Little Shy Ariel (ft. Harry Styles)

Chapter 17 - By The Dock

Chapter 17 - By The Dock

On my way to the lake to check that all the boats are in perfect condition after I went to the retreat centre to deliver the daily order, I can’t stop humming Skinny Love, as that is the song I picked with Mare to practice. It's a lovely song and only on piano, it's absolutely beautiful. I’m teaching her the song so in the video she can play it and I’m even trying to teach her to sing it. It’s not that Mare doesn’t have a good voice, I mean, it’s not incredible, it’s just a normal voice, but she doesn’t know how to control her breathing and her muscles to sing, so we’ve also started to work on that. Maybe we won’t get a deal with this agreement, but at least she’ll get something if I teach her to sing and play the piano. It’s very unlikely that from a video on the Internet someone will contact her. Many people do that and they still haven’t been discovered.

Last night I came home really late but I did not only stayed practicing with Mare and then cleaned, she also gave me many advices and homework, of course. One of the advices was to keep talking to Timmy as I told her about him. And I did that today, we had a small but nice conversation and I barely stuttered. He is really nice and I’m sorry that I didn’t try to talk to him before. But well, the past is in the past and now we’re talking so that’s good. Mare will be happy to know that I’m making progress.

My homework is to greet everyone I see today, just a simple hello and keep going. Being nice, being polite.

Mare always tells me, “You have the confidence inside of you, you know they won’t hurt you or laugh at you. You can do it.” It’s pretty similar at what I used to tell myself before —at least the part that I know they won’t hurt me— but it’s different when someone else says it, someone you admire. It actually makes me believe in myself a bit more, plus, she’s already made great progress with me.

So guess what I did today? Oh yeah, besides talking to Timmy, of course.

When I went to the centre to deliver the daily order I didn’t just smile to Carl. Oh no, this time I took a deep breath, closed my eyes for three seconds and thought of Mare and her words, so I said, “good morning.” Believe me, Carl’s expression made me chuckle but then he soon recovered and replied, “good morning, Ariel.”

It’s amazing how believing in someone can make you believe in yourself a bit more, how someone can give you the strength to do something else. It was really nice to greet Carl and when he said “good bye, Ariel. Have a good day,” I could actually reply back with a “you too.”

All these little things make me so happy. I know they are nothing compared to what other people do, but these are huge steps for me and I know I’m making progress so I try not to compare myself to others or lose my perspective of things. I don’t want anything to take away this happiness from me, especially myself. I’ve realised that oneself is the first to destroy our hopes and dreams, the first to attack our thoughts and happiness. So I’m trying to control that, as well.

When I arrive to the dock I still have that big smile plastered on my face whilst I check all the boats are securely attached. Everything seems in order so next I go to the cottage to make sure all the necessary supplies are there, but when I turn to go there I find someone else on the dock.

Startled, I scream and take a few steps back, almost falling on my bum. Apparently, I’m easily startled.

“Woah there, you okay?” he asks reaching to grab my arm but I gain my balance back and stand straight.

“I-I-I’m fine,” I stutter and have to close my eyes for a few seconds. I try to even my breathing and calm down my racing heart. I remember Mare’s words and I tell myself I can do this, I can do this. It’s just Harry, I’ve talked to him before.