use somebody // harry styles au

Chapter 31

RECAP: Jenna and Harry have broken up, Harry is sort of dating Nikki, the girl from the party and Jenna is spending time with Cindy and Alyssa.

LISTEN TO WHILE READING:

ariana grande - a little bit of your heart

"i can't even think straight but i can tell
that you were just with her
and i'll still be a fool, i'm a fool for you"

wiz khalifa - promises

"so don’t let me down
you made those promises
don’t take em back now
don’t let me down"

JENNA'S POV

There's this one point in life, when you feel like nothing even matters, like you're just alone in this big big world, when nobody hears your scream. I feel like I'm on that point of my life. And that's because I'm at the moment looking at the one who caused all this sadness in my life right now.

1 hour ago

I got out of my car and was walking towards the doctor's office, when something caught my eye across the road, walking hand-in-hand. He wasn't happy, he didn't smile, like the girl did, but he was peaceful, he didn't look mad either. I felt my stomach turn, like the baby had felt it too, and I tried holding a sob.

He turned his head at my direction, and I know he saw me. I could feel his green emeralds burning through my soul, just like they used to. He stopped walking, and the girl looked curiously around her, trying to figure out what was happening. Harry took a few steps towards the road between us, but I just shook my head.

I got back into my car before he could see the tears in my eyes and drove off, leaving a confused Harry and his new girlfriend behind me.

HARRY'S POV

"Babe, what are you looking at?" Nikki giggled, and it nearly made me puke. I didn't answer to her, instead I shook my hand off of hers and stared at the reason why my life is as shitty as it is now. Well, the reason is of course me, myself and I, but the true reason was the one who was missing from my shitty life. She just stared back at me, and I couldn't help but take a few steps towards her, I needed to talk to her.

But she was hurt. Even across the wide road I could see the hurt I've caused and she just shook her head, getting back to her car and driving away from me. And it crushed my heart into million pieces, once again.

I would do anything, literally anything for her. I would take a bullet for her, I would walk across the world if she was in danger. But one thing, one fucking simple thing I couldn't do, was being a perfect boyfriend, the kind of she deserved. And that's what caused me to be in this shitty situation I am right now. Watching as she drove away from me, leaving me with this stupid girl I'm not even in love with, nor will I ever be.

"I'll meet you at my place, here, take my keys" I told Nikki, grabbing my keys from my pocket and giving them to her. She just looked at me with a frown on her pretty face but I shook my head, no questions please.

I left Nikki standing at the sidewalk, grabbing the first taxi I saw. The driver had to do an emergency break when I jumped in front of it and ran to the backseat. I told the angry driver the address and he began driving. It was nearly a half an hour drive to our.. her place so I told him to drive as fast as he could.

JENNA'S POV

After an emotional, long drive back home I just laid on the couch and stared at the ceiling. So, this was it. He has finally moved on, and I'm still here, alone, waiting for our child to come into this world. I'm not sure, if I even should call this our child, probably my child would be better, it's not like he has been interested in my condition or the baby after our break-up, and now I definitely saw the reason. He's been busy with his new girlfriend.

Thinking like this caused me a headache, but it got even worse when I heard rapid knocks from the door. Cindy and Alyssa had their own keys, so I only can wonder who it can be.

I walked to the door slowly, opening it and letting out a sigh after I saw who was behind it. A tear escaped from my eye again and I had to bite my lip to prevent some more escaping.

"Please, listen to me"

I just stared at him quietly, taking a step to the side to let him in. He walked cautiously, taking in the small changes I've made and he run his fingers through his hair, just like always when he was nervous or frustrated.

I walked to the living room, sitting on the couch and watching as he sat next to me, keeping an eye contact all the time.

"She means nothing to me" he blurted out and I just looked at him calmly, nodding.

"Okay."

"Okay? Jenna, I need you in my life, I can't fucking live without you. It's like hell" he said, his voice breaking in the end.

I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment, I did not see this coming, but I sure as hell didn't know why I let him in. It's not like I didn't guess that something like this was coming.

"So? It's not like my life is easy right now, carrying this little child inside of me, when the father of the child is out there fucking and doing god knows what. I was lying here everyday all-day long, wondering how your life is right now, but apparently your life is going great right now" I smiled coldly and held my tears. I didn't want him to see me break down, not in front of him, not anymore

It's like a flash of anger went through his eyes, but he contained himself and took a long breath. "I haven't had sex with her, even kissing her makes me crazy, because it's not you. I've been trying to work a little, just to pay off rent and yeah, she's been.. Uh, well she's been just hanging around I guess, so I'm not all alone with my thoughts, but I definitely know how mean I am to her, just because she's not you" Harry told me calmly and I bit my lip. I guess I was more than happy to know they hadn't had sex. Well, not yet at least.

There's this one point in life, when you feel like nothing even matters, like you're just alone in this big big world, when nobody hears you scream. I feel like I'm in that point on life. And that's because I'm at the moment looking at the one who caused all this sadness in my life right now.

"That doesn't change anything, you know? You coming in here and pouring your heart out just after I found out you had a new girlfriend. Just because you miss me, doesn't mean I can forgive you what happened and take you back. You can meet your child anytime you want but that's the only contact I will ever have with you anymore. So please, leave"

It was hard to say it. No, wait, it was more than hard, it crushed my heart into million pieces, but a part of it was true. I lied about forgiving him. I forgave him a long time ago, but I wasn't ready to take him back. But I was speaking truth when I said I wanted him to meet this kid anytime he wanted, I want this baby to have all love she or he can get. And I know for a fact that we both love, and will love this baby with our full hearts, more than anything. At one point we loved eachother like that, more than anything and with full hearts. I sure still do, but Harry, having a new girlfriend and all, apparently doesn't.

He looked at me sadly, like he was on the verge of tears, but quietly stood up and I took a last glance on the heartbroken, green emeralds I loved, before he was gone.

{so sad ohmygodddd i know it took longer than expected and i know for a fact that i'm crying at the moment but please comment and let me know your feelings and feedback i love you so much i can't even explain}