Broken pieces (Lesbian Love Story)

Home sweet Home

       Chapter 3: Home sweet Home

You have to fight through some bad days

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Dear Diary

It's like now all I do is think and it's killing me..

                 ____________________
I placed the picture of me and my family inside my diary and closed it. It's time to meet the people I'll be living with until I'm eighteen. It's time to see my new home. I pulled the weight of my bag up the three steps and I dropped it down in front of the door. " are you nervous " sighed Sonia next to me. honestly I can't really say that I'm nervous, because My emotions are all over the place at the moment. Fitting in is the least of my concerns right now. I don't care if every single person in that place hates me and that's sad but it's the truth. I don't care about anything anymore. Except for Anthony of course. I'm honestly numb to everything right now. I didn't really feel like talking or sharing my feelings with anyone I just met so I lightly shook my head no. " I'll be here Sarah , if you ever need someone to talk to, or if you ever feel alone. You can call me and I'll be here" Her presence felt warm to me. Like she actually cared. You know, Maybe she does or maybe she just pity's me. Who knows? All I know is that I refuse to accept anyone's pity. I don't want people looking at me like I'm some hopeless teenager calling for help, cause I'm not. I don't want anything from anybody. I don't need anything from anyone. Not once did I move my gaze from the door to look at her. A part of me wanted to believe that she actually cares about what will happen to me and my brother. It wants to believe that she actually cares about how I feel. The other part is dull. The other part believes that she's  just doing her job and that she doesn't really care that my parents passed away. That she actually doesn't give two fucks that me and my brother were separated. " here I'll write down my number so that you can put it away, if you don't want to talk then keep it in case there's an emergency and you need someone " she dug through her purse and pulled out a pen and an old receipt that she had in there. She turned the receipt to the back and placed it on the door. She wrote her cell number behind it and she held it out for me to Grab. I turned my head to look at the paper but I didn't grab it. The dull part of me was slowly winning. " take it please. " she waved it a bit and I grabbed it. I grabbed it just to stop her from talking of course. I looked at the number then I stuffed the paper between two sheets in my diary. I still didn't speak so she took a deep breath turned her head to look at the door and knocked. There was a small silence for what felt like two minutes. The door opened and my light brown eyes met light green ones. A lady that looked to be in her fifties was stood at the doorway. Her hair was red and she was a bit short and chunky. " hello" she smiled " come on in." Her smile was wide, not once did it leave her face, she stumbled from in front of the door, allowing us to walk in. " Sarah this is Mrs.jones, I called earlier to let her know that you'll be admitted in today" I nodded my head and  pressed my lips together. My eyes gazed around the house. rude of me I know. I should've acknowledged her but like I said before I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone. The house was empty. I expected it to be full of girls when I came. Girls all ages running around or watching tv or arguing or something, I don't know. " nice to meet you Sarah" my attention traveled back to Mrs.jones. She held her hand out for me to shake so that's what I did. " the girls are all either at school or work at the moment" she checked her gold watch. " everyone should be here by three today, so In about thirty minutes" her smile still not leaving her face. " we'll get you settled in by then " she had so much energy, like she just got some dick or something right before we got here. " yea sure that's fine " I sighed, I looked over at Sonia. " well I'll leave you both to it, I'll randomly be coming to check up on you, maybe every two or three weeks and I'll let you know right away when your able to visit your brother" she started heading to the door and she turned around " remember you can call if anything " she gave me a soft smile. Her smile was so comforting to me. Its weird but it was.  " just please make sure that Anthony's ok and that I'll be able to see him soon.. "  I blinked a couple of times. She nodded her head " of course" was all she said. She turned around opened the door and walked out. Mrs jones closed and locked the door behind her. " Follow me, I'm going to try and run everything by you very quickly so you can start putting your things away and getting comfortable" she walked a few steps further into the house then stopped. "This is the living room where we have meetings and group or where the girls like to come sometimes to sit down and watch tv once their done with chores and homework and things like that" she pointed out. The living room was nice. The walls were white and they held a few pictures. Both couches were red and the floor was wood. She walked into another room in the house and I followed behind her " this is the kitchen of course. Everyone eats together downstairs at around 7pm. Chores change every week. " I stayed quiet and listened. " so we have throwing out the garbage, washing dishes , cleaning up the bathroom , brooming and mopping. Also once you get out of school, you attend right to your homework, if you need help I'm here" she paused for a second to gather her thoughts " Group is once a week and meetings are if I have to run something by everyone in the house." She picked up a wrapper that she seen on the floor and threw it in the garbage. " everyone must be home by 6pm which is curfew, not a minute after." She turned to look at me " I certainly do not tolerate any arguing, fighting and disrespect, so if you have a problem with any of the girls in the house then you immediately come to me and we solve it". I nodded my head and she continued. " Any questions?" She asked. " no " my voice was low, but high enough for her to hear. " okay well then let me show you to your room" I followed her upstairs to a room that held two beds, the walls were purple and the floor wood. " you'll be sharing this room with one of the girls" I nodded again, I just wanted her to leave. I wanted to be alone and this'll be the last time that I'll be able to be alone. The longer she talked, the less time I had. " Ok. " was all I said. I looked around the room. She stood there for a second as if determining whether to speak or not. Then she spoke " First days for anything aren't easy, But I like to think of us as a family" she slowly walked to the bed and sat down. She patted the spot next to her for me to sit. So I sat and my eyes traveled down to my hands. " Your not alone in this. " she placed her hand on mines. " foster kids tend to isolate themselves because they feel like they no longer have anyone. Not many kids get the opportunity to get into good homes like this one" she sighed " sad to say the systems messed up nowadays, I've been working here for twenty years now. I've met the most broken kids and tried to turn their lives around" she moved her hand from on top of mines " but Sometimes they feel as if they need no one, they feel as if their life is already ruined and nothing can fix it, they isolate themselves to the point that they do reckless things, like runaway, do drugs , drink etc." Her expression was serious. The smile that her face held a few minutes ago , vanished. " Loosing parents is no where near easy, so please take my advice and take the help. Don't be one of those teens. Participate in group, talk to me and let me help you. You are my family now. Remember that." she squeezed my shoulder a bit, gave me a small smile, stood up and walked off. For Anthony I won't ever let myself turn to that. He's my world and I won't be selfish enough to go off and do drugs or drink to take away my pain when I know he's out there somewhere with strangers. He's probably the only thing keeping me together right
Now. He's the only thing keeping me from giving up on life. I lifted my feet on to the bed, laid down and gazed at the ceiling. " Home sweet Home " I whispered. I closed my eyes and let sleep engulf me,