Be My Superman (A Louis Tomlinson Fan Fiction)

Chapter 31

Joslynn's POV

When Harry and I got back last night, the boys, aside from Louis, had gone back to their flats. It's weird, because I tend to forget Louis, Harry and I are the only ones who live here, despite the fact the boys are constantly over. After Harry and I finished our dinner at the café last night, we came back and decided to watch a few movies, and we both eventually fell asleep on the couch.

It was now 9:00 AM, and I had just woken up. Harry had fallen asleep with his legs curled up and his head resting on my shoulder. I shrugged his head off my shoulder, not really bothering to be careful. His body just fell onto the couch and he remained to sleep peacefully.

I sat up straight, looking ahead at the TV that was now turned off. I probably looked utterly exhausted, because I sure as hell felt like it. After a minute of me just sitting there, I heard a door open from behind me. I turned around to see a tired Louis walking Margaux out of his room and to the front door. He kissed her before telling her that he'll call her later, and she then left the flat.

Louis had noticed I had turned to look at him. He then saw that I had just woken up, and Harry was still sleeping beside me. "Did you and Harry fall asleep on the couch?" he questioned.

I tiredly replied, "Yeah, we came back from dinner last night and decided to watch some movies, but we fell asleep."

Louis nodded his head, "Yeah, I think Margaux came in and turned the TV off last night. You guys had fallen asleep and it was pretty loud..."

"Sorry to be a bother," I muttered, getting up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen.

Louis closed his eyes and sighed. "I didn't mean it like that, Josie." 

"No, really, it's fine. We shouldn't have left it on," I replied, already annoyed with him. At this point, Louis doesn't even have to say anything and I'll still feel annoyed with him. It's pretty bad.

Louis sighed, not saying anything, getting the hint to drop the subject. I began to search the refrigerator for food, but I came to no avail. There was little food left, as expected considering we hadn't gone shopping in over a week.

"We're out of food," I simply said, closing the fridge. I walked over and plopped down in a seat at the kitchen counter, sighing. I was tired and hungry, to say the least.

"I can go out to the shops and pick up some groceries, if you'd like," Louis said.

"You'll be recognized and attacked and then my cookies will never make it home," I replied.

"Who said I was buying you cookies?" He asked with an amused expression on his face.

"Me," I simply replied, smirking.

Louis smiled at me, coming to sit next to me. He then rested his head on my shoulder, and after a moment he said, "Josie...I miss you."

"I'm right here, Lou," I replied, stroking his head. I admit, we do have our sweet moments, despite the fact we've been nonstop fighting.

"But it doesn't feel like it," he sighed, lifting his head up. "I feel like we've lost touch, all because of Margaux."

I nodded my head and said, "Margaux would be a big contributor to this problem, yes."

Louis sighed and said, "Josie, you know I'm having a real hard time deciding."

"Louis, if you really wanted to be with me, you would have already done something about it. And you're really not helping your case by letting Margaux come over to have sex every night."

"Just because she comes over doesn't mean we're having sex, Josie," he replied.

"Louis, she comes over at midnight and she's out of here by nine in the morning, and y'all stay cooped up in your room the whole night. I think it's pretty obvious you two aren't playing a friendly game of chess."

Louis sighed and before he could say anything, I snapped at him, "Can you stop with the damn sighing? It's killing my mood."

Louis seemed a bit caught off guard and said, "Sorry...I just...I really don't know what you want me to say, Josie. I've told you that you're just going to have to give me time and some space because I need to sort myself out."

"And sleeping with Margaux is going to help you 'sort yourself out?'" I asked in disbelief. Who the hell does he think he is?

"Josie, this is my life, and you can't tell me what to do with it. I've already told you that I'm sorry and that I'm trying. I know I'm doing an awful job at showing it, and I understand you for being mad at me. I know you've heard this from me at least a million times, but I really don't know what else you want me to do. I know I'm being a really sucky person right now, and I want so badly to fix everything, but every time I move or say something, it makes everything worse!" Louis then proceeded to put his head in his hands; I could tell he was really frustrated.

I sighed, closing my eyes. "I'm sorry," I said. Louis lifted his head up. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It's just a really hard thing for me to have to go through, and that's something you just don't seem to understand. I know you only want to make everyone happy; that's one of the things I love about you. I know you would never intentionally hurt me or anyone else, but right now I'm just really torn up about everything. I don't ever want you to feel as though I hate you, because I don't. I know you're trying, but your efforts could use some improvement. I shouldn't be acting like a bitch, because I know I put you through the same thing. I'm really sorry if I seemingly intentionally hurt you, Louis."

