THE FORGOTTEN SMILE

52.

What am I supposed to do?

When the best part of me was always you.

***

P.O.V Maddie

I sighted and fell on my bed. luckily I survived another school day.

It was exactly 2 weeks after Dylan kissed another girl and he literally did nothing. Except for looking away when I looked at him and not talking to me.

Right now I'm so confused. Are we still together? Does he hate me? Does he regret it? Does he still love me?

'so' Rose fell next to me on the bed

'yes' I asked turning on my side towards her

'Dylan' she said and I sighted

'I have no idea' i tell her

'I may have asked Jesse to ask Dylan a bit but he wont say anything, he's completely shut down' Rose tells me and this hurts me.

Does he still care about me?

No don't be silly Maddie, of course he doesn't.

Oh yeah, side note, the voices came back. Fun.

'maybe you should ask him' Rose asks slowly

'maybe, but I don't know where I should get the confidence from. And next to that I'm afraid that if I look into his eyes I'll cry. again' the last part I mumble.

I've cried a lot the last 2 weeks. I guess now I understand what heartbreak really means.

'I get it, the first month after Chris was the worst' she sights

'oh this lasts a month' I moan and I turn on my belly

'only if you break up, technically your still together' she tells me

'that makes it worse, I have no idea where we are' I mumble into the bed

'I know' I feel that Rose stands up

'but you need to pick yourself up and help me with diner' Rose then says and I make an unrecognizable noise

'you promised Nina remember' Rose says and I know she's raising her eyebrow

'okay' I sight and I stand up

'let's go, smile' I fake smile making her chuckle and then walking down stairs.

'hey Maddie' someone then says behind me. I turn around to Dylan

'hey Dylan' I say awkwardly

'can we talk later' he asks while looking into my eyes.

I was right, I really want to cry right now. He fucking lost his sparkle in his eyes.

See what you did, you made him lost his sparkle

'no' I whisper after a while and then run of the stairs to the first room that I find, which is the guest bedroom.

'oh Maddie' Rose comes into the room and sees me cry

'I told you' I say and put my arms around her

'I know' she mumbles

'but maybe you do need to talk to him' she tells me after a while 'to clarify things'

'I know' I wine 'but maybe not now, I don't know. I just can't get the image of him kissing that girl out of my head'

'I know you told me but maybe knowing where you guys stand helps with that' she sits down next to me on the bed

'so the tears dries, now let's cook' Rose pulls me up from the bed and practically forces me to go to the kitchen

'hey sweeties' Nina greets us

'I made a recipe, you only need to follow it' she tells me and Rose

'thank you' I smile, which takes a lot of energy.

Fuck even smiling is hard. But you need too, there is no need that Nina knows what's going on.

'I'll see you when I'm done' she says and she gives me a kiss on my cheek.

She's going out with some friends so I'll eat alone with Marc and Dylan. Luckily Rose wanted to stay over.

I don't know what I would do if I sat there. It would probably be so embarrassing.

'so what are we making' rose asks and looks on the paper Nina put down

'lasagna' I mumble

'but that's fine, I thought she was going to choose like the hardest recipe ever' rose chuckles, which made laugh.

We started cooking until I heard the door close.

'who's there' I yell but no one responded

'the fuck' Rose cursed under her breath

'I'm going to check if there are any murderers' I say and I walk to the door

'hello' I yell again and I open the door

'hello' I yell again and I see Dylan turn around

'oh sorry, didn't mean to scare you' he says and a nervous chuckle leaves his mouth

How can I be so mad at him but still find him cute

'where are you going' I asked him

'to a friend, I'm staying there for the night' he smiles small

'okay, have fun' I then close the door and walk back

'who was it' Rose asks

'Dylan' I mumble and continue with what I was doing

'oh, and di you exchange more than 2 words this time' Rose asked raising her eyebrow

'yes we did, now please stop mentioning him' I ask and she nods

'okay, what you want'

When we where done we put it on the table that Marc already sat at.

'where's Dylan' he asks

'eating with a friend' I tell him

'okay, well then it's just us' he smiles and I smile back

'I hope it's eatable, we did everything by the recipe that Nina gave us' Rose says when we all sat

'okay' Marc chuckles and he takes a bite

'oh this is pretty good' I say when I also take a bite

'yes' Rose gives me a high five

'it's good' Marc smiles once again

Then we eat and talk. Nothing to deep, exactly what I need.

Just simple talk that takes me away from Dylan.

Shit, I'm thinking of him again.