Part 67

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  • Dedicated to Louise Cramond
                                    

Two goblins entered Sid’s cave and started to set up a machine.

“What’s that?” asked Sid.

“It’s a death ray to kill you with.”

Sid thought for a second, “How come Puffdaddy is using goblins?”

“We haven’t appeared properly since the fourth book. I think the Author thought it was about time we did.”

“Death ray, isn’t that a bit over the top?”

“It is a spy novel, they’re always over the top.”

“Yes,” agreed the other goblin, “the way James Bond always blows the evil mastermind’s base up at the end. All that wanton destruction. Waste of hard earned money.”

“Hard earned?” queried Sid, “through drugs, crime and other nefarious things.” He glanced around, “Well it looks like this is going to be blown up later then.”

The second goblin humphed.

“Don’t get upset Gilbier, he’s just a nasty dwarf.”

“GILBIER!” screamed Sid with laughter. “What a pretentious name for a goblin. That’s an elf name if ever I heard one.”

Both goblins looked angrily at Sid.

“Hurry up Gob,” said Gilbier, “the quicker we get this death ray fixed up the quicker we can finish him.”

Gob flicked a few switches and pressed a few buttons. “I need to plug it in now. Mr Puffgarden will be here soon to use it on him.” He started to unroll the very large flex.

“Not near enough the plug to kill me eh? I bet they don’t have that bother at the local penitentiary.”

Gilbier acted shocked. 

“Oh nice pun Author, are you going to let me go free now?” asked Sid.

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