Broken pieces (Lesbian Love Story)

RAVEN

Chapter 5: RAVEN

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Dear Diary

I can't sleep. It's as if sleep completely just drained out of my body. Every time I close my eyes and try to fall into a deep slumber, replays of the accident start to haunt me. All I keep seeing is my fathers eyes before it happened. The way he looked at me with so much concern. The minute before life limped out of him.
My Thoughts are like Reminders that I killed them...

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I snapped my book shut and gazed at the sky. I had to step outside for a few because being inside made me feel intoxicated. The four walls of my room made me feel trapped like the night of the accident.

I felt a pang of pain run through the side of my forehead. The pain became unbearable. I groaned as I slowly opened my eyes. My vision blurry. I couldn't see anything so I shut them again. It felt as if someone was putting pressure on both sides of my ears. I rubbed my eyes softly and attempted to open them again. When I saw the sight in front of me my breathing thinned and I started to shake. " dad?" My voice came out in a sob. I looked slowly to my left and Anthony was still in his booster seat his eyes closed. No sign of moving. No. no... " mom!" I screamed. I started to become anxious. My body slowly heating up. I wanted out. I️ attempted to take the seat belt off but it was stuck. I️ tugged and tugged but I️ couldn't free myself of its grasp. All I could see was my mother's hair from behind the seat. " Dad! Wake up" tears began to trickle down my face. " please" I sobbed "please.." I repeatedly began to press on the seat belt, and still nothing. I wanted out. I need to help my family. Their not dead they can't be. Their just unconscious like I was.  " help! " I screamed as loud as I could, causing The pain on the side of my head to deepen. There were pieces of glass everywhere. All over the floor and the seats. I heard whining next to me so I turned my head. The Whining turned into crying. Anthony was up . I reached out to him putting his small hands into mine " it's going to be ok , alright?" I myself didn't believe that. Their was a part of me that knew the truth. He continued to cry. There were scratches all over his face. His lip was busted open and blood was steeping out of it. The door opened next to me. The sound of shattered glass falling to the floor filled my ears. I turned my head back around " are you okay? I called the ambulance their on the way"

"Couldn't sleep?" I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes as I heard footsteps approach behind me. The voice was unfamiliar to me but I answered anyways. "Uh.. yea. just needed some fresh air "I sighed.  I slowly turned around and stood there was the girl that I noticed from dinner earlier. I looked down at my diary and passed my thumb over the cover of it repeatedly, to avoid eye contact with her. I didnt want her to notice that I was crying. "I know the feeling to well. " I heard her chuckle. I didn't speak.  " You alright" she asked. "Yea" I whispered, not once looking up. " You know I hated that introduction also when I got here" there was a small silence. A Comfortable silence. I felt like if I talked, that it would just turn into sobs. " you'll grow to accept it here, you probably won't love it, but soon you'll definitely accept it" she sighed. " it's not all that bad" i still didn't speak. I couldn't bring myself to. " I'm raven by the way, and I'm not going to stop talking until you reply back to me" she chuckled. " you know I always came to the conclusion that my parents were high when they named me. How corny is it that my name matches my hair" I couldn't help but let out a small giggle.  " see there you go. Better then nothing ". I slowly looked up.

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"I dated a puertorican chick once. she was wild, like hella crazy" we both laughed in unison. " we are not that crazy. You must've done something to make her crazy. " I giggled. She pointed at herself as if to be In shock "Me? Psh I'm innocent" She passed a hand through her hair. " I don't know if I should believe that. " I smiled " ok well I forgot to call her once. Big deal." she shrugged her shoulders. " mhm " I nodded my head giggling. " what's funny? , I'm serious." she chuckled then looked at me. " yeah sure" I said sarcastically " Alright. I ignored her the whole day and she showed up here. Not alone but with her and I quote, " Homegirls " to see if I was with some chick" she laughed. " I can't even bring any girls here, it's not allowed." We both laughed again." so who do you feel was the victim here? Poor me right?" she laughed and placed her arms above her knees. We were sat outside on the floor. I was sat with my legs crossed. I was facing her and she was facing me. " actually no. cause your ass should've answered the phone" I pointed at her. We've been sitting outside talking for hours. I couldn't bring myself to get up and leave, I didn't want to. I wanted the conversation to continue. It felt as if I've haven't laughed in days. These past hours I've felt more comfortable with her then I've felt with Sonia or anyone else. I was intrigued. She seemed like such a happy person that its hard to believe that she went through anything. " I don't want to get you in any trouble your first day here so we should head inside" she smiled " maybe your second night here, I will" she laughed. She licked her lips then stood up. She reached her hand out for me to grab. I grabbed her hand and she pulled me up. We were right in front of each other. My hand still in hers. I looked up slowly and my eyes met hers. It's like I was stuck. I couldn't bring myself to look away. Her hand was soft. She didn't look away either. We stood there for what felt like two minutes then Its like I finally came to realization what was going on and I turned my head quickly. " i-i should be heading inside, i-it's late" I stuttered. I pulled my hand back slowly and I walked inside without giving her time to speak or giving it a second thought.

I closed the door softly behind me. Making sure to not make any noise. I walked up the wooden stairs slowly, hearing them creak a bit under me. It was dark inside but I managed to find my room and my bed. I lifted the cover up slowly and slipped under it. I placed my diary under my pillow and shut my eyes.

When we were sitting outside, hours felt like minutes. We had conversation after conversation over the most random things. Not any serious conversations but funny ones. It was as if she knew I was upset and she wanted to clear my head. Not once did she ask me how'd I end up in this group home and not once did I ask her. It was as if my problems had went away for a bit. It was as if my parents were still alive and I had no worries. It was like I finally escaped my mind for a bit. The amount of laughs I had out there was like medicine to me. Easing up some of the pain that's been building up inside of me.

I rubbed the palm of my hand. The one that she grabbed. It's like I could still feel her touch. I sighed. What's going on with me? We just met .. I can't get close to someone. I don't want to. I don't deserve it...

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