Marrying a Boxer | H.S.

Chapter 26

            

In the morning when I woke up, Harry's side was empty. He usually leaves early in the morning, but I can't help but think that this time he left early because of what I said last night. I know he doesn't feel the same as I do. I don't even understand why I feel the way I do towards him, since he is rarely affectionate and we usually fight all the time. Is there something wrong with me?

I wish I could've kept my mouth shut. Now I made everything awkward and whatever progress we had made has gone down the drain.

I keep hoping that he will love me one day, but I know that day is nowhere near. It is clear to me that he is still in love with the ghost of his dead girlfriend. I know it is not something he can get over quickly, but I wish he could just give me a chance.

I shower and get dressed before going down to the dining room for breakfast.

Maura is setting my plate on the table, and a warm smile spreads across her cheeks when she sees me. "Good morning, Scarlet." Her soft voice is comforting to me, as soon as I hear it I feel a peace enter my body.

"Good morning, Maura. How are you today?" I ask her with a smile, as I take a seat.

"I am well," she smiles. "How about you, dear?"

"I could be better." I take a sip of the freshly squeezed orange juice. "Did Harry eat before he left?"

"No. That boy took his keys and rushed out of the house. He seemed troubled."

I motion her to sit next to me so we can talk. Maura has that personality I wish my mother had. Sweet, caring, loving. She listens to me whenever I need it and even gives me advise.

"It's my fault that he left in such a rush." I look down.

"Why do you say that, dear? You didn't do anything to him."

"Maura, last night I told him I loved him. His whole body tensed up when I said it, and then he told me to go to sleep." Tears pool in my eyes and I try to blink them away, but they end up rolling down my cheeks.

"Oh, sweetie! Don't cry. Harry is very difficult to comprehend. He's never been the affectionate kind of person." Maura wipes away my tears.

"But he was affectionate with her. Why can't he move on? Why can't he give me the chance? I know he has so much love to give," I start sobbing in front of her. My heart clenches at the thought of having to spend the rest of my life loving a man who will never love me.

"Oh, darling." She wraps her arms around me and tries to comfort me. "Don't cry, my dear. I know Harry has feelings for you but he is afraid to show them. He is trying to keep his feelings hidden. He's afraid that you will be taken away from him, the way that poor lady was."

"But I don't want him to hide his feelings from me. I want to know how he feels. I-I want him to love me, Maura. I can't live in this house for the rest of my life knowing that the man I married doesn't feel the way I do."

"Give him time, dear. It has been hard for him."

Maura's tries to calm me down, but it is impossible. My sobs are uncontrollable and I feel ashamed for crying in front of her. I get up and run out of the kitchen, up the stairs and to the bedroom.

I need to get out and do something. The pain I feel is not going to go away if I stay trapped in these four walls. I need to get out and get my mind off of Harry.

Grabbing my purse and phone I exit the room and head down the stair to the main entrance. As soon as I open the door, I see Harry, puzzled to see me right in front of him.

"Where are you going?" he asks, brows furrowed.

"Out," I whisper as I walk past him. He reaches out and grabs my arm.

"Out where, Scarlet?"

"I don't know, Styles. Just... out." I roll my eyes and pry my arm out of his grasp, walking away.

In a couple of strides, he catches up to me and wraps an arm around my waist, turning me to face him.

"Let's go somewhere, Sweetheart." He smiles and I look at him confused.

"What? I-I thought you were mad at me because of last night."

"I don't want to talk about last night. Let's go out. Where do you want to go? Shopping? To a restaurant? Maura told me you haven't eaten." He looks at me with concern in his eyes.

"She did?" he nods.

"She always tells me when you don't eat."

"Why?" I ask, confused.

"Because I care, Scarlet. I care about you and your well-being. I know I'm not the best husband, but I care about you." My heart melts with these words. "I know I don't show it, and I'm sorry. That's how I am. But I really do care. I don't want anything to happen to you, Sweetheart." He kisses my forehead and guides me to his car.

Again, he asks me where I would like to go, to which I respond that I don't know. He sighs and drives out of the house. I stay quiet during the drive, and Harry does not attempt to make conversation, which I appreciate. Our relationship is... not great. That's an understatement. Not only do we fight all the time, but we rarely have anything to talk about. We are both very private people. He doesn't talk to me about his things, I don't talk to him about mine.

Harry takes me to an Italian restaurant, and thankfully this time there are no paparazzi surrounding us. I'm starting to believe that my mother has something to do with that. The few times that Harry and I have gone out to eat, we are always surrounded by photographers and it usually happens when I talk to my mother and tell her where we are going.

Our waiter approaches us, giving us the menus and quietly walks away. I look through the different dishes and can't decide on what to get since I am not hungry.

"What are you getting, Sweetheart?" Harry looks up to me. I set down my menu and shrug.

"Whatever you're having. I'm not really hungry. I want some Rose, though." He nods and focuses back on his menu.

The waiter comes back minutes later to get our order and stumbles away once he writes it down.

"So, uh..." Harry begins. "How's your sister?"

I raise an eyebrow. Harry trying to make conversation? That's new. "Um, she's alright. Very round." Harry chuckles and reaches for my hand, covering it with his. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, why?" his brows come down together in confusion.

"You're holding my hand and making conversation. That's... rare."

"You're my wife," he shrugs. "Besides, we don't know who'll take a picture, and make it go viral on Twitter. We must act like we're actually in love, remember?" Ouch.

Throughout lunch, Harry made small talk and told me about his morning and how the businesses are doing. He cracked a few jokes and we had a pretty decent time.

Harry wraps an arm around my waist as we exit the restaurant.  As we walk out the door, someone bumps into me. I feel Harry's arm tighten around me. I look up and my breath catches in my throat.

"Nathan."