Louis sighed, lifting his head up from his hands. "It's fine, I guess. I shouldn't have snapped at you. You do have every right to say what you did, and I'm sorry."

I then replied, "I think we just need to take a breather, Louis. We need to take a step back, because if we don't, we're only going to end up hurting even more in the end."

Louis nodded his head and said, "I agree. I'm really sorry, Jos."

I offered a small smile and said, "It's okay. We'll work through this-one step at a time."

Louis smiled and then said, "Well, would you like to do something with me today? Margaux has work and-" I cut him off.

"Louis, like I said, we need to take a breather. I think we should just try not to be around each other 24/7, because doing that only adds on more pressure to fix things. Plus, I've already got plans with Zayn and Perrie today, unfortunately."

Louis closed his eyes for a brief moment before opening them again and said, "You're right. We need to take a breather."

I smiled and hugged him. "It's going to be okay, Louis. Though I may be really mad right now and you may still be really conflicted, I still love you no matter what, and we're going to work through this. We just need to take a step back and work on the pieces we need to fix on our own."

By this point, Harry had woken up and come into the kitchen. He didn't hear any of our conversation, though.

"Morning, HarBear," I smiled.

He muffled a "good morning" before coming over and leaning his head on Louis.

Louis laughed a bit and asked, "Ya tired, mate?"

Harry just nodded his head.

"Well, I'm going to go get ready, boys. I'll make Zayn stop to get me breakfast, and you boys can fend for yourselves. I expect food in the fridge when I come home."

"There's no food?" Harry questioned.

"'Fraid not, mate," Louis replied, only to make Harry groan. "It's okay, Harry, we can go and get breakfast, too."

Harry smiled and nodded, treading back to his room to get ready for the day.



After about an hour and a half, Zayn arrived with Perrie to pick me up. They agreed to stop at a Starbucks for me, considering we had no food left in our flat.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" I asked as I took a sip of my grande Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino.

"Well, I was thinking we could do a bit of shopping at Topshop, what do you think, Zayn?" Perrie questioned, looking at Zayn who was driving.

Zayn groaned and said, "Perrie, I took you there yesterday, why do you need to go again?"

"Girls can never have too many clothes," I said, defending Perrie's choice.

"Thank you, Joslynn," Perrie said, smiling, and then turning to Zayn with expectant eyes.

Zayn sighed and said, "To Topshop it is..."



I was currently looking through the rack of dresses, looking for a cute floral one in a size six. I still hadn't gotten used to the European sizing of clothing, so I usually end up not finding anything. So, as expected, I wasn't having any luck. A woman working at the store walked by, and I stopped her and asked for some help. "Do you have this dress in an American size six?" I asked the woman politely, showing her the dress. 

She frowned a bit and started looking through the rack. After a minute, she said, "I'm afraid we only have this dress available in an American sizes zero through two. If you could get your European measurements for me, I could probably order you one."

I forced a smile and said, "That's fine, I can just order one online myself. Why are only such small sizes available?"

The woman sighed and said, "I guess the other sizes got sold out quickly. There's another Topshop in town that may have the size you are looking for, though. However, I'm not sure they will be able to help you find American sizes as well as I was able to."

I blushed a bit and said, "It's fine; I can just order one. And I'm sorry, I just moved here from America. I'm still adjusting to everything here."

The woman smiled and said, "Well London is glad to have you." With that, she walked away, not another word said.

I was a little disappointed. Why did they only have specifically sizes zero through two? Unless...was size six too fat? I hope not, I've been this size for quite a while now and no one has said anything regarding my weight. However, I can't help but feel a tiny bit insecure. Why can't I be a size two or a size zero?

A hand then landed on my shoulder, breaking my thoughts. "Found anything yet?" Perrie asked me, a smile on her face.

"I did like that floral dress, but they only have it available in sizes zero through two."

Perrie frowned and said, "That's lame. You can always order one. That is a really cute dress. I may just order one for myself."

Perrie walked away, going to look at more clothes. I decided to find something else-hopefully something my size.

After about an hour, we finished our shopping and we were back in the car. It was now noon, and we were on our way to lunch at Nando's. I had only been to Nando's once or twice from the years ago when I visited here. I don't remember much of it, but Zayn and Perrie promise me it's good.

We walked into Nando's and got a table for three. The girl at the front, who seemed to be in her early twenties, seemed a little surprised we were there, but sat us without any question, nonetheless.

After looking over the menu and taking our orders, I sighed, looking across at Zayn and Perrie. "I feel like such a third wheel," I said.

They both laughed and Zayn said, "It's okay, we invited you."

