Chapter 20

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Hello, my amazing and beautiful friends.
Firstly, I want to apologise for the week and a half hiatus that I took – it wasn't intentional. I've been super ill recently and it turns out I'm lactose and gluten intolerant and so I'm no longer allowed to eat anything with them in it (My craving for mozarella sticks is actually killing me).
And so I've been trying to get better as well as working full time and it kind of draine dme and I didn't get a chance to write much, I promise that I'm going to spend the rest of tonight trying to get a few chapters backlogged so that this doesn't happen again and I always have chapters prepared!

ON SAYING THAT – YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING INCREDIBLE.

On the last chapter we were at 23K reads (which was insane) BUT NOW WE'RE AT 43.3K!!!!!!!! WE'VE ALMOST DOUBLED IN READS SINCE THE LAST CHAPTER.

Honestly, I do not deserve your support and love and you guys are absolutely incredible. I've also been sent a couple book covers and so look out for yours in the next couple chapters if you sent me one! 

This chapter is dedicated to @thequietlibrary for her amazing cover that she made and you should all check out her book and give some feedback! Authors gotta stick together! Sending so much love xxx 
Also, we decided that Jack Falahee is pretty much my perfect Trent at this point however I would love to hear suggestions form you guys and your own thoughts, never know, you could find someone way better suited to the role! 

This chapter isn't insanely exciting however I'm hopefully going to upload another one later on or tomorrow (lets be real it's going to be tonight because I get way too excited)!

I LOVE YOU ALL x


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I cry the entire drive.

Not once do I look up from my lap and not once do my tears stop.

It's like I've opened a floodgate that refuses to close.

The feeling is somewhat new to me – usually, I could control my breakdowns, I could halt them to keep up a facade or put them on pause until I was alone but not tonight. Tonight my emotions have control of me and so I let them be free, running down my cheeks and splattering onto my legs.

Cole and Kristie whisper to each other the entire time, their worried glances continuously being thrown at me from the front but they don't once ask what's wrong and I'm grateful. How was I meant to explain that I felt heartbroken at being rejected by someone who wasn't my boyfriend?

What kind of person did that make me?

The drive seems to go on for eternity, the entire time a feeling tugging on my heart, begging me to go back to the boy I left behind, but I can't. He'd been the strong one, the one to know that it was a bad decision to make and had stopped me from ruining my life. I should be grateful that he did.

When we pull up to Kristie's I silently get out the car, my bare feet hitting the tarmac as my heels dangle from my hands, knocking together gently.

I think Cole says goodnight to me although I'm not one hundred per cent sure because everything around me sounds like it's underwater, my ears not registering full words or sentences.

It's only after I shut the car door and breathe in the fresh air that I realise how much the car smells of a certain person and immediately I have to resist the urge to throw myself back into the vehicle.

Kristie says goodbye to Cole and then comes over to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as she guides me towards her home, the porch light flickering on as we get to the front door. It was still relatively dark outside and now that I didn't have the warmth of a jacket over me I was aware of how much my body was shivering.

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