Chapter 4:
I was startled out of my sleep by my phone’s alarm, waking me up to go to school. I hoped out of bed and sleepily walked over to the bathroom, and into the warm shower. I kept the lights off, a ritual of mine while I shower. I washed my long hair, conditioned it and shaved. I then turned the water to cold, a part of my shower routine. I like the cold water enveloping my skin, it wakes me up and I feel truly refreshed rather than hot and groggy.
I got out of the shower after a few more minutes and walked into my room. I picked out the clothes that I was going to wear, as it was fall and pretty cold so I decided on something warm. I picked out a creme wool sweater, some gray skinny jeans, and my black Vans. I wore my Vans all the time, I’m a sneakers girl, I have my Vans, Converse and Supras and I wear them everywhere. I put on some foundation to cover my minor blemishes and put a coat of mascara and ran some eyeliner on my eyes. I put some cream in my hair to keep it from turning into an afro, just not in the mood to straighten it today.
I headed downstairs, school bag in tow, and headed out the door and down the street to the bus stop. As I waited for my bus to come along, I pulled out my iPod and put my headphones in and hit shuffle. “Must Be The Music” by The Summer Set came on and I was peacefully listening to one of my old favorite songs. By the time the bus came I was in the middle of “Gotta Be You” by One Direction, and I got on the bus and sat down in the middle of the bus alone. Emily was the next stop, and she gave me this smile, to act as if she wasn’t the one sending me all those texts. She’s too stupid to think that I know it’s her sending me them, and when I gave her the finger, she looked shocked and that nice face she had on? It changed right into a look of pure bitchiness as she whispered “whore” and walked to the back of the bus to sit with her new friends.
When we arrived at school, I walked down the corridor getting looks from everyone. What was that all about? I shrugged it off and continued walking until I got to English class. I sat down in my assigned seat, which was next to Justin. Greaaaaaaaaaaaaat! Justin walked in just in time as the bell rung, and he sat down next to me. He looked over, sighed and looked away. He looked guilty, and he looked upset, but who the hell cares? He raped me for Christ’s sake!
Our teacher handed out a review packet for us, and topics which our midterm test would hold.
“Get started on this now kids, whatever you don’t finish, it’s due for tomorrow’s class!!” she shouted as she walked out of the room. She always just hands stuff out to us and leaves for half the period, but I’m not complaining.
I decided I would get started on the packet, as I had nothing to do, and no one to talk to. I was diligently working on my packet for the rest of class, listening to other people’s conversations because they were talking waaaayy too loud.
“Oh my god. Guys, did you hear about Eloise? I heard she slept with like 5 guys just this weekend!!”
“Yeah, I heard 7, but I wouldn’t be surprised either way. She’s always been a whore you know?”
“Psh. She’s been like that since she was in Primary, she probably has so many STD’s and such. BLEGH.”
Justin finally spoke up, “I never liked her, I felt bad because she’s such a whore and I must’ve been high when we were going out. She was always coming onto me at such inappropriate times. Once a slapper, always a slapper. You know?”
There was a chorus of laughter and high fives sent around the group and this is where I was on the edge of breaking down. I know that I shouldn’t let this stuff get to me, but I just can’t help it. The constant teasing, name calling, the messages. It’s too much for me to handle. I’m on the edge of losing it, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do this on my own.