I shrugged and said, "True, but doesn't mean I'm not third wheeling. Once in the summer after eighth grade, one of my guy friends asked a girl out and it was going to be his first date. He made me come along and I awkwardly sat a seat away from them watching them kiss and hold hands and stuff. But, they forgot to lift up the arm rest between the two seats, so they sat there kissing and cuddling extremely awkwardly until I came over and lifted up the arm rest."

Zayn and Perrie gave me a weird look before they both burst out laughing. "That's just pitiful," Zayn laughed, Perrie nodding her head in agreement.

After a few more minutes of talk about my awkward third wheeling experience, Zayn asked, "Have you heard anymore about Joshua?"

I was a bit startled by the question, but I said, "I...uh...yeah...sort of. My mom called me a few days ago about it, actually. He was taken into custody. He was already put on attempted rape charges, but then he was caught breaking and entering inside a home. So...yeah..."

Zayn and Perrie's eyes went a little wide and Perrie asked, "Why didn't you tell us?"

I shrugged and said, "I only told Niall, actually. He just so happened to be there when I got the call."

"It could also be because you and Niall are like complete best friends," Perrie said.

"I'm best friends with all of you guys," I replied.

"Yeah, but we all know you have special bonds with certain people. Among us British girls, you and Danielle have a special bond. Among the American girls, it's you and Jacqueline. Among the boys, it was always Louis, and Liam when Louis messed up. Now, Louis and you are in this weird place, and then it turned into Liam and Niall, but now Harry is also getting real close to you," Perrie said.

Zayn then said, "I feel so out of the loop, guys. I didn't even pay attention to this."

I laughed a bit before I said, "Yeah, Liam sort of stepped up when Louis and I first started fighting real bad, and Niall..." I couldn't tell them how the only reason Niall and I got close was from my cuts. I couldn't.

"Niall and I just found ourselves bored one night and we stayed up talking a lot, and then he took me to Disneyland, which I guess won me over. And I'm close to Harry because he lives in the apartment and he's there to talk to considering Louis is the only other one," I replied. "Plus, he's dating my best friend from back home."

Perrie nodded and said, "That's all understandable. But, you shouldn't have to hide things, like Joshua's whereabouts, from us."

I sighed and said, "You're right, I'm sorry. Things have just been such a mess lately, and I'm just sort of sick of everything. Sometimes I just pretend nothing's wrong because it makes me feel a whole lot better."

Perrie and Zayn both gave me a sad smile. "Jos, you know you can trust us with anything and we're always going to be here for you. We're all willing to do anything to make you feel better, and you know that," Zayn said.

I smiled and said, "Thank you, guys. Y'all honestly don't know how much that means to me, and I will never take that for granted."

Perrie got up and ran over to give me a hug from her chair. "I love you, Joslynn," she said.

"Correction-we love you," Zayn said, getting up to hug me as well.

I smiled to myself, wondering how on earth I managed to be so blessed.



After lunch, Zayn and Perrie took me around London, looking at all of the stuff I hadn't been able to see yet. They finally dropped me off at the flat at around 7:00 PM, and we said our goodbyes.

Right as I was about to open the door to the flat, it opened for me. Right before me stood none other than Louis and Margaux.

"Oh...um...hi..." I said awkwardly.

Margaux smiled, giving me a hug. "How are you, Joslynn?"

Was she seriously completely oblivious to everything that's been going down between Louis and I?

I forced a smile and said, "I'm good, how are you, Margaux?"

"I'm absolutely brilliant; Louis was just about to take me out for dinner since the weather seems to be nice this evening! But don't worry, Louis mentioned you all were out of food, so I did a little shopping for you guys, so there's plenty of food in the kitchen! I also made some lasagna earlier if you would like to heat some up!"

What can I say; she really is quite the charmer. I couldn't hate her.

I forced another smile and said, "That sounds lovely, Margaux, thank you so much."

Margaux smiled, bidding me a goodnight, Louis doing the same, just a bit more awkwardly.

I then walked into the flat, dropping my bags and letting out a huge sigh.

"Long day?" I heard Harry say as he came into view.

I sighed and said, "Yeah, we did so much shopping. It was quite nice, though. It was a fun little outing."

Harry smiled and said, "Well, that's great! But, unfortunately, I'm going to have to leave you here alone. Liam and I are going out to a bar for a bit."

"Liam is going to a bar?" I questioned.

"He can drink, you know. His kidneys work perfectly fine now," Harry answered.

"I know, but we all know Liam isn't huge on drinking." 

Harry shrugged his shoulders and said, "He'll get over it. But, I really must go. Bye, Jos." He then gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and left the flat without another word.

