The Impossible man (doctor who fanfic)

Dumbed down...

"Ummm, Joooo... that is your name right? Jo?" I roll my eyes, "yes" I say in my most patient, baby sitting voice, "ummmm, well, it's just... I wanted to know if you could lick your elbow?, because, I just can't seem to do it, is that normal? Am I supposed to be able to lick my elbow?"

I roll my eyes again, it's been 1 hour since 9 stepped on that Stupid checkpoint and I don't think I can take it anymore! It's like they've taken his mind and replaced it with that of a 3 year olds!

"No, you're not supposed to be able to lick you're elbow, no I can't either, only really special people can do it".
"Are you saying..." he sniffs "are you saying I'm not special?" His eyes start to well up and his bottom lip seems to be shaking. It would have been very funny, had we not been standing in front of a puzzle panel.

"Oh for Gods sake..." Angie starts but Martha cuts in just in time, "please Angie" she says in a hushed voice, "please, I know it's infuriatingly frustrating, but try to understand that at the moment yelling at him my not be the best way to go". "I know you're talking about me" whines 9. Ignoring him, Angie nods, "ok, so what do we do?"

Unfortunately for us, we learned the hard way that to get to the middle we had to pass a series of test before we could get to the big battle at the end. The test are hard enough without the Doctor, but with his 3 year old self insisting that we all show him that we can't lick our own elbows, well... it's hardly helping the cause. We need his timelord brain.

We've already passed one of the tests, that being that dumb "get the chickens across the river without being eaten by the wolves" test. it took us 20 minutes between us, with Angie and I desperately trying to solve the puzzle, while Martha shot down the holographic (but realistic) wolves that came to eat us every time we failed the test and had to start again. of course 9 was in a corner crying about how the big bad wolf was going to eat us all for dinner and that then he would be sad.

When we finally passed that test we were allowed to move on. We've now successfully finished 4 puzzles, which were all pretty much the same, and now we are on to our 5th.

The test that we are working on now is that one where you have to figure out how to put the correct amount of water into 3 different jugs without changing the overall amount that you started with. Angie and I are trying to solve that problem, 9 is desperately trying to lick his elbow and Martha is shooting down the jugs of water that appear above our heads every time we make a move.

"Howwabout this way?" I say to Angie for what seems like the millionth time, "oh yes, that could work"
I make the 4 different moves that I think will solve the puzzle. unfortunately I go to fast for Martha and we all find out the hard way what happens if you don't shoot the holographic jug of water.

As it turns out, it's not so holographic and about a litre of freezing cold water pours over, you guessed it, 9's head.

9 shrieks and starts to sob. "Oh gods please let this be over" I mutter under my breath, 9 is jumping up and down as if dancing on hot coals, "it's not fair! IT'S NOT FAIR!!!" he yells repetitively. Martha goes to try and calm him down but it only makes it worse. he throws himself onto the floor and successfully performs a fully blown supermarket tantrum. At least we've finished the test.

From a wall appears a door that wasn't there before. it opens up and reveals a large open area. I look around and see two other doors open. out step the two other teams, guns primed, aimed at us, ready to shoot.