I Won't Give Up (A Big Time Rush Fanfiction)

Crash

I'm back! I was out of town for the week, but I'm back with another update and I hope you enjoy the chapter. Something big happens in this one o.O xoxoxo, Brooke

_____________________________________________________________________________

CARLOS' POV

Raining on New Years? Not what I’d been hoping for. I was suppose to be on my way to the hospital to spend time with my friends, but instead I was sitting in my driveway, waiting for it to (hopefully) stop long enough for me to be on my way. I was quickly becoming impatient. I knew I could improve on that, but not quite yet.

I waited...and I waited...and I waited. 

Until I couldn’t take the anticipation anymore and I found myself backing out of the driveway, grumbling under my breath. Mom had warned me to wait until the rain stop, but why? I was a careful driver. She had turned into a paranoid mess ever since I left the hospital and even worse since my car got smashed up. She didn’t seem to care that I hadn’t even made one attempt since leaving the hospital. She was more focused on what might happen eventually.

Okay, I thought about it a lot and sometimes I found myself staring at the razor in the bathroom, but I always controlled the urges.It wasn’t easy to do, but I managed. All I wanted to do was make that constant pain over Victor’s death go away and the only way out seemed to be suicide, but no one would dare let me go that far.

That rain was pouring awfully hard. I turned on the windshield wipers to hopefully clear the view, but every time, more and more droplets of water poured onto it. I was getting rather aggravated with it, but it got to a point where I just gave up and tries to see through the blurry rain. Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea, though.....

HONK! HONK!

“SHUT UP!” I yelled, growling under my breath. I huffed, seriously irritated. Why did they insist on being so impatient? 

HONK! HONK! HONK!

Just ignore it, Carlos. I took a breath, focusing my attention on the road. To me, there was nothing more irritating than obnoxious drivers. I hated these guys that started honking at you when you weren’t even doing anything. I shook my head, clutching tightly at the wheel. I tried to remain calm and collected, at least to avoid any disasters.

As I drove past a local bar, I could hear faint music blaring from their speakers. That sounded like fun, but I’d rather not be drunk on New Years Eve....or ever. I felt sort of jealous, though. They all sounded so happy and carefree, not quite like myself. Don’t get me wrong, I use to be like that too, but that all came to an end. It was over.

Grand Marais was so peaceful at night, other than the New Years excitement that was happening.  I loved going to Lake Superior when I needed some time alone to think. Sometimes I would even bring some of my favorite snacks and enjoy a nice, quiet picnic. I still did this sometimes, just not as often as I use to.

“WOO HOO!”

And there goes another obnoxious, probably drunk, driver. The silver pickup truck was swerving all over the highway, even when I honked my horn at him. What was wrong with that guy? He swerved over into my lane and I honked again, watching as he returned to his own lane. I was getting nervous now, my sweaty palms tightening their grip against the wheel.

“WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING!” I shouted again, but he only swerved back over to my lane, letting his vehicle scratch against mine. “What the--”

Panicking. I was panicking. My breathing was getting louder, my hands were shaking, and I was inching closer to the side of the road. Still, the mystery driver kept swerving from side to side. I gasped for air, trying to force Mom’s car to a stop.