no name girlxgirl (COMPLETED)

You

"Behind every flinch is a fear or an anxiety - sometimes rational, sometimes not. Without the fear, there is no flinch. But wiping out the fear isn't what's important - facing it is." 

Those were my therapist's words before she left school. We had a talk; it was short but good enough. She set aside her professionalism and said she's gonna act as a friend to me. The thing she asked me was, "Do you want to keep running? Coz it seems your past is catching up to you. Or do you stop and face your fears?"

        I told her I didn't have the guts. So she said, "Behind every flinch is a fear or an anxiety - sometimes rational, sometimes not. Without the fear, there is no flinch. But wiping out the fear isn't what's important - facing it is." Then the Principal came out with a good news; that Michael and his buddies would not be allowed on the school ground. They've notified the school. Jenna threw me the news that Anti Bullying Policy has been immediately effective on me. Maya, who was there when all news came down on me, volunteered. I told her no but she insisted. So here I am, at the door to the Big Auditorium where the Opening Ceremony would be held. 

"Hey, you okay?" Maya asked me softly.

        Let's be honest, who's okay with all of these. The bullies, half the people who have made your life a living hell are here at your school and there's no escaping them. Trying to avoid them would be futile. Maybe this is fated. Everything is. I knew this day would come but I never thought it would come soon enough. Still, I can't shake this loud drums in my chest. It's beating so loud I can hear it echoes in my ears. Even my ear drums can feel the vibrations. That's how hard it is. That's how scared I am. I look at my palms and I notice they grow cold and are trembling. It is slightly difficult to breathe right now. Then i feel warm and soft hand in my right.

"10 years from now I'm gonna look back at this moment and wondered if I had any guts to walk through the door and face my fear, am I?" 

"It really is now or never. If you don't start to be brave now, you will never earn the courage," Maya replied.

"But you're not alone," Violet suddenly appeared on my left. 

"Yeah, you have friends here. And this is your school. No one can come here and threaten your safety. You can never allow that," Jenna squeezed my shoulders from the back. 

        I don't what I did right to have such good friends at time when I need them the most. Looking at the three of them, their faces will forever be engraved in my heart. I will remember this. Jude told me that the school would be discreet in watching over me but she said they gave the words that I will never be alone. Jenna told me I wouldn't know exactly who would be on the Watch Team (that's what they're called) because they'd keep a good distance from me. They've been warned about Tara and her minions. Then, as per usual, Maya pecked my cheek.

"Kiss good luck!" that was totally an excuse. 

        Breathing in to slow down my fast heart rate, I let go of their hands and open the door. Here goes nothing.

                                                                                        ***

Could the Principal be a liar? I'm not accusing anything but so far, I can't really tell if people are watching over me besides Jenna, Violet and Maya. Or maybe...they're just so good at keeping their distance I wouldn't notice. Anyways, let's get back to the main point here.

Luckily enough, I didn't see Tara or bump into her evil minions yesterday at the auditorium. That's good news. Well, I'm not saying I am chickening out (is that even a word?) on my mission to face my fear. But a bit more time sounds good. You know it's like when you're in class and you're waiting for your turn to present something and your turn gets delayed and sometimes you feel a bit relieved? Yeah, that's what I think. But I also know that the more I prolong it, the more I would chicken out. It's like what people say, let's get this over with bitches. I don't know, I contemplate a lot so I can't really make up my mind whether this is a good thing or not.