Broken pieces (Lesbian Love Story)

I dont know

                     Chapter 10: I don't know

I rushed down the steps to the dining room table. What was that? I don't know what that was. I can't explain what that was.

I've never ever felt like that with another female before.
It's like my mind was still trying to process what had just happened.

It's like she had me in some sort of trance and that knock on the door had brought me back to reality.

I don't know Maybe I was just horny and I felt that attraction to her due to lust.

It's crazy how Lust can drive the most innocent person Insane.

I don't know, I honestly don't know.

It's just so unexplainable. I mean that had to be it though. Lust. Just plain ol lust.

Truthfully, I know deep down inside that what I felt wasn't only attraction. It was more like this Radiant desire. I wanted it. I needed it.

Having her in the same proximity as me gave me this bubbly feeling.

You know
that desperation you get burning inside you when you really want something you can't have?

The way ah drug addict feels their second day of rehab.

That feening feeling. That's it. That's fucking it.

"foods ready" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
Focus Sarah. Focus.

Your thinking way to deep about this.

Eat dinner and just go right back upstairs. I looked up and mrs.jefferson was placing plates in front of each person. The plates were empty. I guess now is when she decides to set up the table.

I sat back in my chair and let out a quiet sigh. I don't have much of an appetite. I much rather be alone at this moment.

My life is just drastically changing and there's nothing I can do about it.

My heads pounding with all these thoughts and emotions and it's all just so much to deal with.

I watched as mrs. jefferson slowly set the table. She stopped behind Raven and placed a fork next to her. My eyes didn't move though they stayed stuck on raven like glue. She was on the other side of the table. She was talking to Audrey. They were both laughing and engaged in their own conversation.

A part of me wished that I was the one sitting on the opposite side of the table with her. I really wonder how she's feeling. I wonder if she felt the same as me or if she felt nothing at all.

She probably felt nothing. I'm here about to drive myself insane over something that I probably just misunderstood.

I was just being ah horny mother-

"Sarah" I lifted my head up to see who had called me. It was mrs.jefferson, she was standing over me with a fork and a bowl. " uh yea?" I awkwardly scratched the side of my arm. " I asked you if you wanted salad "

"Uh.. yeah sure " I stumbled.
I need to get a grip of myself And Pay attention.

I took a deep breath. I'm still continuously thinking about the situation after I told myself not to.