Wings

July 23, 2013- The Viewing

Four days after his death, the Bretter family finally decided to delay the inevitable. The funeral. Every inch of me was numb. I hadn't stopped crying since the officers showed up, and hardly moved out of bed. I forced myself to get out of my house, putting on a black, lace dress with long sleeves. I somehow managed to curl my hair, but didn't put on lots of eyeliner. It had been my boyfriend's dying wish, and I would respect that. Zach came with, in his black funeral suit. Our parents had planned on coming, but my father had to go out of town for an office retreat, bringing my mother with him. We were on our own, two children sent where no children should ever have to go.

He was to be buried next to Danny, so the funeral was at the same chapel. I knew that the funeral would be hardest on Lindsay, Laura, and me. Lindsay had found the body. Apparently he was still barely alive, but had died shortly after. I didn't have the guts to ask her. It wasn't something I needed to hear either.

We arrived at the chapel early for the viewing, and to spend extra time with the Bretters. Snippets of an old song flashed in my head, "Going to the chapel, and we're gonna get married, going to the chapel of love." But we weren't getting married, and this was not a place of love. This was my boyfriend's funeral, and I wasn't ready for any of this.

We parked the car and slowly made our way to the door. It was slightly ajar, but I couldn't move. My gaze was simply fixed on the stained glass against the pale white doors. Zach stepped forward, pulling me into him.

After several minutes, he whispered into my hair, "Come on, Syd. It's time."I nodded, and we entered the church.

Compared to the bright July morning, everything was momentarily dark. The inside was beautiful however, filled with with flowers. Adam hated flowers in houses. He said they reminded him of death. I almost wanted to tell someone to take them down, but that was why we were here. Because now Adam was death.

Lindsay Bretter walked up to me, her eyes puffy and red. She was crying, but still somehow had a smile on her face. I instantly burst into tears. We embraced for what seemed like forever, crying our hearts out. Finally, she pulled away, wiping a tear from my cheek.

"It's gonna be a long day, Syd," she sighed. "You've just got to put on a brave face and get through it." She patted my arm, then held my hand, leading me to a large room where the rest of the family and close friends sat. There were so many people that I didn't know, unfamiliar faces, but I could still pick out who were Bretters. The dark hair, the jawlines, the big eyes. It wasn't hard to see. Laura was standing off to the side, speaking to a woman who must have been her sister. She looked up at Lindsay and me, and excused herself from the conversation.

Laura walked over to me, pulling me into a hug. I hugged her back, feeling all of the woman's pain as I did so. She pulled back, attempting to give me a small smile. "You know, that boy was so in love with you. He talked about you nonstop."

I nodded. "I know. And I loved him too."

Laura squeezed my hand, and Lindsay began introducing me to her relatives. The conversations were all the same. "Oh, you're very pretty," "Oh, it's so terrible," "Oh, you two must have really loved each other." On, and on, and on, the same string of words, numbing my senses even more. I could hardly think by then. A soft hand tapped my shoulder, and I turned around.

The girl had soft blonde hair, a round face, and distinguished features. Her eyebrows were sharp and arched, with small yet full lips. She appeared almost angelic. She wore a black dress, not a new sight to me at a funeral, and had a small clutch in her hands like I did. The girl attempted to smile, then spoke. "Sydney? My name's Beth." I had known this subconsciously. I had seen many pictures of her, but nothing had clicked.