Beyond Her Exterior

Chapter 54 - A game I plan on winning

They say April brings April showers and I was that. I don't think their was a time where I wasn't crying. I was weak, vulnerable and completely fucked up - mentally.

Everything was too quiet, nobody was capable of tracing Carson or Tim. Their whereabouts were so unknown it left everyone in a stump. The cops couldn't figure out which way too move in the investigation. They came around everyday to see if I recieved the slightest bit of information or any interaction with the two, but I still fell short.

I want them to make an appearance so we can capture them and this will all be done and over with.

Sighing, I wiped away my salty tears and dropped myself back onto my bed. I lived in the darkness of my bedroom now. This was my home, I only left for school and even then I only went like three out of the five days a week. I'm slacking, but I can't find the will too care.

"Mut." I heard Grayson say along with the sound of my door squeeking open. I wiped my eyes frantically and turned over onto my side pretending to sleep. "I know you're up."

I groaned, and sat up not even bothering to fake it anymore. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

I watched as his hand found the light switch and turned it on, revealing me to the light. My hair was a mess and my acne was flaring up like crazy and I probably had a vile smell to me. I'm telling you, I am utterly fucked up right now.

    It was two o'clock in the morning so whatever reason Gray felt the need to come into my bedroom this late at night – it'd better be good.  "You wanna go for a drive?" He mumbled, I glanced over to him, my eyes immediately softening to see him, the way he was looking at me, with so much care.

     Relentlessly, I nodded my head, climbing out of bed. He grabbed a pair of sneakers for me out of my closet and put them on, sneaking down the stairs and out the front of the house where his car was parked. "What made you wanna show up and ask me to come out with you?" I asked him, tapping my fingers on my thigh as he drove.

   He shrugged, "Figured you needed it." I nod, staring at his side profile, the way his jaw was sculpted, the way his eyebrow had a small slit in it. "Figured I needed it too." He adds, facing me for a brief second before looking back at the road in front of us.

"You?"

  "Yeah... I just needed some one on one time with you Lex. Things have been hard I know, but you have always been the type to deal with the hard, what's so different now?"

"What do you mean?"

"What I'm saying is, why are you so scared suddenly? You never scared before. When I first met you, you were so hard headed and tough, where'd that girl go? You're not the weak type, the sit in your room and cry type, the scared type, so why are you acting like that type?"

  He had a point. I was never the one to be scared. I've seen and dealt with so much that nothing seemed to affect me. When I first became friends with Gray and Gabe I'd get beat up, I'd get injured bad and yet you'd never really find me hiding away. I still faced Tim. I still lived my life. Now I'm living in the shadow of it.

  "I know, I know." I sighed, leaning my head on the window.

  "Good, I want you to know." Gray smiled, reaching over and taking hold of my small, skinny hand. My eyes looked down, at his hand that squeezing my own. I felt it again, the thumping, the burning, the affect he brings on me. I shut my eyes tightly, taking it all in.

"I-I love you, you know this right?" I remind him, squeezing his hand back.

"Of course I do." He chuckled, taking a sharp right turn and getting onto the highway. "I love you aswell."