Don't Go... (Hunhan)

Chapter 16: Begin Again

Begin Again

     "Jongdae, can we go back?" Suho asked as soon as they reached the gardens on the northwestern part of the park.

     "Junjun... I thought we-"

     "Uhmmm... Jongdae, I changed my mind. I feel like I'm not yet ready to talk about it."

     "What holds you back? Fear? Hate? Hesitation? What?"

     "I don't know. I can feel my chest getting heavy with this. Let's just go back, please?" Joonmyeon begged in a cute manner. He turned around and started walking back to their friends.

     "Wait..." He heard Jongdae and what happened had shocked him. His childhood bestfriend grabbed his shoulders, spun him around and hugged him so tightly. "I missed you..."

     Joonmyeon felt the warm air gushing out of Jongdae's nostrils. It was because of the said boy's face was snuggling closer to his neck. The short boy quickly hitched a breath as his orbs widened.

     "I'm very sorry if you have felt like I have forsaken you... I'm sorry... I hope you'll forgive me," Jongdae said as he tightened the embrace. Suho, on the other hand, was hesitating to hug back. His eyes were just getting more teary with every second that passed.

     "It's not like I did that on purpose. If I only had the authority to command my parents about things, I should have used it very wisely. I know, it hurt you and was still continuing to hurt you. And I hate myself for that. I was too weak, too incapable. I admit, I'm an idiot for not trying so hard just to contact you or communicate with you. Hate me as much as you want, Junjun, I deserve it... But remember... I'll still remain as your bestfriend...whether you like it or not..."

     Joonmyeon thought of it. It's really touching his heart and he felt like bursting out into tears. However, he fought and conquered them for he's too conscious of the people around them. Suho remembered every pain and hardship he went through because of Jongdae. All tears and time wasted were also included. The memories, both good and bad, also rushed back to his mind which therefore gave him reasons to feel mixed emotions. There was joy when he remembered the funny moments they shared together. There was regret when he recalled all the words he failed to voice. And there was anger with every fault & blame he thought Tenten must be responsible with. There was even hatred with the cravings & longings his childhood bestfriend failed to sate due to his absence. He also felt the desperation to shun and shut Jongdae out of his life as a mechanism of protection. All of those, he felt at once. Suho badly wanted to let Jongdae feel what he'd felt but one thing held him back. It was something he also felt, the so-called L-O-V-E that brought him both negative and positive things. Opting to free himself rather than to run & imprison himself once more, he opened up his heart and thought of doing something. He thought that he's tired of being tortured by himself and it's time to fix it. The hesitation to hug back was eliminated and Suho did the said action. They remained like that for few minutes, notwithstanding the pairs of eyes fixed at them. With tears stranded on his eyes, Joonmyeon pulled away from the warm embrace and looked at his bestfriend eye to eye.

     "Good thing that you know you're an idiot, Tenten... You deserved to be punished..."

     "Yah... Why are you like this to me?" Jongdae childishly reacted with a pout. Junjun just giggled and the said action expelled the stranded tears.

     "You're trademark from the past is still the same. You're still the childish high-cheekboned boy I know."

     "I'm glad that you still know me," Tenten commented and showcased a smile. "Well... Uhh... Does this mean that we're friends again?"