THE FORGOTTEN SMILE

42.

You are my today and all of my tomorrows

***

P.O.V Maddie

'so I kind of got to tell you something' I said when Rose and I walked to our class

'oh' she looks at me

'don't worry it's nothing bad' I smile. Geez why can't I stop smiling.

'what is it then?' she asked

'but you can't tell anyone' I looked around if anyone was listening

'okay now tell me' Rose said

'so I may have lost my virginity' I said somewhat awkward

'oh my god' she yelled and some heads turned

'yeah a bit louder, I think some people didn't hear it' I say sarcastically

'sorry it's just kind of big you know' she said smiling

'I know' I smiled even bigger

'but how was it' we sat down in the classroom

'fantastic, he was so sweet and oh my god' I let out a breathless scream

'but how like did it happen' she asked again

'well we went to dinner and after that we were just chilling in his room and to the dinner I was wearing a tank top so I felt kind of naked when we sat on his bed and I wanted to grab a sweater but he wouldn't let me and then he came really close and he kissed me and so on until I was really naked' I chuckled blushing a little bit

'oh my' Rose clapped in her hands

'same' I laughed

'when I did it the first time it was so awkward' she sighted

'wait you're not a virgin' I asked raising my eyebrows

'yes I lost it in New York' she said like it wat just like losing a hair tie

'oh, you didn't told me' I mumbled

'no, I guess it never really came up' she tilted her shoulders

'okay' I scoffed

'don't be offended, I want you to know but it's kind of weird to just tell you' she laughed

'okay' this time I laughed

'I mean, "Hello I'm rose your future best friend oh and also I lost my virginity"' we laughed

'but anyway, it was awkward' I put my heand on my hand because now she was going to tell a story

'yes well it was weird because I was with this boy and we dated for like a month and he really wanted to do it and since I trusted him I said okay. So one day when we were at his and his parents weren't home we kind of did it but it was really awkward. He kept asking weird questions and we both didn't really know what to do so yeah' she laughed

'and after did you just go away' I asked amusingly

'yes, I never saw him after that. I was so embarrassed that I broke up with him over text and luckily I never saw him again because he want to another school' she laughed again

'you really are an horrible person' I rolled my eyes back

'I know' she did a hair flip

'geez' I sighted and then the teacher came in.

---

After classes Rose went with us to our house and Dylan went to a friend's house

'see you' I gave him a little kiss

'do you want to eat together' he asked

'just come home whenever you want, just text me when you do' I smiled

'why, so you can hide all your photo's of me' he smirked

'bye Dylan' I just said turning to Rose

'bye pretty lady' I felt a kiss on my cheek and then he walked away

'you are really like a married couple' Rose chuckled

'what, Nin and Marc aren't home so now we have got to be the married couple' I said making Rose laugh

'but anyway, what do you want to do' I asked when we entered the car

'maybe you want to like cook since Dylan is obviously not going to eat with us' Rose suggested

'sure, so first go home choose something, buy the things we need and then cook' I asked and she knotted

We drove home and then we sat on the couch choosing what we wanted to eat

'I want to make like sweet potato fries' Rose wined

'okay' I chuckled

'but what do you want to make next to that' she asked

'we can make burgers' I suggested this time

'yes, omg that is like the best idea ever' Rose said excitedly

'okay and do you want to make like a desert' I asked

'yes I saw this thing on Pinterest these Oreo cheesecake things' she grabs her phone and shows me

'that looks good' I mumble

'okay so now the ingredients' she makes notes as I say what we need. After that we go to the store and buy everything what we need.

When we get home we start to prepare everything

'I swear If I need to cut one more potato I will go insane' I whine

'oh shut up, you have cut enough' she says and right after she said it she puts her hand over her mouth.

Then I start to laugh really hard. That was really funny.

'Maddie are you okay' Rose chuckles while grabbing my hand

'that is, that is really funny' I stumble

'It wasn't too much, It just came out I didn't mean to'

'no it's okay, it's behind me and I can laugh about jokes like this now' I smile.

It is behind me, I haven't cut myself for more than half a year now. The whole depression thing is still there a little bit but I accepted that it is a part of me and thanks to my therapist I learned how to ignore the voices.

'good' she smiled and we went on

'so how is therapy going' she asks after a while

'good, I still cry a lot but that also helps' I knot

'yeah, like when you cry all of you problems just drive away on the water' she mumbles

'exactly' I say

'I get you girl' Rose chuckled

'thank you for that' I smile

'for what?'

'for understanding me'