Searching for Chill Vibes

Chapter 8: Am I Wrong

Chapter 8

Summer's P.O.V. 

Alex gripped my hips tightly and her lips feel great. Her hands are everywhere and I feel my mind clear up. I only feel like this when I'm swimming and kissing Alex. My conscience diffuses and I let my morals slip past my fingers and disappear. This why I like kissing and spending time with Alex. I mean, I know my parents are coming back this weekend and I know that Avery is probably cooped up at home and crying. But, call me selfish, I like doing this. I can momentarily forget about my confused sexuality and how deep my denial runs. 

I take control and I tug Alex onto her back and drag my body over her's. 

"...you're in denial," Avery whispered. 

I tangle my hands into Alex's hair and kiss her deep and hard. But Avery's words still vibrate through my head. Those words continue to bounce back and fore, making my current actions harder to process. Shaking my head lightly, I drop my head and start nipping Alex's neck. While her hands skim down my sides and she grabs the bottom of my flannel. Her fingers quickly and calmly unbuttons each button. Once a reasonable amount of my stomach is bared, she places her hands onto my stomach and spreads her fingers. 

One hand moves up and releases the rest of my buttons and she drags her other hand upwards and starts to tug the sleeves of my flannel down. I drop my hands to her hips and press myself against her. 

"Well, maybe you haven't really thought about your sexuality," Avery's voice echoed firm and real against my ears. 

Reality and my common sense seeped back into my brain and I pull away from a disappointed Alex. Common sense told me that, Alex has a unresolved relationship with her boyfriend and that I'm not into her like this. I moved away from Alex slowly and started tugging my flannel back onto my shoulders. 

"What are you doing?" she asked huskily, the haze still covering her. 

Looking down, I started tugging my buttons closed, "stopping," I mumbled, a hint of regret noticeable in my voice. 

"Why?" she breathed out and advanced toward me. 

"I have my reasons," I say coolly and turn my head to the side as Alex presses her mouth against my jaw. 

"What reasons?" she asked and moved her mouth closer to my lips. 

"This," I answered and placed my hand on her shoulder and pushed her away. 

Alex landed against my pillows and stared silently at me, "it's Avery," she hissed. 

I said nothing and looked away from her eyes and nodded my head. 

Alex's fist connected with the mattress, "damn it! Summer why are you so adamant on stopping this?" 

I sighed, "because it's wrong," I mumbled. 

"How? Please enlighten me?" she said sarcastically. 

"Honestly?" I asked guilty. 

"Yes!" 

"Avery said I'm in denial and that I'm probably confused with my sexuality," I say, briefly explaining my inner turmoil. 

"Like she knows anything!" Alex spoke beseechingly. 

"She probably doesn't but she's right. I can't move pass this!" I whispered harshly. 

"Is this why you won't go further?" Alex asked while desperately trying to cover her anger.