Broken pieces (Lesbian Love Story)

Beauty of the night

The silence comforting. The sky engaging and the breeze gentle. I shivered as I walked around to the side of the house. It was a bit chilly out.

I inhaled the fresh air and I looked up at the sky. Some people are to wrapped up in their own minds to notice the beauty of the night.

The way the moon and the stars light up the sky together. The dark shape of the trees and The way the clouds sometimes slowly sway past. It's all so beautiful.

I made my way to the side of the house. The ladder was already in the right position.

I grabbed my diary with my teeth so that both my hands will be free and id be able to pull myself up.

Despite my fear of heights, I'm going to go up. I honestly didn't care at the moment. If I fell right now who would notice? who would actually care?

I placed one foot on the ladder and I used my hands to pull myself up.

I continued to climb up.

I made my way to the top of the ladder and I pulled myself up to the roof. I grabbed my diary from my mouth and with my other hand I started to pat the dust from my pants.

"and we meet again" she chuckled. I let out a small yelp. "Oh god I didn't know anyone was up here" I placed my hands on my knees and bent down a bit, taking deep breaths and trying to calm my heart.

"your lying. Just say that you wanted to come up and see me I wont judge you" she teased

I stood up straight "Oh shutup, don't flatter yourself" I placed my hand on my heart and let out another deep breath. I walked up and sat next to her. I smacked her in the back of the head with my diary. " that's for almost killing me just now".

she let out a small chuckle. " whats that? " she pointed at my diary.

" A book I think "I said slowly examining it " yep its a book " I joked

"smart ass " she laughed " I mean what's in it"

"It's like my diary, my go to when I want to express my feelings, all the pages are almost filled but I don't know I don't think I'll ever get rid of it" I looked up and she was staring at me, not like a creepy stare, more like this longing one. Like she was here but her head was somewhere else.

"What?" I asked softly, my cheeks starting to burn red. She gave me a small smile then turned her head.

" nothing " she said. It got silent and the only thing making any noise were the passing cars. I kept my eyes on her for a bit. Her face was still, she showed no emotion. I couldn't tell if something was wrong with her or not. I don't know if I should ask. I watched as she twirled the silver ring on her finger. I turned my head around and looked at the streets.

The breeze was starting to get stronger so I let out a small shiver "your cold?' she asked. "uh yea just a bit" I kept my eyes on the streets.

" here" she pulled off her black hoodie and attempted to hand it to me. "you sure ?" I asked before reaching out and grabbing it. "yea" she said. So I grabbed the hoodie and slid it on. "thank you. who knew you were this sweet" I joked. " I know right" she laughed. She had the most cutest laugh. Just the sound of it brought a smile to my face.

I turned around facing her. "OK since you asked me a question about my diary its my turn to ask you something" i said and she smirked. " All these excuses, just say that you want to talk to me" she chuckled "oh please. " I laughed. "What's the question" she asked

I grabbed her hand softly and brushed my finger passed the ring. The ring had the initials JS inscribed on it. "Whats the meaning of JS" I questioned. Her expression changed, she didnt speak, she kept her eyes on the ring. I waited on her response, still not letting go of her hand " It's my fathers initials, His names Jeremiah Smith and no he's not dead but before we get into the mess of my sob story lets stop right here" she licked her lips then turned back around. " Im sorry i didnt mean to make you feel any kind of way with that question" I stated.

"naw it's cool. My father he's in jail. We all have those moments that has happened in our lives that we don't like to speak on. Don't get the wrong impression about my father though because he isn't a bad person he just made all the wrong mistakes for all the right reasons" she slid her hand back and rubbed her chin as she spoke.

"and that's why you have his ring" I whispered " yep " she said. I sat there taking in what she had just said. I had so many question but I wasn't one to pry. "Thank you for sharing that with me" I smiled and she gave me a small nod.

I analyzed her face. She had a piece of lint hanging on her eyelash. " You have something on your eyelash" I pointed at mine. She attempted to take it off but she missed it. " no its still there" I giggled. She attempted again and still missed it. " There?" she asked. " no hold on ill do it" I scooted closer to her. she turned around so that Id get a better reach of her face. We were facing one another. I reached my arm out and softly pulled it off. I slowly looked down and my eyes met hers. She didn't move so I didn't either

she passed her hand over my cheek and I leaned into her touch. I leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her jaw I slowly moved up to kiss her on the lips but she moved back. " I uh should head inside, its late" she cleared her throat and stood up.

Ouch.

I watched as she walked away, not once did she take a glance back. I covered my face with the palm of my hands.

I dont understand...

She made it seem as if she wanted to kiss me.

God I'm so stupid... I shouldn't of attempted to kiss her. I knew I was thinking way to much about this.

I moved my hands and looked up at the sky. I started to feel overcome with grief.

I can't just sit here and beat myself up about it. I'm tired of being so vulnerable. I'm tired of not being able to do anything to help myself feel better. I can't just let her walk away like that, I have to know what's on her mind because if she doesn't actually care a bout me the way she has been outing it out there, then I will just leave her alone before I drive myself insane thinking about this. I've gotten hurt so many times already these past days. I'm tired and it's like When I'm with raven all my pain goes away. I feel so safe and calm around her. like I can just sit there and tell her just about anything. It's weird that I have these feelings for someone I hardly know anything about but I can't help it.

I stood up and made my way to the ladder. I took a deep breath and really slowly made my way down.

I have to talk to her and that's exactly what I'm going to go do.