SAD ROBOT: an autobiography of my unfortunate existence

43. I DON'T UNDERSTAND

43. I DONʼT UNDERSTAND 

If I were to have a human face, it would have a look of pure heartbreak on it. What does Milo think of this situation?

"I feel like shit," he answers my question. "I never intended for it to happen like this. For you to walk in, see her, and have me not know how to explain it. Iʼll admit, it probably doesnʼt look good."

"Not particularly," I say dryly.

"I would be pretty confused myself in your position." Now he has come out with the attempt at empathizing. Itʼs not very convincing.

"Youʼre right. Some fancy, newer, better model of myself standing in my own home. One that I cannot compare to or live up to. I imagine it would be the same as having an old, arthritic dog seeing his owners bring home a brand new puppy."

"I feel bad," Milo states the obvious, looking at the floor; and he should feel bad. He should have worked out how to explain this to me before this robot girl had even arrived, or told me a long time ago what he had done with a large chunk of his savings, and why he did what he had done. Even though Milo himself probably doesnʼt even really know why.

Though I believe that I do, and maybe, just maybe, he does too. Even though he wonʼt admit to it.

Change is tough. It is always inevitable; no matter how much and how hard we try to dig our heels in against it, it always comes, sometimes forcefully and unforgiving.

Milo knew what he had done the moment he made that purchase. He had given in to the new, the better, the more glamourous. He knew that it would invite change, he just didnʼt think about the ramifications of what ways, but yet he did it nonetheless.

I stand there, looking down at the letter, not saying anything.

Hereʼs to the future, my friend. Yeah. Right.

"It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, I wasnʼt thinking, I—" Milo is trying to explain that which he obviously cannot. I donʼt know why he is trying to defend himself, lighten the shock of this new development on me. He doesnʼt even know what I am thinking. I have yet to articulate a full response. Would I be sad, mad, or completely indifferent? Did it even matter to me at all? Did it just mean another robot in the household or would I take it as a personal betrayal? Would I happily accept moving on to the next phase of my life, even if that meant back to the bargain bin or even straight to the scrap heap? I hope these are the questions Milo is asking himself.

"I know you to make irrational and unreasoned decisions, but this one requires a whole new amount of information to understand its logic."

Miloʼs mouth becomes a thin slit.

I suppose I expected an answer, though I should know better than to assume Iʼll receive one.

"Hiram, Iʼd like you to meet Angelica," Milo says, changing the subject and putting his hand on her back and guiding her forward, closer to me.

I drop my arms, the letter dangling from the left one. 

"I donʼt understand," is all I say.

Angelica half-turns to Milo. "Does he reside with you as well?"

"Yes. Angelica, this is Hiram. Heʼs lived with me for quite some time." 

"Pleased to meet you, Hiram."

I donʼt know if these new robots actually do act politely toward their fellow robots, or if this show is just for Miloʼs sake. The saccharine faux-innocence of her voice is surely a ploy to fool gullible humans like Milo.

We, the two robots in the room, look at each other.

"Apparently length of loyalty has little importance on the basis of any decision-making regarding said loyalty," I say, fully aware of how so very cold it sounded out of my mouth.

Milo knows that I do know what is happening here. I am not nearly as dumb as I look. I wasnʼt going to be fooled by any of Miloʼs acting, as if everything was going to proceed as normal. Nothing would remain normal from here on out. Even though I had gotten used to normal. Heck, I even liked normal. Enjoyed it, even.

"Hiram." Milo can only seem to say my name, nothing of any real substance. What could he say? Hiram, meet your new successor, oh and by the way, sorry old-buddy- old-pal but Iʼm putting you into immediate retirement, hope you donʼt mind!

"I was curious. I wanted to know what the new Threes were like."

"At least now we know what the source of your financial problems has revealed to be from."

"Yes. It was irresponsible, I know. I wasnʼt thinking—" 

"Clearly."

"I shouldʼve told you."

"It would have helped the situation, yes."

"Iʼm sorry."

"Should I pack my things and go?" 

"You donʼt have any things." 

"Thanks for reminding me."

Do robots really get jealous? Surely that could be imagined. And why not?

Did Milo not, in the least, suspect that I would act in any such way? Did he believe I would be just as accepting as I was of most of his demands? This demand is evidently far different. My whole livelihood is at stake, for pityʼs sake.

Maybe all this time, he has sorely underestimated me and what I am capable of, both intellectually and emotionally.

"Iʼm sorry, Hiram," he is still struggling with what else to say and so has begun repeating himself.

"Your apology feels rather forced. What do you intend to do now? An individual like yourself has no need for more than one robot."

His face gives away that he really doesnʼt have the slightest idea of what he intends to do. I had him there.

"There would be an awful lot of standing around for two robots. Heaven knows I do enough of that as it is."

"I-I donʼt know—"

"Well you better do something about this dilemma, Milo. This is one mess of yours that I will not be making right."