THE FORGOTTEN SMILE

18.

Bring colors to my sky

***
P.O.V Maddie

Another month went by. Nothing really changed, Dylan and me became really good friends. every time the little devil came back I went to his room and we just talked. Also Dylan got a little less over protective, good because it made me uncomfortable.

We were on our way to the mall now. It was Saturday and Dylan needed a new pair of jeans and because I was the only one in the house I offered to come with him.

'so where do you want to go' I ask when we walk inside.

'I don't know' we looked around and I saw a story which had jeans

'there' I pointed at the store and he knotted

'what do you think' Dylan walks out of the dressing room in a pair of black jeans

'aren't they to tight' they seem unconfutable

'a bit, but beauty is pain' he smirks and I do one of my famous eyerolls

'well in my eyes beauty is comfort so next' I sit in one of the brown chairs waiting for Dylan

'this one' he turns around in blue jeans

'are they comfortable' he knots 'then yeah' he knots and changes into his own clothes.

'I have to confess something' I say when we walk outside

'what then' I can hear his concern in his voice. He is still concerned when I say things like this, even when he knows I know how to deal with everything.

'I haven't shopped for like 6 years' Dylan widens her eyes

'I've never met a girl who haven't shopped for so long' I scoff

'well glad to be the first' he laughs

'you have to go shopping with Sadie when she comes back, she's like the queen of shopping' I knot

'don't tell her I called her queen fop shopping' I scoff

'I won't' we walk inside another store where there are male and female clothes.

'hey is this what for you' Dylan hold up a sweater that says "I hate people"

'I don't know if I should take that as an insult or a compliment' I raise one eyebrow

'just try it on' he throws me the sweater while laughing

'but I don't like trying things on' I moan

'you have to' he looks around the store

'why' I ask

'because I say so' he states and I scoff

When we reach the dressing room Dylan has picked out 5 other sweaters and 3 shirts for me. I refused all the jeans because I'm not going to try on those.

'I don't like it' I say when I look at myself in the mirror. I'm wearing a white sweater with a little heart

'it fits you, it's comfortable and you look good. What's not to like' Dylan stands behind me

'I don't like the heart and it's like 50 dollars' I turn around to go to the dressing room

'you shouldn't care about money. You have enough' it's true. I get a hundred dollars every month from Nina and Marc, plus they gave me a thousand dollars to buy clothes. I said it was too much but I couldn't change their minds.

'I just don't like it okay' I scoff and Dylan knots

'but you have to buy something' he said when I close the door of the dressing room

'no promises' I yell back and I change into a green shirt that said Atlanta.

'you look' Dylan looks at me and I nervously start to play with my ring 'beautiful' he finishes and I blush a little.

'I don't know, I don't like to wear short sleeve things' he knots. It shows my cuts and I don't like people to know I used to cut myself.

'I get it, but here. A leather jacket and you still look pretty' he gives me a leather jackat and I put it on.

'thanks' I look at myself in the mirror. Normally I would just look away but now I keep staring. For some reason I like it, it's weird. I've actually never really liked myself, not in clothes and not as a person. But now I actually genially like it.

'I think you should buy it' I knot

'I will' Dylan gives me an high five

'mission accomplished' I scoff at his stupidity.

I end up buying an oversized red shirt, a navy shirt with flowers, a blue sweater that says "banana's" and a grey Pepsi cola sweater. And of course the green shirt and the leather jacket.

I pay everything and I walk out the door with Dylan.

'I just did that' I say amazed by myself

'buy clothes' he askes

'buy clothes worth 300 dollars' I say and he chuckles

'well get used to it' he starts to walk and I scoff

'I think I'll never get used to this'

We end up at a little café called "cupcake" that serves, you guessed it; cupcakes. I order an caramel Frappuccino and a red velvet cupcake and Dylan a hot chocolate and a chocolate cupcake.

'hey Mads' Dylan asks when we sit down

'yeah what' I drink form my Frappuccino

'how did your dad pass away' he said and I almost choke in my drink. I did not expect this.

'oh shit sorry, I didn't mean to' he apologizes immediately

'it's okay I just didn't expect that question' I cough and look up to Dylan

'he passed on May 29, 2012' I start

'wasn't then the'

'the shooting in'

'in Seattle, yes' I looks shocked. I thought he knew. Almost everybody knew. I guess his parents never told him. I get it, he was young.

'he was there to visit a friend and got coffee with him and then he got shot saving another old lady' I say and the tears start to prick again. In this 5 years I guess I never really said it out loud like this and somehow the weight on my shoulders fell a little bit.

'he died a hero' Dylan states and I knot

'my dad was always my hero' I look at my cupcake

'he would always watch marvel movies with me and then I'll always say at the end that he was my one and only hero' I scoff

'that's nice to have' Dylan puts his hand on mine

'yes, I really miss him' I wipe away the single tear that falls down my eye

'of course, I mean I would miss my dad to' Dylan looks into my eyes

'thank you' I mumble and I break the eye contact

'for what' Dylan asks

'for just trusting me and letting me tell you stuff and not judging me for it' I say

'I said that to like 2 months ago' he laughs

'well then it's mutual I guess' I scoff

'it is' he smiles

'well are you happy with your clothes' Dylan asks to change the subject

'yes' I say and he smiles even more.

'good' I knot and want to smile back so badly.

But again I can't. I think I I never be able to, maybe I forgot how to. Maybe I need to learn it.

Maybe someone needs to learn me. How to be happy, how to really feel happy.