Jamie (boyxboy)

1 - goodbye

If I could use three words to describe what I am feeling, it would be these: what the fuck.

Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, let me explain.

All my life I have known nothing but the foster system and how it works. It isn't rocket science. The cute babies are first to go. Which always leaves the kids between 12 and 17 stuck here.

I only have a few more years until I am 18. I have given up on the thought of a family.

Imagine having no doubt in your mind that nobody wants you. Sad but realistic, right? Now imagine my reaction when I was told a family is taking me in. Exactly my point.

Out of everything whirring in my head, this never crossed my mind. So, at this moment I just allow my eyebrows to shoot upward and my eyes to narrow. This lady has to be kidding.

But I didn't dare open my mouth. Instead, I let the silence suffocate me. The room would be nice if it weren't for the towers of files everywhere. Not that the hard wooden chair beneath my ass is doing much to help my positive outlook.

Despite my disbelief, the ancient woman in front of me opens her mouth again. I strain to listen to her scratchy voice as she attempts to "console" me.

"I know you aren't fond of the idea, but you should give it a chance. It is a really good household. A big house not too far from a nice school... This is a good chance for you. You are lucky," The woman attempts to smile at me, but only ends up looking like she is in great pain.

"Look, I know you are trying to help me have a better life etcetera etcetera, but I am old enough to take care of myself. They can't be that special," I crossed my barely muscular arms.

The truth is I have no clue how to take care of myself. I might talk big, but the headmistress knows just as well as I, it is far from true.

"Jamie," She let out a sigh that sounds exhausted and so worn out. I almost expect dust to escape her mouth, "Give it a chance."

Her dull eyes meet mine behind big ladybug print glasses. I take a moment to really look at her. Frizzy hair so gray it is practically white, skin like crushed and rolled up paper. It legitimately looks like us kids walk all over her. The fact that her floral print dress is wrinkled to the point of no return adds onto her look.

Tossing the idea around for a minute I finally let up a bit, breathing in slowly, "Can you tell me more about them first?"

Maybe knowing more about them will put my racing mind at ease. Trust isn't my strong suit, to say the least.

"Well, they are a married couple with children," She pauses but doesn't continue.

Holy shit.

I didn't even think of them having kids.

Before I can react, an image appears in my brain. What if they don't like me? I am invading their home and personal space. Goosebumps race up my skin and my stomach churns.

"Why-"

The woman holds her thin hand up, cutting me off. I hate being shut up, it only makes me want to talk more than before.

"Jamie, the couple is not like most foster parents. I think this is your best bet at a family," I give an exaggerated roll of my eyes at the last part, more like my only bet, "Do you want to go with them, Jaime?"

I feel cotton starting to grow in my throat after she puts me on the spot. Do I really need a family that bad? The surface answer is no, but the honest answer? Probably.

Maybe it isn't so bad. If they couldn't bring in another kid why would they?

"I need time to think about it. Is that okay?"