Eloise’s POV
I’d decided how to solve my problem, I was taking the easy way out. I was done fighting, I was giving up.
I logged out of Twitter without a trace, knowing now to not say anything suspicious. I don’t want anyone to stop me. I left my laptop on my bed, and turned on my playlist of my all time favorite songs. I wanted to listen to them one last time.
I walked over to my dresser, and threw all of my nice clothes into a garbage bag, and labeled it “Rosie”. I’d let her have these, although Harry would probably buy her whatever new clothes she wanted. I believed Harry would appreciate the thought. I threw all the rest of the clothes into another bag, and threw them out into the hallway.
I decided I’d write the boys a note, let them know why I chose to do this. So, I grabbed a pen, and a pad of paper and began writing:
Dear Zayn, Liam, Niall, Louis and Harry,
I know write now, I won’t be here anymore. I’ll be long gone. I’m just writing you this letter to let you know this isn’t your fault. Any of you. You’re all such great boys, so kind, loving and caring. You could never have lead me to do this, and I know you wouldn’t be able to stop me either. As you know, I had previously planned to end my life, but I was saved. I first believed that it was some stranger named Will, then it was Louis, and eventually it turned out to be Niall. So whoever it was, I thank you. It would’ve ended up this way in the end, and I don’t want any of you to feel guilty about this. You couldn’t have saved me. I want you all to forget about me. Try as hard as you can, and do whatever it takes. I want you to move on. Don’t remember me. I have something to say to all of you, and I don’t think I would’ve been able to face you and say this so, here it goes.
Zayn~ I wanted to thank you for being there for me when I needed someone to talk to, to cry to, someone to always be there for me. For these past months, you’ve been the best friend anyone could ask for. Truthfully, you’ve changed my life a lot, and I thank you for that. So, thanks Zayn, for being there.
Liam~ I know we never really got to know each other too well, but I know that I could’ve trusted you with anything. You were there for me when I needed a friend, and you’re always there for the boys. You’re so sweet and so caring that I know one day you’ll go far. I know it. I wish we could’ve got to know each other more...thanks for being a friend.
Niall~ Alright. First off, thank you for saving my life. It was the kindest and most caring thing that anyone has ever done for me. And I appreciate that so much. I wish that you didn’t feel the way you did for me, it would’ve saved you a lot of pain and heart ache. I thank you for deciding to not be with me, because I know we’d both end up hurt in the end, and I wouldn’t want that, for either of us. You’ll find your girl one day, and you’ll be much better than we would’ve been. Thank you again for saving me, good luck.
Louis~ I know you might not even want to read this letter right now, because I have been such a bitch to you. But I’ve realized that maybe we just weren’t meant to be together. Eleanor is probably better for you than I am. She’d treat you better than I have, she’d love you the way you should be loved. Because I can’t do that...it’s too late now. I’ve blown our chances. I want you to know that before all the drama, you were a great guy, and I wish I would’ve noticed that earlier. You’re so funny, nice and caring and I wish that we could’ve stayed friends. Regardless of all the drama, I love you Louis. Not entirely in a romantic way, but I do. Be with Eleanor, be happy, live life.
Harry~ Right now, I’m just going to start off by saying how sorry I am for leaving you. So soon. I know it’s going to be hard, but you will get through this Harry. I know you will. You’re strong. You’ve been through so much already, and I know that you can get through this. You’re better off without me Harry, I’ve caused you so much trouble, and you’d just be happier without me. All of you will be. I’ll let you go through my things, I’d like you to give some things to Rosie. My jewelry, the clothes I’ve left her, and anything else you feel would be necessary. I’m sorry I lost our baby, I’m sorry that I’ve caused you so much pain, and I need you to move on. You’ll find your perfect girl one day, because I know that it’s not me. You’ll find her, I promise.
I love you boys, I’m sorry you had to have me screw up your lives. I should’ve never answered you, Niall. I’ve wasted your time, and I’m sorry. But you won’t have to worry anymore. I’ll be gone. Forever. Goodbye, and good luck. I’ll take care of you from above.
Sincerely,
Eloise Cooper.
I placed the note next to me on the bed and grabbed the bottle of pills I’d planned to take. I popped them in my mouth counting up, one at a time.
One...
Two...
Three...
Four...
Five...
Six...
Seven...
Eight...
Nine...
Ten...
Eleven...
Twelve...
Thirteen...
Fourteen...
Fifteen...
Sixteen...
Seventeen...
Eighteen...
Nineteen...
Twenty...
I could feel myself getting more drowsy each minute.
This was it, I was going. Forever.
I’d never felt happier...
I could hear the music playing behind me,
I, I wanna save you, save you, save you tonight...
Up, up, and away,
I’ll take you with me,
Up, up and away,
I’ll take you with me...
I felt my eyes shut for the last time. Fading into the blackness, gone.
***********************
Harry was the first one to find my body. The next day, 2:00pm, he had decided to stop over after not being able to reach me. Panicking, he called the rest of the boys, along with the police. They sat and wept, each taking a turn to read the letter. They stayed in my apartment that night, going through my belongings, reminiscing on the time we had spent together, the good times, the bad times. They’d planned a funeral service for me. Many fans showed up, showing their sympathy for the boys. I was buried alongside Jack and Caroline. They would come and visit me occasionally, whenever possible. They started coming less and less, until never at all. They’d moved on, just like I’d asked. I’d never felt better. I was finally happy.
A/N: I just want to thank all of you so much for reading this. I hope you liked it, and I thank you for your support!
