I Won't Give Up (A Big Time Rush Fanfiction)

Just One Night

It's been raining down here, so the internet has been a little slow. BUT I was able to update, so yay! *happy dance* xoxoxo, Brooke

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“What are we doing up here?” I wondered as we stood atop the hospital’s roof. It was August 31 and I was a little surprised that Jo had insisted on us spending the evening hear. I was enjoying the view, admittedly. I’d always seen our town as being sort of plain, but from this high, it was really beautiful, especially Lake Superior. It was too bad that I couldn’t go down there right now and see it up close.

“Well,” Jo said as we all sat down in a circle. “I’ve decided that we need a tradition around here. So, on the last day of every month, we are going to come here and just...reflect. On the good and the bad and just, well, everything.”

I hugged my knees to my chest and tried to figure out whether this was a good idea or not. Did I really want to air my dirty laundry to people I’d only known for a little over a month? Then again, no one ever said I had to tell them everything. I just had to tell them something. Yeah! Just something to contribute to the conversation. Doesn’t have to be anything personal.

“Okay, so this is how it’s gonna work. We are gonna take turns saying anything that’s on our minds. Talking is very therapeutic, you know.” Jo reached into her book bag and took out a box of crackers for us to snack on, since most of us had absolutely no appetite whatsoever. Well, Carlos probably could’ve handled a big box of pizza, but that wasn’t the case for all of us.

“So my therapist said.” Jade grumbled, laying on a red and black plaid blanket. “Anyway, since this was your idea, you should start.”

“Okay,” Jo said, pulling her blonde hair back into a ponytail. Oh my god, Kendall, stop staring at her. Kendall had his eyes glued to that girl, and I was pretty sure she noticed. “I--Kendall? You okay there?”

“What?” Kendall said suddenly. “Oh! Yeah, totally.”

“Right.” Jo seemed a little weirded out. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or keep it to myself. “Anyway, I have 9 weeks left of chemo and then they are going to run some tests to see if the cancer is gone!”

We all gave our best wishes to her, but I also had something on my mind. In two months, there was a chance that she might go into remission soon. I felt selfish, but when would I achieve remission? Dr. Rivers said that my cancer was shrinking, but at a very slow rate. So we would continue chemo for as long as it could be tolerated, and hopefully the cancer would go into remission.

“Okay, um, now Camille, why don’t you talk next?” Jo encouraged.

“Um, I want to be an actress, but I’m worried about doing Hollywood level acting because I’m worried that it might be triggering.”

“You could always do community theater for a few years and then, when you’re ready, move on to the fancy Hollywood stuff.” I didn’t know where this desire to give advice was coming from. I wanted to help in some way, but I didn’t think advice was my area of expertise. 

“That’s actually not a bad idea.” Camille said thoughtfully. “I’ll consider that! Okay, now...Lucy, your turn.”

“When I finish up my physical therapy and stuff, I am going home and I am going to apply to Juilliard. Just because I’m confined to a wheelchair, it doesn’t mean I can’t follow my dream of being a musician.”  Lucy seemed confident, a trait I admired. She was one of those people who refused to give up on her dreams because of a small bump in the road, although she never did seem to care about acknowledging what brought her here.