Beyond Her Exterior

Chapter 42: new years

The next few days flew by, I mostly spent them in the backyard with Marshall and his friends joking around with them. Denise had cases to attend to so she was trapped at work a lot. I didn't mind though.... I was surrounded by good company.

"Alexis, can you grab me something to eat?" Marshall shouts from the garden. He was busy watering his Mom's plants for her. I nodded my head, and went inside. I might as well make us sandwiches since I'm hungry too.

Opening up the fridge, I pulled out a bunch of condiments and placed it on the counter. After making our sandwiches I put them on paper plates and grabbed two bottles of water.

"Come eat." I yell out, taking a seat at the patio table. He came immediatly, sitting down across from me. We ate in silence, allowing me to think about some things.

Ever since we left my house the other day, I've felt like nauseous because of the fact that Grayson and I aren't talking. We've never got into a fight before so for this to be our first fight, it makes me feel saddened, sickly, and most importantly angry.

Not angry at him – well not entirely but angry at myself. If I would have just stayed quiet about my feelings none of this would have happened. I could have just ignored the way my heart beat sped up whenever he was around. I could have just ignored the way his touch burned my body, but also left me wanting more.

I could have ignored it all if it meant I'd be saving our friendship. I want to apologize to him, but then the more I think about it entirely, I can't. He did lead me on. He did make me believe he liked me. Like that day in the cafeteria when he was kissing all over my face, you can't possibly tell me he felt nothing for me.

Or all those times he'd just grab my hand out of nowhere, or act so damn protective over me whenever another guy was around. That wasn't brotherly, none of what he did was brotherly.

Sighing, my mind remembered when Bryant asked me to move in with him. I remembered how Grayson grabbed my hand, tightly, as if he were begging me not to go. Why can't he just tell me?

Why can't he just like me back? Why does everything have to be so darn complicated.

"Are you okay?" Marshall asked, I glanced over at him, he had his sandwich on his plate and he was staring at me.

I shrug, standing up, and walking off the back porch and toward the shed. I should just garden, I need to take my mind off of him. "Alexis." Marshall says, following me in. I turned toward him, shaking my head, letting him know now isn't the time.

"What's wrong? You've been acting a little funny for the past few days." He says, his eyes watching me. I turned away, and grabbed a rake.

"Don't worry about it I'm fine." I answer, going around him to leave. He doesn't let me though, he does the same thing Grayson does – stop me. He pulls me back so I'm in front of him. "I'm serious Marshall, I'm okay."

"I won't believe that for a second." He replied, his eyes looking all over my face as if he'd immediately find the answer. And he somewhat did. "I had this feeling in my gut it was about that kid, you know the only kid at your Dad's house that you didn't talk to. It's him right? It's gotta be him."

"Why do you say that?" I muttered.

"Because I noticed the way you guys were looking at eachother. You looked at eachother liked you hated eachother. So who is he?" Marshall asks.

Sighing, I removed my arm from his grasp. "Just a guy I like, well liked. He was kind of one of my best friends. I told him everything – even confessing my feelings to him. I guess he doesn't like me back so now we chose to dislike eachother."