I sighed, dragging my feet and plopping down on the couch. After about fifteen minutes of watching absolutely nothing on TV, I decided to give Niall a call and see if he could come over.

Niall agreed, and he was over within a few minutes, attacking the lasagna that Margaux had made earlier.

Eventually, we both sat down on the couch with plates of lasagna while wearing sweats watching Pretty Little Liars. I had brought my entire DVD collection with me from America.

"I still don't get it, why don't they just call the cops on this 'A' person?" Niall asked, stuffing his face full of food.

"Because A is presumably more powerful than the cops. A has the ability to see absolutely everything, even the things the cops do. A can also listen in on every conversation each girl has and A is always going to be one step ahead," I replied.

"How does A see everything? A isn't God; A is a normal person like you or me. And, the girls could just get new phones, email addresses, and all that stuff."

"A has hacked into their alarm systems, has cameras in their homes, and is constantly following them. A is like a spy. And, the girls have already tried changing all of that, yet A was still able to get ahold of it. A has even hacked into their computers without even being there."

Niall sighed and said, "This show is beyond me; I really don't understand it. The cops have guns and other things that could easily find A and take A down. Just trace where the texts and emails are coming from. They can do that, even if they are anonymous."

I groaned and said, "Niall, stop sucking the fun out of my show!"

Niall laughed and said, "I'm sorry, Jos, but this show does seem a bit ridiculous when you really think about it. However, if you don't think about it at all, you're right-it's a damn good show."

This made me laugh, and I continued to eat my lasagna and watch the show. A few minutes later, Niall got up for more lasagna. When he sat back down, he said, "Margaux is one hell of a cook. She can make some seriously good lasagna. That's my kinda woman."

I laughed, saying, "Well, she isn't exactly available at the moment."

Niall shrugged and said, "True, but who knows how long this thing with her and Louis lasts? She doesn't even know that Louis proclaimed his love to you, or for that matter, that you two are in a fight."

"Are you serious?" I asked, a bit shocked. I would have figured Louis told her that much.

"Yep. Louis really hasn't told her anything. She doesn't know anything about Eleanor, and well Louis told her that you-" Niall stopped himself short, becoming aware of whatever he was going to say.

"Louis told her what about me?" I asked, inching towards Niall, wondering what the hell Louis did this time.

"Soooo...Pretty Little Liars...Emily is hot..." he trailed off.

"She's lesbian, now what did Louis say about me?"

Niall genuinely looked shocked and said, "She's lesbian?!"

"On the show, dip shit. Now, what did Louis say?"

"Okay, you had me scared for a minute there," Niall said, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Niall, stop changing the subject. What did Louis say about me?"

Niall sighed, closing his eyes. "You can't tell him I told you this, okay?"

I sighed and said, "Fine. Now spill."

"Well, basically, Margaux was a little weary of the fact you were staying here and was afraid that you and Louis might have a thing. And, well, to make her feel better and to hide the fact that there actually is something going on, he told Margaux that you were..."

"That I what? Spill it, Horan," I snapped.

"He told her that you and Harry were dating-" I cut him off.

"He what?" I asked in disbelief.

Niall then said, "I'm not done! She was still a little weary, so Louis then told her that you were lesbian and you were dating Harry to cover it up because you were in denial. And...well...Margaux believed it."

"Are you fucking with me, Horan?" I asked. Who the hell would believe such a lie?

Niall then began to laugh. "What the hell is so funny about this, Niall?" I snapped.

"It's just...she actually believed it. And the whole situation is sort of...hilarious. Maybe you and Emily can get together now." Niall continued to laugh.

I tried my hardest to keep a straight face, but I eventually ended up laughing, too. It was beyond me how someone could believe such a thing. "Is she stupid or something?" 

Niall sighed, still laughing a bit. "Well, would you believe such a thing if you walked in to six other strangers' lives of whom you knew nothing about? She knew we were in One Direction, but she wasn't in to the music and she knew barely anything about us. She easily believed it because she had never even heard of you and she knew little of Harry. You can't blame her."

"I'm literally going to kill Louis," I groaned, closing my eyes.

Niall laughed and said, "Hey, at least she's not being a bitch to you because she thinks you're trying to steal Louis away."

I sighed and said, "That's true; the last thing I need on my case is some bitchy blonde girl who think I'm trying to steal her boyfriend."

"Well, you kinda are," Niall said.

"Oh, hush, details, details..."

Niall then laughed and attacked me in a hug. For the rest of the night, we talked and laughed and had plenty of tickle fights, and not a word about Louis or Margaux was spoken for the rest of the night, though many lesbian jokes were dropped here and there, as I'm sure they will be for the rest of my life.