SAD ROBOT: an autobiography of my unfortunate existence

65. MAKE THINGS RIGHT

65. MAKE THINGS RIGHT 

With Milo unreachable, I have decided to turn my attention elsewhere.

Figuring out that my blog will not work, I decide to check other login accounts to see if the problem would persist. I donʼt really have any sites to choose from which I have accounts for, save for the dating site that Iʼd registered Milo on and set him up with that nice brunette girl, Ava.

My login works just fine. It must be the blogʼs website and not the Internet at large, after all.

Speaking of Ava, I had not logged in since before Iʼd briefly met her in person. There is a message from her waiting for me.

Hi,
     Thank you for giving me a heads up, even if it was last moment. That was kind of you. And the way you did it was....unique, Iʼll give ya that.
I hope your unforeseen circumstances turned out alright. Let me know if you wish to try this again, as I still have a raincheck to cash in."

Hope this finds you well, Ava

I do feel bad about this little mess that I had created. Even if the extent of the mess only reached one other person. Still, this girl is innocent and did not need to be involved in my rogue mission. I should have realized that even she could not save Milo from his own spiraling destruction. Though I will never know that for sure. Maybe she could have. Or at least shown him that a real chance at human intimacy still existed. Even if Ava proved not to be the best of matches, at least it could have given him the confidence to get back out there and pursue love. That he did not need to seek out a mockery of love to be able to feel it.

But maybe I was simply just too late. My plan was too overdue and belated. Even if it could have worked, I had waited far too long to enact it. I have finally reached this sorry state of realization.

I should not blame myself, this I know. The only one in the wrong is Milo. Perhaps no plan of mine could ever have saved him from his delusion. He just wanted perfection; something one could never attain in the messiness of human relationships. He preferred an illusion of fantasy. Perhaps my setup would only have proven this beyond doubt, that he is simply just not capable of real human relationships. I feel badly for him.

But here, while I can, I would like to make things right. I played with the heart of an innocent girl and likely caused an amount of false hope in her. I understand that I presented Milo as far more of an admirable and attractive fellow than he actually is. No offense to my former friend, but I shall be honest here. I made Milo look very good. I made Milo sound very charming and likable. Meeting him in person would only have led to massive disappointment and claims of false advertising.

I would like to go and meet her and explain myself to her. Give an explanation for why I have been the one communicating with her and not the actual Milo. In a culture filled with so much romantic dissatisfaction, hopefully this will ease the disappointment instead of the much harsher method of simply not returning anymore messages from her. That would feel far too undeservedly cruel.

I tell all this to Beth when she gets home and she says she feels that I would be doing the right thing. She understands that I was only trying to help Milo, to get him out of his perpetually somber state. Beth just hopes that this Ava girl doesnʼt take the news too terribly and does anything to me out of rage of feeling cheated.

I feel that, from what I have gleamed of her personality, isn't likely for her to react badly. I think that, with my advanced and eloquent use of language, I may still be able to even salvage a friendship! However, the variable remains upon her willingness to forgive this poor, desperate robot. Perhaps she will take pity on me.

From our correspondence, I had always figured sheʼd seemed nice. Maybe that feeling could be reciprocated. It would certainly make me feel a lot better about the whole quandary.

I will meet Ava, I will explain myself, I may even talk about the real, actual Milo. I will hope that she understands, sympathizes with my predicament, maybe even suggests to help me in some way.

That last part may just be wishful thinking. Perhaps a part of me still hopes that my original plan could work. But no. That is foolish of me to consider. How could I get a random human girl to help get Milo back? I am going to have this situation resolved, not make it worse.

Will this work? I do not know. It could go either direction, north or south, well or badly.

I return her message. Still pretending to be Milo, we arrange a meeting the next evening at a place about a half hour walk away from Bethʼs place.