Ceiling Can't Hold Us <TERMINATED>

Chapter 5-D*ckheads & Dreams

A/N

Hey guys, I was gonna start writing last night, but I ended up watching LOADS of Scott Hoying's YouTube videos instead........sorry.

How are you liking my writing style? Not enough description? I think I need to do more descriptions of places/people

This chapter is dedicated to Kevin Olusola, 'cause he's the only Pentatonix member who I haven't dedicated to yet, besides Mitch, who doesn't have Wattpad.

Kevin/Kirstie/Scott/Avi, if you're reading, MITCH NEEDS TO GET WATTPAD, so people can dedicate their awesome stories to him as well as you guys!

I probably won't get much written over the weekend, as I am going out with some friends (I know, I'm astounded I have friends, just like you are)

On with the story!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ellie's POV

*back in Starbucks*

When I start singing, I'm fine. You can't tell I'm nervous. But I am. I'm nervous as hell. And all because of one performance. Because of one person, really. John.

*flashback*

It's raining. Again. Back when I was 10, I used to think the weather depended on how I was feeling. Like, if I was happy, it would be sunny. If I was sad, it would rain.

Then, at 13, I grew up, like all kids have to. Except I was the only one who HAD to grow quickly. Because when Dad got sick, Mum spent more time looking after him, and less time looking after me. We eventually decided it would be best for all of us if I move in with Blake and his family. I didn't mind, though, 'cause I got to hang out at Blake's more, and his parents LOVE me. I started singing more, to distract myself from my worries. I would sing everywhere. In the shower, on the bus, at the dinner table. If I couldn't sing well, it would have driven then nuts, but I was great, so no-one seemed to mind. When I visited Dad in the hospital, I would sing for him, all sorts of songs: fast songs, slow songs, happy or bouncy songs. Whatever songs I thought would make his day better. And he smiled more when I visited, the nurses told me. They said he would talk about me to the other patients, about his daughter that would become the best singer in the business.

But secretly, worse things were happening. I had started cutting, mainly on my shoulders where nobody would see, to distract from the pain seeing my Dad caused, to see him dying in front of my face, and not being able to do anything to help. When I ran out of room on my shoulders, I moved lower down. By this point, at 14 & ½, I had my first boyfriend. John. We were happy, but he didn't know about Dad, or the scars. No-one knew but Blake. John had taken me on a date to the local pizza takeaway--romantic, don't ya think(?)--,when I had stupidly rolled my sleeve up, revealing a few of my scars. John took one loom at them, and walked straight out, no explanation. The next day at school, him and his friends had posted signs all over saying things like 'why don't you cut deeper?', 'No-one wants you' and 'go die, bitch'. None of the other students knew who the signs were referring to. Until John posted on Facebook that his 'relationship with the cutter was over'. Then other people added their own messages. The only people who stood by me were Blake and Carrie, a nerdy girl everyone seemed to avoid. She was quiet and never spoke, but she showed me her own scars, and helped me by coaching me in subjects I struggled with, like music theory and English.

The one event I remember from that year was the school talent competition, because Blake, Carrie and I had decided to enter. Carrie was an ace guitarist, so we entered as a trio.

We had barely started our performance of 'Rolling in the Deep' by Adele when the crowd were chanting 'OFF! OFF! OFF!' I ran to the park, with Blake and Carrie chasing me. I had collapsed on a bench in tears, when I heard Carrie running across the road. Suddenly, a horn honked, and I looked up to see her hit at 40 mph by a taxi. I ran, screaming, to where she fell. She was barely breathing, yet still alive. Those last words she spoke will forever be branded into my mind.

"Don't cut, it won't do you any favours later. You can make the big time, you just have to believe. Don't give up. You and Blake never really needed me. Never give up on your dreams...for me." I was surprised she had held on for so long. Tears streamed down my face, as I held her, dying in my arms,"Stay with me?" she asked.

"I will." I told her. I hugged her close, watching as the light faded from her beautiful bright brown eyes. I picked her up, carrying her to her parents house. Blake found me on the way, but I couldn't speak to tell him what happened. Not yet. We got to her house, and Blake knocked on the door. We waited. And waited. Until finally, the door opened, and a woman screamed. I was brought inside, still clutching the body of one of the only true friends I had known. A blanket was found and quickly draped over me.

"This must be very hard, Ellie, but we need to know what happened." Carries father had said to me, not unkindly. My mind had broken down. I relayed the events, tears flowing freely down my face. Carrie's mother hugged me before we left.

"Thank you," she told me,"for staying with her. She spoke very highly of you."

Days past, I was treated for shock and traumatic experiences. Then came the funeral. I had a whole speech planned, and I spoke about how she had helped me through the hardest part of my life. How she had never given up on me, even when I had given up on myself. At the wake, Blake and I sang for her. 'Rolling in the Deep'. Our talent contest song. We got applause, and many people told us we should go professional as soon as we were old enough. We thanked them and left, not wanting to disturb her family.

By now, at just 15, I knew where my life was going. I knew my Dad was right, I would become the VERY BEST that I could be. I took lessons to improve even more, and started martial arts so I could vent emotions safely on dickheads who tried anything. I also knew that I wasn't attracted to guys, especially after John. Soon after I came out, Blake announced that he was bisexual.

Things were looking up. Dad was let out of hospital, I had my best friend and a whole new direction to my life. I knuckled down with studying, and passed my GCSE's. Just. I thought of Carrie everyday, whether it was simply because I was lonely, or if I was reaching for a blade again. She helped me through when so many councillors had failed.

Then, three years later, Dad got ill again. But it was terminal this time. No cure. I visited every day, singing for him. One day, his breathing was shallow. Too shallow. I suddenly broke down.

"Don't die, I can't lose you, too." I wept.

"Shush, honey, you're too beautiful for tears. Just remember, follow your dreams" he said, hugging me. Mum walked in then, and we all just hugged, until the machine Dad was hooked up to beeped to a constant note. I harmonised with it for a while before turning it off at the plug.

His funeral was a quiet affair, just family and close friends. Me and Blake sang for him, of course. 'Stay' by Rihanna. It only seemed fitting.

*end of flashback*

So, we were walking to the studio, when a sudden burst of nervousness hit me.

"What if they don't like us." I shared a look with Blake, who nodded to show he understood.

"Gurl, puh-lease, they already gave you an audition. That must tell you something, considering we're the ONLY artists they've had for 2-and-a-bit years!" Kirstie said, snapping her fingers.

Laughing at her hilarious sassy face, we walked inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N

OH MY GOD!! that was sooooo emotional to write! No joke, i was actually in tears a few times.

Hey guys, hope this makes up for the absence of me over the weekend.

I realised yesterday that I have been subconsciously baaing certain parts of Ellie on a close friend of mine. I told the friend, and she actually said she was honoured. Not all aspects are true (like the lesbian bit, I'm pretty sure she's straight), but she does sign, and is an awesome singer, with low self-confidence.

This flashback is entirely fictional.

Later 'gators

B.L.T