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CHAPTER 13: MESMERIZED
*JARED'S POV*
I was lost in my thoughts for quite a while now just reminiscing the past and thinking about the present. As much as I don't want to admit, the accident made a very huge impact on my life. If Anne thinks that she was gravely affected by this, well, I think I may be more affected than her. This accident might have changed me. It woke some part of me that I never even knew existed.
I said that I would never get too attached to anyone. I've long since decided to take no part in the real world. And now, here I am, going back on my words and swallowing it whole. I'm looking after a girl I barely even know. There has to be some kind of miracle happening here. I know that it's not like were in the getting-to-know-each-other stage yet or that there's a real possibility that we can even be friends, but still, I never expected that this day would come. The day when I finally opened up myself, even for just a little bit.
There's something about Anne that just makes me stay. I could have left her already, right? But no, this coldhearted guy here chose to stay. For what reason? I'm still trying to figure it out.
Maybe it's because of the fact that we both grew up without our parents, or in her case, without her real parents. There must be some kind of attraction for people like that. Maybe because we're somewhat similar to each other that I find it hard to leave her. Maybe we share the same feeling. Well, were different in a way because my parents died while hers left her, but somehow, it still leads to one thing. We're both incomplete.
I slowly walked over to her bed. She's sleeping. Watching her sleep is like watching the open seas. Calm and serene. She looked very peaceful. I wonder what she's dreaming about.
Never had I even notice any girl since I shut myself out of the society. I never paid attention to girls, even the ones that Mike introduces to me. I never cared or even bothered to get to know them. I didn't even look at them long enough to tell if they were pretty. I guess I'm just not interested. But this girl right here, lying in bed sound asleep, is really, really pretty. No, she's beautiful.
I leaned in closer finally able to get a better view of her face. I couldn't resist tucking the loose strand of her long blonde hair behind her ear. As I did that, which by the way I've never done before to any other human being, I pushed my luck a little bit more and dared to touch her pinkish cheeks hoping that she wouldn't suddenly wake up. I don't want her catching me while I study her pretty face. With the lightest touch possible, I carefully ran my fingers on her cheeks and down to her chin bringing it closer and closer to her pink lips. She pursed her lips a little seemingly aware of my thumb lingering there. I faltered a little and quickly removed my hand before I wake her up.
I stared at her for a little while longer, admiring her features. Her long lashes, perfectly sloped nose, and those beautifully sculpted lips had me mesmerized for quite a while. It's hard to get my focus back. I never once stopped to admire any other person and I'm glad to have this chance of really seeing her.
I sat back down on my chair gathering my thoughts. It's been a week since my outburst and we haven't really talked after that. I chose not to say anything not because I'm mad; it's just that I'm too afraid to start a conversation. Yes, Jared-the-tough-guy is afraid of a simple conversation. Well, I have good reason to be. Just look at what happened the last time I decided to chat. I'm not so good at this getting-to-know-each-other thing.
I know somehow Anne still blames me for what happened to her. Well, that's totally understandable considering the fact that she experienced only hardship throughout her life and I only added to that. It's not like I could expect her to be the one to open up a conversation. She's reluctant. I get it. I would be to if we were to switch positions. It's not easy to trust somebody you've just met and barely know.
Another plus factor, I don't actually treat her that nice. She must think I'm totally weird. I can't tell her what to think about me and I can definitely not change the fact that sees me only as the driver of the car that hit her. All I can do now, is try to change how she thinks of me by showing her who I really am. She might or might not like me, but it's worth a try.
I think I'm having some personality issues now. I don't know if I should continue whatever it is I'm doing or stop and just go back to being the normal me. But that would mean leaving Anne behind. Which I don't think I can do.
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xoxo - mai
P.S.
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