Contemplating (Completed)

Chapter 32 - Makeup

Chaeyoung's POV

Holiday ended too fast. Classes will be starting soon again, it's almost March. I haven't said anything to Mina since NYE. It's freaking March. If you asked me, yes we are still in a relationship, sort of but okay maybe "break" is our term now. I waited and waited for her to call me actually. I am afraid that she's too proud to call me. I decided to give her distances to think. We're an adult. I should understand that the whole relationship is a new thing to her. I should let her be. Not to mention she has a clingy past. It's gonna be complicated for her.

I better not to see her in a state like this. But alas, I have a meeting in her department. Even though she's not the meeting attendees, I hope I don't meet her in the hallway as well. Seeing her right now will crack me. Oh god, damn, why am I being like this? I should be professional! Before she's my girlfriend, she's my colleague first. I sit in this big meeting room. No one there yet. I sit and face the window. Ever since that day I always think about her in my daydreaming, she always popped into my head. To be honest, I didn't know that was it right or not to talk to her about that thing. But I already said it, I couldn't take it back. I love her, I do. When I said that I love her, I should accept the decision she making. Whether she chooses to be with me or not. It doesn't matter I still love her anyway.

"Chaeyoung-ah?"

A voice interrupts my daydream. It is so soft but loud enough to make me turn my chair to face the source of the voice. Mina standing there at the door. I immediately stand up as well. Then the meeting attendances come one by one. We're still looking at each other. I miss her, I really miss her. This is the first contact since 2 months ago.

"Shall we start, Professor Son?" My colleague asks.

"Oh yes, please"

This is a very important meeting. It's a strategic meeting to merge some subject from writing department with dance department. I should be listening to their thoughts and ideas. But I can't concentrate at all. This is so unprofessional. All I could do is giving nod towards everything. Mina's there replacing her laboratory head. I really can't focus when she's here.

I can't stop thinking about her, I can't stop looking at her no matter how I try to not to. She's so beautiful as always. I miss her, terribly miss her. I sometimes cried in the night because I miss her. I miss hugging her in my embrace. I miss her gummy smile whenever she talked to me. Why do I sound like she's my ex already? Shit shit. I can't imagine now how my life will be pointless all over again without her. I wish that I can hold her hands right here, right now, I will never let her go.

The meeting is finished, I should be back again to the HQ because I have another meeting in 5 minutes. I don't have time to talk to others. I storm off to another meeting place.

***

Mina's POV

I could feel that Chaeyoung still angry with me. But I can understand that. I know it well that she wanted to talk to me, but she insists on giving me time. I also know that Chaeyoung is waiting for my call. It's killing me actually. Been 2 months since I met her face to face at NYE. 2 months. I bet there's no one who's still in a relationship but have no contact the past 2 months. Even Yuju Unnie told me that I acted like a broken up couple already. Oh damn, I don't want to think about it, when I think about Chaeyoung might or could leave me, I will bawl my eyes out. 

I don't know what to tell her actually. She said to me that she will wait until I am ready. I don't even know what I want. The last month, it's been hell for me. Feels like I avoiding her too hard. We are colleagues, of course, there were times when she passed me on campus. But I just froze and hide whenever I see her. Then I cried secretly, I don't know how to face her. I feel guilty, but I miss her. I really miss her it hurts. This morning, when I look at her in the eyes after weeks, it felt like a bullet shot my heart right away. Her teary eyes saw me. This woman loves me. She didn't have to say it but I know she hurt too.