Adopted by One Direction

All POVs: Chapter 45

➡Louis' POV: August 11, Thursday:

I sit on the cliff beside El, her head snuggled into the crook of my neck. I lean mine down on top of hers and sigh.

It's such a beautiful day. Why does it have to be so sad?

It's been two years since Lily's adoption on this very day. It's been two long hard years. She would have been turning nine this year, in about a month and a few days.

Well, to be completely honest, she would have turned nine on September 25, so in about a month and fourteen days.

I know that because it's also her death date.

I choke and start to cough violently, pretending the tears running down my face are from my coughing-which has long stopped and now I'm faking. I feel like I'm letting her down worse than I've already done. I feel like she wouldn't want me crying over her.

"Louis, are you okay?" El asks me worriedly.

I nod as she pats my back, thinking I'm choking on something. Then she hugs me and whispers, "It's going to get easier," and I know she realised that I'm actually crying.

I shake my head and wipe away the tears on my face. "When?" I croak.

El smiles sadly at me and just murmurs, "Soon."

I sniff and whisper out in a broken voice, "We never even got to celebrate a birthday with her."

"Louis," she mumbles against my shoulder because she's started crying now. I can feel it soaking through my t-shirt I'm wearing.

"And we never even got to celebrate a Christmas with her. Or go out, just me and her and have a father-daughter day," I say fiercely, angry at myself. I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach; the one where you just can't take anything anymore and need to scream. Tears are tracking down my face and I wipe them away furiously. I'm standing now and I spin and face El. "I promised her! I promised her that I would take her on a day, just us. I promised her I would always protect her!" I scream the last sentence and fling myself on the ground, dangerously close to the edge of the cliff.

"Louis!" El gasps when I fall to the ground, thinking I jumped.

"What?" I ask bitterly. I so badly want to, to just release myself.

She crawls to me and wraps her small arms around me. Somewhere, wherever the lads are, they're acting the same way. I know it. I can sense it.

"Louis, please stop. You're scaring everyone, especially me," El cries, her voice frail and helpless. The voice of someone who doesn't know how to help.

I realise her shoulders are shaking and realise how stressful this must be for her; worried about me every second of the day, not knowing what I'm going to do. Not knowing what her last words to me could be.

I turn and kiss her passionately. She responds and we stay like that; her at my shoulder, arms wrapped around my neck, me with my neck craned. Our lips connect and burn with a fierce intensity, something only a husband and wife and feel. We share a bond like no boyfriend and girlfriend. We share the bond of marriage.

It starts to rain, and I sigh and disconnect our lips. "Eleanor," I start.

"Louis," she breathes, interrupting me. She's looking past me, her eyes filling with tears.

I turn and look, and it's my turn to start crying.

(Who thinks it's Lily?)

It's a little girl holding hands with man and woman, all three of them looking at each other with so much love that it's obvious they're a perfect family. They laugh and swing the little girl between them, never ever letting go of her hands.