You're Mine

Chapter 17: I Just Don't Want To Hurt You

     'Broken' is not a word that could describe how I feel right now. I've already felt a void and he hasn't left yet.

     It tore me because he had to go home with to his mother. He really didn't have the luck with his parents. He just started trusting me.

     I knew we'd get close if he stay. I was trying to convince myself that this was for the best, because he would leave in the summer anyway.

     But in spite of all that I was saying to myself, the pain in my chest didn't stopped.

     I was jealous of all those girls in the school who had the chance to experience what it looks like to be with him in that way. Although I had a different and better relationship with him, I still wanted that.

     My mother came briefly to see how I was and asked if I heard Billy's leaving.

     "You two seem to get along better. It's a pity he wants to go back now when his mother is at home. He could certainly stay until the end of the school year."

     As my mother didn't know why he's mother actually came home, I was mostly nodding while she was talking.

     After she left, at the door of my bedroom, there was a gentle knocking.

     "Are you okay?", I asked.

     For a few seconds Billy stared at me as if he didn't know how he was standing in front of my door. "I'm not."

     "What's wrong?"

     "Fuck tomorrow."

     Before I could understand his words, his warm palms covered my cheeks and his lips land on mine.

     His chest pressed my chest as he pushed me into the room. The door closed behind him.

     His lips were warm and damp as they devoured mine. This kiss was far more intense than the previous two opportunities when we kissed and I realized that this looks like when Billy doesn't hold back.

     This was different and the introduction to something more.

     He stopped to kiss me, and his hands slipped down my neck from my face. He gently pulled my hair, making my head go backwards.

     First he kissed me at the bottom of my neck, then slowly he's going up, kissing my neck all the way until he reached my lips.

     I wanted more. I was ready.

     I didn't even have the slightest doubt; I'll let him go to the end.

     When he paused to look at me, I took the opportunity to ask a question because I had to know the answer.

     "What happened?"

     He took me by the hand and took me to bed, where he sat and then sat me on his lap with both legs around him.

     "Do you want to know what happened to me?", he whispered.

     "I finally opened the letter you wrote after reading my diary. That's what happened. Nobody ever said such things to me, Betty. I don't deserve that."

     I went through his hair through with my hands. "You do, I really thought everything I wrote."

     He looked me right in the eyes. "The words in that letter...I'll always have them in my heart. I can never repay you for what you just gave me. And then I thought I couldn't give you one thing you asked for. That made me angry. I decided I'd rather have this night than anything. That's fucking selfish, but I want to be the first to you. I want to be the first to show you everything and to be the one you will remember for the rest of your life. But only if you really meant when you said it was what you wanted."

     "I want it more than anything else.", I pulled him closer.

     He resisted and again looked into my eyes. His face was serious.

     "Look at me, Betty. Because I have to make sure that you're really able to accept that this will end tomorrow. You will never be able to tell anyone. I give you everything you want tonight if you really understand all this. You have to promise me that you can accept it."

     "I can. I told you already that I wanted you to be my first time even if that was the only time. I want you to show me everything. I want to experience the same thing that all those girls experienced. I don't want you to be different to me."

     "I won't give you exactly the same...but I can give you more. Okay? I can give you a better. This may be just one night, but I'll make it worth every second."

     This really is happening. When I got nervous, Billy noticed it and put my hands on my shoulders.

     "You're shaking. Maybe this isn't a good idea."

     "I can't do anything about that. I'm nervous, but in a good way.", I still sat on him, when he looked at me for another moment.

     I took his cheeks with my palms and kissed him passionately, trying to prove that I was ready and that I would never be more ready.

     I looked at him once more and said.
"I want this."

     For a few seconds he looked into my eyes and then lifted me up and put me down on me. He was on top.

     "I love your neck. It's the first thing I wanted to kiss. It's so long and gentle.", I closed my eyes and threw my head back.

     Finally he lowered his arms and slowly took off my shirt. Then he caught my hips and took my shorts off.

     "What are my options?", he smiled. "Rope, chains, cuffs...belt."

     "Hm...?"

     He took my face. "Oh, my God, you're so cute.", he kissed me on my lips. "You were a little wondering if I was serious. I was kidding."

     "I realized that, I just wasn't quite sure.", I said. "Umm, maybe you can take off your clothes too."

     "You want me to take off my clothes, huh?", he smiled. "I'll leave that to you."

     "You look ready.", I joked seeing he's hard, through his pants.

     "I have been prepared since the day I entered this house, I just looked at you and figured I was fucked up."

     "You always wanted me in this way?", he nodded firmly.

     "For a while, I've hid it so well, right?"

     "Yeah."

     "Now it's quite obvious, isn't it?"

     "Yeah."

     Tugging my hands under his shirt, I took it off over her head, which made his hair even messier. I was amazed at the sight. I've seen him many times like this, but never so close and with the ability to touch him.

     "Why does your heart beat so fast?", I asked.

     "You're not the only one trying out something new."

     "What are you talking about?"

     "I've never been the first to anyone."

     "Really?"

     "Yeah...really."

     "Are you nervous?"

     "I just don't want to hurt you."

A/N

I'm back guys, and trust me on this one, I've got so much for this story, and it's gonna get there.

Anyways, I saw that this story was #1 in hashtag Dacre Montgomery, and that brought a big smile to my face.

I hope you are all doing well, hope you guys have enjoyed this chapter, love you all. ♥