I Won't Give Up (A Big Time Rush Fanfiction)

Isolated

The next chapter will be a more lighthearted one:) xoxoxo, Brooke

_____________________________________________________________________________

“Your white blood cell count is a little on the low side.” 

I swore I was almost half asleep at this point. Dr. Rivers checked my blood cell counts on a regular basis and they were usually normal, but about seven to fourteen days after chemo, my blood cell counts tended to act up. I hardly understood most of this fancy medical talk, so meeting with my doctor without my mom present felt pretty close to mental torture. What was a white blood cell count anyway?

Dr. Rivers seemed to read my mind, thankfully. “The white blood cells help fight off infection. Yours have decreased, so you’re at a higher risk.”

I bit my tongue behind the medical mask currently covering my face. My fingers tapped against the arms of the chair and I sucked in a breath, glancing over at the door. I hoped I’d be okay for the Halloween party. It was a little over a month away. I even had my costume picked out. I was going to dress up as a biker. I would throw on a pair of ripped jeans, an old white tee shirt, a black leather biker jacket and some leather boots. It was simple, but still cool.

“I’m going to lower your chemo dosage and prescribe antibiotics until your white cell count stabilizes.” She was writing on her notepad again. I always wondered what doctors actually wrote on those things. It’d be hilarious if I peeked and found that she was just drawing random pictures. Hehehe...but yeah, Dr. Rivers was way too professional for that.

“Keep that mask on too.” She led me to the door and we exited her office, heading towards the elevator. I would have welcomed the opportunity to just nap right here. I yawned and rested my head against the wall, my eyes fluttering shut. I didn’t totally feel like hell yet, but I was getting there.

“Now, I want you to go to your room and rest. I need to talk to some of the other patients.” 

We soon arrived at the fourth floor and she led me to the room, making sure I got into bed. Once I was good and settled in, she left, and I sunk into the pillows. It felt ridiculously good to be under the covers, considering I’d been forced to get up for the appointment. Mom hadn’t gotten to come because something came up at work.

“Um, hi?” 

Someone had just approached Dr. Rivers, but I couldn’t quite see who it was. “I’m looking for James Diamond. He’s, um, my son.”

No.

No way.

No way in hell.

“Oh, he’s in here, but sir, I don’t know if--”

And he was coming in anyway. Awesome. 

“James?”

I pretended to be asleep, resisting the urge to cringe as he sat beside my bed. I didn’t understand how he could have the nerve to show up after everything he’d ever done to me and Mom. I knew that we deserved better treatment than that and he didn’t provide that love to us. Not once. So why did he act like he deserved forgiveness? 

“I guess you’re asleep. Um...I just wanted to see you. I know your mom probably doesn’t want me coming anywhere near you and, well, I guess I can’t blame her. I wasn’t exactly the best father ever, was I?”

No, you were not.

“I don’t know what the chances are of you ever forgiving me, but please just...just consider it. I feel like i’m losing you. Your mom is afraid of losing you too, I’m sure of it.”