Accidental Love (Watty Awards 2012)

CHAPTER 15: BELIEVE

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CHAPTER 15: BELIEVE

I just sat there on my bed completely dumbfounded with my mouth slightly hanging open and eyes gaping endlessly at Jared, like he’s going to transform any minute now. I was unable to speak for a few moments. It’s like my voice got stuck somewhere down my throat and I can’t get it out no matter how hard I try to. I was so caught off guard by his question, which I wasn’t expecting for like a gaziliion years.

            When I finally managed to say something, all that came out was more of a squeak (and some gagging sounds) rather than a word.

            “….uhmm..I…..ahh….(gagging sound)….” Okay, I’m overreacting. It didn’t come out like that…maybe a little bit, but it’s still understandable. I think.

            “I’m…..f-fine.” I stuttered helplessly, feeling anxious, confused, flustered, nervous, and so much more emotions at the same time. I definitely understand the feeling of having mixed emotions now.

            Great. I just managed, yet again, to make a total fool out of myself in front of Jared. Why do I have to embarrass myself repeatedly when I’m with him? He must think I’m a total weirdo.

            If Jared thought I’m acting weird and slightly idiotic, he didn’t show it and I’m glad for that. I don’t really wish to embarrass myself further. He turned around as he slowly closed the door. For a moment there, I thought he was going to walk out the door and leave me. What after seeing my expression, I can’t blame him if he wanted to leave. But he didn’t, and when he turned around to face me, he has that concerned expression on his face.

            “Seriously Anne, are you okay?” That shook me off a little bit. Seeing his worried eyes boring through mine, I can’t help but melt down. I managed to answer him clearly now.

            “I’m fine Jared.” I mentally praised myself quietly for being able to speak straight.

            Jared approached me and to my surprise, he sat on my bed sending shivers down my body. He leaned in a little bit closer, and I swear I felt my heart rate pick up.

            “You don’t look so well Anne. Your seem tired and you look a little pale.” He said, concern and worry evident in his voice.

            I fought the urge to stare at him and tried to look anywhere but him. Our unnecessary closeness isn’t helping at all. I felt my cheeks heating up and I’m silently praying that he wouldn’t notice.

            “Maybe I’m just a little bit tired.” I lied. I’m not tired. I’m depressed.

            “Just relax yourself. I’ve brought food. Let’s eat first and after that, you can rest.” Jared stood up, easing a little bit of the tension that I’m feeling, and headed towards the small table already unpacking the contents of the plastic bag he was holding.

I’m not used to seeing him acting all worried and caring. It makes me feel vulnerable in a way that I can’t quite make myself respond well to his actions. I always end up either gaping at him looking rather dumb or stuttering with every word I attempt to utter. Good job Anne.