Accidental Love (Watty Awards 2012)

CHAPTER 16: DECIDED

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CHAPTER 16: DECIDED

JARED’S POV:

                      I hate seeing her like this. I have been watching her for the past couple of hours and not once did she move from her position, much less utter even a single word. She just sat there staring into nothingness, lost in her thoughts, while I stand here completely useless.

                        It has been 2 days since she found out about her mother. I’ve given up comforting her and decided to give her some space. I’ve said every comforting word I could think of and I know that she just needs time.

                         She hasn’t seen her parents not even once, and now suddenly, she has a lead. After 18 years, she finally has information, even if it’s just a name. I don’t even know if she actually wants to get to know them or even see them.

        When I look into her eyes, I see hate and anger. But, somewhere deep down, I can also sense her longing; for her parents and for a family. Just like how I long for mine.

          Being with Anne makes me think about my own parents. I miss them so much. I yearn for all the things that could’ve been. I admit that I haven’t been thinking about them that much ‘til now. I don’t know if it’s a good thing that Anne and I have this in common. I can understand what she’s going through but at the same time, I can also feel her pain. Big time.

I kept my mind preoccupied and my hands busy. I drowned myself in work and activities. But I was never really over it. There’s this hole in my heart, and as I try to ignore it, it just seems to get bigger and bigger. When I’m with Anne, it’s like we share the same misery. We each have holes in our hearts. We’re both broken and we both feel incomplete.

I’m starting to think that the accident was not just an accident. I’m not a superstitious type of guy who believes in signs and stuff like that, but there’s just that one event in your life that makes you think; about the past and the possibilities of the future.

Okay now, I might be overthinking things. I mean, Anne iss just a girl. Sure she’s beautiful and attractive and stuff but she’s still just a girl. So why the hell is she making me doubt myself?

I’m Jared the coldhearted, independent, arrogant and pokerfaced guy, who doesn’t give a damn about partying and other stuff that Mike’s interested in. But I’m not so sure about that now. Not about the partying but about the part where I shut myself from the society and closed my doors to everyone except to my best friend and my aunt. So if this is still true, then I why am I still staying here in this hospital staring at this girl, worried sick about her?

I can’t take this anymore. I sat back on my chair and leaned in closer to Anne. If she noticed, she didn’t show any sign that she acknowledged my existence.