I just wanted to call to make sure you're okay."

I close my eyes.  It was obvious that Ollie and Vince would know what happened, I ran out of the flat after all, but still, it's embarrassing.  I ran off.  Who does that?

"Emmy?

I open my eyes, realising I haven't answered his question.  Alex offers me a reassuring smile.  "Yeah, I'm not bad.  Could be better."

Ollie lets out a humourless laugh.  "Right."

A silence hangs then as Ollie tries to think of something to say that won't bring up Sam and won't make me feel bad.  At least that's what I'm hoping he'll come up with.

"Where are you?"

I bite my lip. "A friends."

"Alex's house?"

I start a little, proud that he remembered the only conversation where I mentioned Alex.  "Yeah.  Her uni flat."  Alex puts a hand on my arm.  "She's looking after me."  I cringe at my words.  I'm making myself sound like a weak girl.  "I mean. Yeah."

"Okay.  Do you want me to come pick you up?  Tanya wants to talk to us all."

The thought of being in a room with Sam makes my heart thud hard and I find myself shaking my head.  "Uh, I don't know."

I can sense Ollie's hesitation.  "Sam's out."

"Oh."

"He's feeling a little wounded.  He's angry at himself for what he said.  He didn't mean any of it, you know."

I clutch at my middle, Ollie's words sending off a little surge of hope inside of me.  I still need to hear it from Sam though.  "Okay."

"So can I come pick you up?"

I look to Alex.  She smiles and squeezes my arm.  "I think I need some time to think."

There's a short pause and I think I can hear Tanya's voice.  "Alright.  Will you let Tanya come see you in a couple of days?"

I breathe out deeply.  I know that Tanya's almost like a mother figure to Sam.  Maybe if I tell her how I'm feeling she can relay it to him.  I nod.  "Okay.  I'll text you the address tomorrow."

"Thanks, Emmy."  I can hear the smile in his voice.  "I know Sam's desperate to see you.  He's beating himself up so bad over this."

I hear Vince saying something about how Sam should and I manage a tiny smile.

"Thanks, Ollie."

"No problem.  We'll speak soon, yeah?"

"Yeah.  I'm not quite done with Sketch yet."

As for Sam, I'll have to wait and see.