no name girlxgirl (COMPLETED)

Wow

"Wow," was all I could say to her after everything.

No, we didn't have mind blowing sex. Everything I knew about Tara and her feelings for me was wrong. She looks at me, still drying her tears and chuckles.

"Yeah, you tell me. You're the one who made me fall for you," she finally smiled after a while.

Taking a deep breath, my mind brings me back to the memories of us.

"But-but... you were..." I trailed off, feeling quite sad at this bit of memory.

"I what?" she asked softly as if her voice could break me.

"I thought I was just your sex toy..." I said solemnly.

"Okay, this will sound awful but it's the truth. I had to say that so I'd have you by my side. After Rebel kissed you, I just couldn't handle it; seeing you with someone else. I thought if I ignored you when school started, you wouldn't get dragged into my horrible world. But I was selfish. I still dragged you down because of my jealousy," she confessed with remorse in her voice.

Wow, that kinda hurts.

"But it's also because I love you. I just- couldn't stay away..." she ducked her head, slightly embarrassed.

Well, that surely turned things around. I could feel my own cheeks heating up. After letting the overwhelming calms down, I decide to shoot her some more questions.

"What about when I sang you that song?" I asked without looking at her.

It surely was one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. Opening up your feelings in public and professing your deep love for someone who might not even love me back then was scary. And the reaction I got from her after that was a bit confusing. But it still hurt me cause I failed to reach out to her like I thought I could. I can see her looking at me but it isn't an intense glare. It's rather soft. It makes me slightly embarrassing but not in a bad way. From the corner of my eyes, I can't make up what kind of face she is pulling so I reluctantly look her way. She has a shy grin accompanied by loving eyes. That is what I'm seeing right now. To be frank, this is too much for me to handle.

"That was certainly the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me. I know I showed no emotion when you finished that song but I was really happy. It was hard, like really hard for me to not smile and get all teared up there and then. But I did so afterwards when I was all alone in the bathroom. It was kind of relieving because then I knew that our feelings were mutual..." she admitted shyly.

I stare at her disbelieving this is the reality. I never thought I'd live to see the day Tara Cooper get all shy on me. Wow. Wow. That feels good. To know that the person that you love happens to love you back is a great feeling. It feels like half of the burdens and sorrow I once I had was lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I could breathe. But that doesn't mean I've forgotten the pain that came with it. I have a lot of questions in my mind like if she truly loves me, then why did she choose to treat me like I didn't matter? Am I not important to her? If I am, then why did she choose her popularity over me? If she loves me, then why did she do everything that made me feel unloved? Why did she put me in that situation? Why? But the two most important questions of them all are...

"What do I mean to you?" I asked her, catching her off guard.

"Everything. You mean everything to me," she answered without hesitation.

"If I mean that much, then why did you purposely hurt me? Because how do I know that you wouldn't do that to me again? Can you imagine loving someone so much, so so god damn much, and you can still do what you did without second thoughts?"